Satanists plan public service, Christians commence wetting themselves

[trdsf]

So the Satanic Temple of Los Angeles is planning a public ritual.  Cue panic (and also cue my own heartfelt and nearly audible eyerolling).

The one thing I wish they would answer is: if the god they believe in is so powerful, what the fuck are they worried about?  And if they have reason to be worried, what kind of a piss-poor god do they believe in?

Anyway, the best comment from one of the illiterati is:

In the name of Jesus Christ I repuke this !!!

Well, I can certainly agree with being made sick by religion.

[Baruch]

Both the social and the anti-social are in the Matrix.  Doesn't matter what pill you take, it is matrixes within matrixes.  This example demonstrates the real reasons why people are religious ... they are tying to keep a cap on their social anxiety.  To be excited by dangers both real and imaginary ... and vented violently eventually.  The catharsis of a sacked city.

[Hydra009]

The one thing I wish they would answer is: if the god they believe in is so powerful, what the fuck are they worried about?  And if they have reason to be worried, what kind of a piss-poor god do they believe in?

Yeah, I don't get that either.  Supposedly, God's in control and Satan is weak in comparison, if he even exists at all.  Yet these people really get their jimmies rustled over this sort of thing.

And it's so bizarre to see seemingly modern people who are used to modern technology and are aware if not enthusiastic about the latest scientific breakthroughs get really upset about rival cultists and their dark magic.

[Pipu.Diiding]

Yeah, I don't get that either.  Supposedly, God's in control and Satan is weak in comparison, if he even exists at all.  Yet these people really get their jimmies rustled over this sort of thing.

And it's so bizarre to see seemingly modern people who are used to modern technology and are aware if not enthusiastic about the latest scientific breakthroughs get really upset about rival cultists and their dark magic.

They keep saying god can know your thoughts before you even speak it out. I guess this bunch of people do before they think. And God can't predict what they're gonna do.

^^^ the only explanation I can come out with.
Can anyone suggest to God that he should practice his psychic abilities?

[Flanker1Six]

In a paltry effort to add some levity (and practicality; I might add!) to the festivities....................I'll be operating a concessions stand at the ritual.  Featuring "Holy Water" wooden stakes/mallets, King James Bibles, and I still have a few pieces of the True Cross for sale as well!   Should be fun!   w00t! 

[widdershins]

I watched the movie The Witch last night.  Horrible movie.  At the end, though, it had a little note that the stories were taken from period journals and, in fact, much of the dialogue was taken directly from those journals.  I realized this wasn't just Hollywood hype, this is pretty close to what people (Puritans, I suppose) actually used to think.  And I began to realize that a very small part of that is still held over in the beliefs of many Christians today.

The people in the movie were constantly terrified.  They lost a baby ("magically" disappeared in a split second, taken by the witch, but they didn't know that).  The baby had not yet been baptized.  In one scene the son was asking the father whether the baby was in Heaven or Hell and the father responded that we could not know about the fate of any man, not even ourselves.  In another scene the mother was crying and screaming that the baby was in Hell, born with sin which had not yet been washed away by baptism.

Now of course the movie was fiction, but it's from journals of the time (admittedly the "based on a true story" crap usually means it's VERY loosely based on truth).  While this isn't what "really" happened, this is really what these people believed.  They prayed but had no expectation that God was going to help them in any way.  But they very much DID believe the devil walked among us snatching up souls and whispering in ears, even granting supernatural powers to those who "wrote their name in his book".

And you still see some of that today.  Few people actually expect miracles to happen.  Nobody tries to walk on water or turn water into wine because they know that they don't really expect that to happen.  Though the God of the Bible granted super powers to pretty much all of his loyal followers back in the day, nobody today expects to actually get super powers.  But they DO believe that OTHER PEOPLE do.  For Catholics it's the pope.  He has the super power of not being wrong.  For many small churches it's anyone who's faithful enough (though nobody actually knows anyone that faithful, only that it's not them).  And for all of them it's Satan's followers, granted powers by the Dark Lord to fuck with them and steal their children away from the Lord.

There is a very real fear in Christianity of the power of Satan, but there's also a very real feeling of powerlessness among Christians themselves.  Very new Christians might be gung-ho about getting those super powers and might actually try to materialize them, but eventually they come to the conclusion that they do not have, nor will they ever have super powers.  But it's possible to get them.  It's just really, really hard to be good enough to get them from God.  But it's really, really easy to be bad enough to get them from Satan.  They "know" these powers exist, they just don't know anyone with these powers.  So there's nobody to protect them should they ever meet someone with powers from Satan.

A large part of that is due to the way the church teaches its bullshit, too.  A hero needs a villain.  Constant tribute requires only comes if there is constant danger.  They teach their people to be afraid all the time.  That's why they always think they are being persecuted.  There has to be a constant threat for the church to protect them from.

[gentle_dissident]

I watched the movie The Witch last night.  Horrible movie.  At the end, though, it had a little note that the stories were taken from period journals and, in fact, much of the dialogue was taken directly from those journals.

Thanks for the heads up. If I ever meet any Puritans, I know what I'm showing them for Halloween.

[_Xenu_]

When are people going to learn that Satanists are mostly trolls in it for the lolz?

[Baruch]

Puritans wear black.  Count Dracula wears black ... therefore to repel Puritans eat lots of garlic ;-)

[widdershins]

Thanks for the heads up. If I ever meet any Puritans, I know what I'm showing them for Halloween.

You wouldn't have to show them anything.  You just say "Hail Satan" and then start speaking in German (the scariest language I know).  Hell, it would also work on Jehovah's Witnesses, Pentecostals, Southern Baptists...a lot of them.  They would take that shit literally.  You would see a look of terror and, sadly, glee on their faces.  The glee would be because they FINALLY had a "real" devil to fear.

[Flanker1Six]

Puritans wear black.  Count Dracula wears black ... therefore to repel Puritans eat lots of garlic ;-)

Alright!  Enough with the conspiracy connect the dots ****!  My car is black inside and out......................I AM NOT rubbing garlic on the seats!  If I find any unauthorized Puritans in it..........................I'm pushing them out at the first stop sign! 

[Baruch]

Alright!  Enough with the conspiracy connect the dots ****!  My car is black inside and out......................I AM NOT rubbing garlic on the seats!  If I find any unauthorized Puritans in it..........................I'm pushing them out at the first stop sign!

Got a bottle of Jim Beam?  Argh ... if you are boarded by Puritans, it is better to stone them first before they stone thee!