Hey, I need advice

[mykcob4]

Hi, I'm 21 years old junior in college. I haven't believed in a God for years, and this year I finally had the guts to tell two people. Not telling anyone/talking about it for so long was hard but I live in the South and most people I know are Christians. I told my best friend, who is a Christian, but she accepts me for me and it doesn't bother her.

However, I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year and we never have spoken much about religion. I told him I hate church and that was about it. I just recently told him I don't believe in a god or religion, while drunk. Not the smartest move, but anyway he freaked out and told me he does, definitely does he's a big Christian yada yada . Haven't talked about it since, what should I do about that?? I try to bring it up so he can just hear me out but he just says he doesn't want to talk about it. Its such an elepant in the room and our relationship is serious, like he wants to marry me. I just don't know what to do. Really religious people annoy me...not an ounce of me believes in a god and i see religion as stupid and don't understand how people believe..if they just used common sense..

Also, should I ever tell my parents? They are Christians, don't go to church too often but definitely very Christian. They drag me to church sometimes and I HATE it, literally can't stand it. Any thoughts on this? Im afriad it willl break my parents hearts, but they ask me questions regarding religion at times and i just wish they could know. Ugh.

Just be who you are and open about who you are. If people can't accept that then that is their problem.

[Plu]

In the words of Dr. Seuss

"Say what you mean, mean what you say, because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind."

That's actually quite a brilliant quote. I'm going to remember that.

[Glenifir]

As for the boyfriend, some couples manage to make it work, but in my experience those are few and far between (and the believing partner has to be pretty liberal in their belief structure). If he's in any way a fundy or super serious Christian, get the fuck out. You'll be better off for it.

I totally agree; religious belief is so fundamental to how people view the world. If he doesn't even want to communicate about it then that's a whole other problem about communication. I'm sorry you live in an area where there are a ton of Christians, it's hard, my parents are heavy Christians and we argue a lot. Being Christian doesn't just mean you believe in God, it really influences a whole load of other beliefs people have about the world. Forsaking logic in favour of the Bible, I'm sorry but I'd say marrying this guy would probably be a massive mistake.

I would not date a girl/guy if they were heavily religious. It just seems like extra tension added to the general tension people go through in relationships. up to you though, you know the situation better than anybody else...

[FrankDK]

Welcome to the forum.

I would wait until you are more independent of your parents before telling them, not only because some people react badly to the news, but if you are independent, they may react less vigorously.

Boyfriends are another thing.  If it's just for fun, and you know the relationship isn't going anywhere, then it doesn't matter much.  But if you think it might become serious, you should bring up this and every other significant thing that a relationship partner should know.  Saying on your honeymoon, "By the way, everything you believe is nonsense," won't win you any points or make for a long marriage.  Put your cards on the table.

And you should know about him, too.  If he's a rabid Christian, the odds are not in your favor.

Good luck.

You might look for an on-campus atheist or skeptics group.

Frank