https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjtwvL01f0g
tl;dr- based on the eye of Osiris, pyramid measurements, some other shit. some woo for you-u-u-uu.
Won't happen. I have a doctor's appointment.
And oh yeah, this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2TPeW_QBlE&feature=youtu.be
hope some idiots die
As a Lesbian, I will not be taken in the Rapture. Pets don't get taken in the rapture either. So for this limited time offer, you -- yes you! can be sure that your pets are taken care of after the end of the world. While everyone else will be pre-occupied by the orgies, I will feed your pets for a nominal fee of your entire life's savings. Please transfer all cash over to me by September 22nd, 2015. Once the check clears the bank, after the Rapture occurs* I will take care of your pets.
*Money not refundable if rapture does not occur.
I wasn't very convinced by the second video, but then I saw his youtube comment that says that the Bible says there would be scoffers and that's 100% true. Who could've possibly predicted something as far-fetched as that?! Not the people who wrote the Bible!
Also, there are unambiguous signs of the end times - blood moons and eclipses. And what's more, it's the "70th Jubilee (celebrated every 49 years) since the flood that occurs on September 23 on the day of atonement which is the day of the Lord (judgement) and the day of Christ (rapture)". 49 X 70 = 3430. I mean, if you can't look at that number and think of judgment day, then you must be really dumb. And speaking of really dumb, it sure was nice of God to take this guy who clearly suffers from some sort of anxiety issue and tell him about the imminent end of the world, knowing full well that he'd be written off as a loon by most sensible people. Attaboy, God!
Bring it on. The last few have been fucking hilarious. Where is Harold Camping these days? Is he dead yet? He won't want to miss this.... again....
Well, supposedly Jewish apocalypses are more genuine than Mayan apocalypses ;-) I know one Jewish person who is afraid of the shmitah / blood moon thing, he posted on another blog over a year ago about it. The problem with all calendrical apocalypses, when a calendar runs out of pages, you just go down to the bank and they give you a free one for the coming year.
In ancient Jewish culture, there were three new years per year (we like to party). The one in the Fall is special, because it is before the Day of Atonement. But reputable authority says this was only true since the 4th century (when the current Hebrew calendar was invented by the rabbis) ... that originally the Day of Atonement happened right after the Spring new year ... but after the "victory" of Christianity under Constantine ... the rabbis wanted to "mess" with the Christians ;-))
However Gentiles do like synchrony ... they use the Hebrew calendar to plan when they are going to do something evil to Jewish people. So if there were going to be a nuclear war against Israel ... it would be either near the anniversary of the destruction of the Temple (twice ... thanks Germans, Romans and Babylonians) or near the Day of Atonement.
(http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff277/josephpalazzo/getarapture.png) (http://s243.photobucket.com/user/josephpalazzo/media/getarapture.png.html)
Quote from: stromboli on September 08, 2015, 01:45:20 AM
Won't happen. I have a doctor's appointment.
This is so strange. I have a doctor's appointment on the 23rd, also. Since I've heard it said that, "There are no coincidences," I suspect we have been guided by a divine hand, and that the doctor's appointments are somehow a part of a greater plan, which will only be revealed at the proper time. Or alternatively, the simultaneous scheduling of these appointments may have been necessary to create a doomsday vortex that will facilitate the rapture.
Oh please, let it happen this time - take all these shitheads away from here, somebody! Anybody!!! Shoot them into space, shoot them with a gun, drown them in the ocean, or send them into the Sun, but however you do it, shut them up and make it eternal.
Quote from: NakedTracyBlack on September 08, 2015, 02:05:48 AM
As a Lesbian, I will not be taken in the Rapture. Pets don't get taken in the rapture either. So for this limited time offer, you -- yes you! can be sure that your pets are taken care of after the end of the world. While everyone else will be pre-occupied by the orgies, I will feed your pets for a nominal fee of your entire life's savings. Please transfer all cash over to me by September 22nd, 2015. Once the check clears the bank, after the Rapture occurs* I will take care of your pets.
*Money not refundable if rapture does not occur.
If I were you I'd advertise that on craigslist because all those craigslist checks are good.
As a Lesbian, I will not be taken in the Rapture. Pets don't get taken in the rapture either. So for this limited time offer, you -- yes you! can be sure that your pets are taken care of after the end of the world. While everyone else will be pre-occupied by the orgies, I will feed your pets for a nominal fee of your entire life's savings. Please transfer all cash over to me by September 22nd, 2015. Once the check clears the bank, after the Rapture occurs* I will take care of your pets.
*Money not refundable if rapture does not occur.
The Lord may come back this month to take his Church or not. But it will happen, and when it doesn't it won't be a laughing matter. Today is the day to repent and accept His free gift of Jesus' sacrifice before it is too late.
