ITT: We Use Fucked Up Logic To Prove Stupid Points

Started by The Skeletal Atheist, September 15, 2015, 09:00:37 PM

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The Skeletal Atheist

September 15, 2015, 09:00:37 PM
I'll start -

Charles Darwin freed the slaves:

Abraham Lincoln is commonly known as the man who freed the slaves.

Charles Darwin was born in the same day that Abraham Lincoln was.

Lincoln had a beard.

Darwin had a beard.

Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin have never been seen in the same room together.

THEREFORE

Charles Darwin is Abraham Lincoln

AND THUS

Charles Darwin freed the slaves.

Some people need to be beaten with a smart stick.

Kein Mehrheit Fur Die Mitleid!

Kein Mitlied F�r Die Mehrheit!

kilodelta

#1
September 16, 2015, 02:42:28 PM
100% of those that wear turtleneck sweaters die.  These sweaters wrap around the neck unlike other types of sweaters. The cessation of breathing is part of death. Therefore, turtleneck sweaters kill.

We should ban all turtleneck sweaters.
Faith: pretending to know things you don't know

dtq123

#2
September 16, 2015, 08:31:38 PM
Proving God is a Girl.

If:
God is real
Then:
God would leave a sign

If:
God would leave a sign
Then:
It's obviously in Japan

If:
The Sign is Obviously in Japan
Then:
That sign must look like tits

If:
That sign must be tits
Then:
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/695/966/002.gif
Therefore God is a girl
A dark cloud looms over.
Festive cheer does not help much.
What is this, "Justice?"

peacewithoutgod

#3
September 17, 2015, 06:34:21 PM
If the bible is the word of god, then the bible is true.

In the bible, its authors claim to be writing for an almighty god, who was so mighty he couldn't learn to write it for himself.

The above makes the bible the word of god, therefore the bible is true!
There are two types of ideas: fact and non-fact. Ideas which are not falsifiable are non-fact, therefore please don't insist your fantasies of supernatural beings are in any way factual.

Doctrine = not to be questioned = not to be proven = not fact. When you declare your doctrine fact, you lie.

josephpalazzo

#4
September 17, 2015, 06:36:41 PM
It's either Saturday or you're in Paris.

It's not Saturday

Therefore you are in Paris.

TomFoolery

#5
September 17, 2015, 08:54:42 PM
I feel compelled to throw famous advertising slogans and jingles under the bus, but it seems too easy.
1. Red Bull gives you wings. There are billions of species on the planet with wings. Therefore, Red Bull is responsible for a significant development of evolution. Therefore, Creationism is false.
2. I love the fishes 'cause they're so delicious. Therefore I don't love anything that isn't delicious. This is making my relationship with my family rather strained.
3. Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. A measles outbreak occurred at Disneyland. Therefore, extreme happiness causes measles.

How can you be sure my refusal to agree with your claim a symptom of my ignorance and not yours?

doorknob

#6
September 19, 2015, 01:45:03 PM
This actually isn't funny but here goes.

Mr castle is a teacher that my son idolizes. Apparently Mr castle is a genius. Mr castle is successful proving that he is a genius. Mr castle made the class watch a documentary about how creationism is true. It was a documentary there for every thing in the documentary is fact making creationism true.

there you go logic as told by my son. True story.
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