Atheistforums.com

Arts and Entertainment => Tell a Joke or two => Topic started by: Hijiri Byakuren on October 23, 2015, 08:00:07 PM

Title: The Death Star was an inside job.
Post by: Hijiri Byakuren on October 23, 2015, 08:00:07 PM
I mean think about it, how does one escort fighter manage to hit a hole the size of a womp rat when bombers had already failed to do so? Let's not forget that this was all supposedly accomplished by some moisture farmer from the ass end of the galaxy who had never so much as touched an Incom T-65 in his life until then, yet somehow made a shot that his own flight leader couldn't pull off?

Then there's the issue of the station's defenses. Why did Governor Tarkin hold off deploying the station's fighters until it was too late? Why did Darth Vader, who is supposedly the father of the above pilot, break protocol to pilot a TIE Fighter himself and just happen to be a safe distance from the Death Star when it exploded?

This was obviously an inside job. Vader obviously planted charges all throughout the station, overruled Tarkin's orders to prevent the other fighters being scrambled, and then escaped in his own fighter, timing the explosions so they could conceivably have been caused by the rebels. When you consider the rumors that Vader tried to link up with his son many times, and that said son now leads the new Jedi Order, it's clear that this was all a result of Vader's own vanity. Darth Vader killed millions of people for the sake of extremely convoluted nepotism.

Spread the truth.

(http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3n9evMP5D1qa9armo1_r2_500.jpg)
Title: Re: The Death Star was an inside job.
Post by: aitm on October 23, 2015, 08:07:14 PM
 :67:
Title: Re: The Death Star was an inside job.
Post by: FinalSomnia on October 23, 2015, 10:16:37 PM
X-wing fuel can't melt quadanium beams.
Title: Re: The Death Star was an inside job.
Post by: Hydra009 on October 24, 2015, 03:28:41 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agcRwGDKulw

The shot was physically impossible.  Impossible for a human.  I'm not saying Gungans did it, I'm just saying that we hold a couple for enhanced questioning and then see how far we want to take it.
Title: Re: The Death Star was an inside job.
Post by: josephpalazzo on October 24, 2015, 05:51:47 AM
The Death Star survived. Here's proof:

[spoiler](http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff277/josephpalazzo/Deathstardidwtc.jpg) (http://s243.photobucket.com/user/josephpalazzo/media/Deathstardidwtc.jpg.html)[/spoiler]
Title: Re: The Death Star was an inside job.
Post by: stromboli on October 24, 2015, 12:33:45 PM
Meh. In our quaint time period we can build a missile- Sidewinder III- that can hit a high speed target shot from a high speed launch vehicle with such accuracy that it is virtually 95% reliable. And a missile that can be launched from a high altitude weapons platform- GBU 24- and hit a target dozens of miles away, again with pinpoint accuracy. If an X Wing fighter can't hit a still target on dead approach without the use of The Force, doesn't say much about their weapons platform or their skills.
Title: Re: The Death Star was an inside job.
Post by: Hydra009 on October 24, 2015, 01:51:27 PM
Quote from: stromboli on October 24, 2015, 12:33:45 PMIf an X Wing fighter can't hit a still target on dead approach without the use of The Force, doesn't say much about their weapons platform or their skills.
In the Star Wars universe, the technology is a bit strange.  Everything looks heavily used yet still functional.  And there appear to be long periods of technological stasis, from the looks of things in the original trilogy.