School pamphlet on alternatives for sex

[Smartmarzipan]

School releases pamphlet with sex alternatives
http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/8827706 ... ternatives

Christian schools say it's hardly surprising they think students should have a burping contest instead of having sex.

Christian Schools Australia CEO Steve O'Doherty says horse riding, eating something new, blowing bubbles and playing ball without the ball are all better options than doing the deed.

They were among a "101 things to do instead of doing it" pamphlet which was recently given to out to students at Caloundra Christian College in Queensland.

Mr O'Doherty is surprised by the media coverage the pamphlet has received.

SOME SUGGESTIONS A QUEENSLAND CHRISTIAN SCHOOL GAVE STUDENTS TO DO INSTEAD OF SEX:    

*Blow bubbles in the park

*Pretend you're six again

*Look at clouds and see what you can make them into

*Surprise your parents by cleaning the house

*Have a water fight

*Go fruit picking

*Go to Macca's in formals

*Make lunch for the elderly

*Share a drink with two straws

*Visit the RSPCA

*Have a burping contest

Yes, sharing a drink with two straws is going to quell the tsunami of teenage hormones roiling just under the surface. Always worked for me.  :-|

[aitm]

*Blow bubbles in the park
Part of my introduction at the park...

*Pretend you're six again
Part of my acting when i have my particular audience

*Look at clouds and see what you can make them into
good line, i'll try that

*Surprise your parents by cleaning the house
always a weekly chore when the PO is scheduled to stop.

*Have a water fight
oh my..wet t-shirts for kids?

*Go fruit picking
oh dear lord, is that a good line,,,,"here honey wanna feel my strawberries?"

*Go to Macca's in formals
meh

*Make lunch for the elderly
interesting idea if they got grandkids..hmmm

*Share a drink with two straws
might work, rum is certainly faster than a snickers bar

*Visit the RSPCA
ooo. kids love puppies

*Have a burping contest
yeah,, thats already part of the show...

[PickelledEggs]

Last time I went to blow Bubbles in the park was a long time ago... I should probably call her.

*Surprise your parents by cleaning the house

I really don't see how that would be enjoyable...

[Poison Tree]

Yes, if you are ever tempted to have sex, engage in a water fight with your significant other. If, after you run out of water, you engage in horseplay--perhaps tickling-- and collapse together into the cool, soft grass in some secluded spot, your wet clothing clinging to your bodies . . . well, that certainly should get your mind off sex, right

[Rin Hato]

wait what

Is this serious? Oh my...

[AllPurposeAtheist]

What? Jerking off to porn didn't make the cut? Hmmm :shock:

[Solitary]

:shock: I wonder if the kids giggled when they said blowing bubbles? "She'll be coming around mountain she blows."  :rollin:  Did Sarah Palin's daughter take this class?  :roll:

[AllPurposeAtheist]

The good ol asprin between the knees trick.. because asprin defeats hormones! Oh! I know... BASEBALL! Think BASEBALL!
That's the only reason I don't have more kids. :-k

[Agramon]

So I tried to find the actual pamphlet and found the story posted on "Information Nigeria." It's fantastic:

Christian Schools Australia Defends Abstinence, Suggests 101 Things To Do Instead Of Having S*x

Posted by: niyi on June 21, 2013

teenage-s*x- pregnancy

Among a "101 things to do instead of doing it" pamphlet recently given to students at Caloundra Christian College in Queensland, Australia were suggestions such as horse riding, eating something new, blowing bubbles, playing ball without the ball and a burping contest.

Christian Schools Australia CEO Steve O'Doherty says he's surprised by the public attention the pamphlet is receiving as it's hardly anything new that Christians preach abstinence.

"Christian schools teach that the safest way of protecting yourself medically and emotionally is to wait until a stable, married relationship," he said.

"It's hardly front-page news that Christians have that perspective."

Mr O'Doherty said that while abstinence was the preferred option for children and teenagers, Christian schools taught a healthy message about s*x.

"We teach kids about safe s*x, we teach them about the dangers of s*xually transmitted diseases and what you need to do protect yourself against them," he said.

"But we tell the full story too – there are emotional dangers in committing yourself to a s*xual relationship and the best way to protect yourself medically and emotionally is abstinence."

While the pamphlet, which was written by a third party brought in to help the school with its curriculum, carries some light suggestions, it also has a serious side, Mr O'Doherty says.

Among 33 actual reasons young people have given for abstaining are: "I'm only 14, I have the rest of my life" and "If I'm hurt too many times, I might miss out on something great because I'm so afraid of being hurt again."

Are there other things you think you can also do instead of having s*x?

Link

They can't even write sex. I'm dying over here.

[Hydra009]

*Blow bubbles in the park
But only if he asks politely

*Pretend you're six again
But only if they're into it

*Look at clouds and see what you can make them into
Penises.

*Surprise your parents by cleaning the house
???

*Have a water fight
Or do some water polo.  Or any other sports that involve water.

*Go fruit picking
Melons.

*Make lunch for the elderly
Salads. Tacos.  Hot dogs.

[the_antithesis]

SOME SUGGESTIONS A QUEENSLAND CHRISTIAN SCHOOL GAVE STUDENTS TO DO INSTEAD OF SEX:    

*Blow cum bubbles in the park

*Pretend you're six again and play "Doctor"

*Look at clouds and see what you can make them into. Usually dick and boobs

*Surprise your parents by cleaning the house. Too easy

*Have a water fight

*Go fruit picking... That's what the Rick Copeland does, isn't it? I don't keep up with youse kids slang.

*Go to Macca's in formals. What the fuck is Macca's?

*Make lunch for the elderly. Too easy.

*Share a drink with two straws. Too obvious

*Visit the RSPCA. That's too kinky for even me.

*Have a sperm burping contest

Came full circle at the end, pun not intended, but I'll take the blame for it.

[Youssuf Ramadan]

*Blow Bubbles in the park

Great. Look how it ended for Michael Jackson....


I guess wanking ain't allowed then?...

[Fidel_Castronaut]

Pretend you're 6 again!?

What the fucking fuck?

[Smartmarzipan]

"But we tell the full story too – there are emotional dangers in committing yourself to a s*xual relationship and the best way to protect yourself medically and emotionally is abstinence."

While the pamphlet, which was written by a third party brought in to help the school with its curriculum, carries some light suggestions, it also has a serious side, Mr O'Doherty says.

Among 33 actual reasons young people have given for abstaining are: "I'm only 14, I have the rest of my life" and "If I'm hurt too many times, I might miss out on something great because I'm so afraid of being hurt again."

These people act like sex is some kind of dangerous, life-altering thing. And they're acting like being in a non-sexual relationship isn't also open to serious emotional trauma. Honey, you can get burned pretty badly in a relationship while being celibate. I feel like this promotes unhealthy attitudes towards sex....like it's some evil thing waiting to get you and if you have sex with someone, you're "committing" to them, or something. I wish people could just say, "Here. These can be some of the realistic consequences of being in a sexual relationship. If you choose to have sex, please take these precautions. Have a nice life."

[Plu]

Pretend you're 6 again!?

What the fucking fuck?

You can play doctor with your partner :D Sounds like fun to me.