I enjoyed the second video.
Heaven without pets would be Hell. My dog genuinely likes me. There's not a doubt in my mind. Maybe I'm just a meal ticket to him, but whatever the thing is that he's feeling is just fine by me. I don't get anything from the alleged god, I don't feel loved or hated. I don't even sense an indifference. It's like he's not there. I'll stay on earth with my canine friend and companion, rather than go to heaven and be in the presence of a god who acts like he doesn't exist at all. What's the fun in that?
My day is complete. Noah is here to preach to us.
And just a reminder, here is the wiki on Rapture predictions.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events
I was going to count them but lost interest after 100. Maybe Noah can count them for us.
So what your saying is, when the rapture happens, only christians, and devout christians at that, will 'ascend' to heaven, leaving all non-Christians and non religious behind, also all animals.
See.. the funny thing is, this sounds like the best solution for all. Because of the ever growing secular society, anyone who doubts god will not be allowed to ascend, all atheists, agnostics, gays, Asians, Jews, Hindu, Muslims, and every other non-devout christian won't ascend, and this will cut a huge population of the planet down, making things like the resource issue on earth all the better.
This is what Christians think the world would be like after a rapture.
(http://www.wwalls.ru/large/201210/11801.jpg)
What it actually would look like is more like this.
(http://www.rockymtnrefl.com/rustlergulchlupinesunflowers.jpg)
But taking a break from making light of the insanity of Christians for a moment, this is something I've always found disturbing about these people, that at there core they are so hate filled with anyone who doesn't follow there beliefs, they would imagine anyone else living in a burning wasteland for not following the same thing they do. These people are so vindictive of other people around them, they create this apocalyptic imagine of anyone except them burning and suffering, because they have been indoctrinated into believing it.
Right. An orderly society of people that aren't attacking each other for ideological differences. And working to stop global warming and other problems that plague mankind. All the theists will be up yonder and all the scientists and naturalists will be down here fixing shit. Works for me.
Quote from: NoahsArk on September 08, 2015, 09:38:03 AM
Today is the day to repent and accept His free gift of Jesus' sacrifice before it is too late.
Fuck Jesus.
Quote from: NoahsArk on September 08, 2015, 09:38:03 AM
As a Lesbian, I will not be taken in the Rapture. Pets don't get taken in the rapture either. So for this limited time offer, you -- yes you! can be sure that your pets are taken care of after the end of the world. While everyone else will be pre-occupied by the orgies, I will feed your pets for a nominal fee of your entire life's savings. Please transfer all cash over to me by September 22nd, 2015. Once the check clears the bank, after the Rapture occurs* I will take care of your pets.
*Money not refundable if rapture does not occur.
The Lord may come back this month to take his Church or not. But it will happen, and when it doesn't it won't be a laughing matter. Today is the day to repent and accept His free gift of Jesus' sacrifice before it is too late.
Repent? Repent for what? The fact that I like pussy? Seems like a stupid thing to repent for. Now you better repent for wearing socks. Because that's against my religion. Socks are an abomination before the Goddess.
Yeah and then we will have gay people, lesbians and transgenders walking around holding hands and kissing in public, not feeling persecuted or pointlessly shamed. The horror!
And people will be actively helping each other instead of huddling in church and praying for a solution.
The rapture? Bring it. I'm ready.
Just send your money to a prosperity gospel tv preacher and you get in heaven and if not then hey, at least you'll be broke and made into a laughing stock.
Boy! It just can't get any better than that now can it? And who knows? The preacher might even repent and actually send you back the money tenfold. Personally I'd bet against it in Las Vegas, but imagine the odds you'd get and the payoff if it actually happened.
Quote from: NoahsArk on September 08, 2015, 09:38:03 AM
As a Lesbian, I will not be taken in the Rapture. Pets don't get taken in the rapture either. So for this limited time offer, you -- yes you! can be sure that your pets are taken care of after the end of the world. While everyone else will be pre-occupied by the orgies, I will feed your pets for a nominal fee of your entire life's savings. Please transfer all cash over to me by September 22nd, 2015. Once the check clears the bank, after the Rapture occurs* I will take care of your pets.
*Money not refundable if rapture does not occur.
The Lord may come back this month to take his Church or not. But it will happen, and when it doesn't it won't be a laughing matter. Today is the day to repent and accept His free gift of Jesus' sacrifice before it is too late.
Noah, yes, it is and will be, again, very laughable. A belly laff!!! And a kind of shake your head and chuckle laff. You are laff--both kinds. BTW, "Hid free gift of Jesus' sacrifice" is not free; if you accept it, it will steal your brain, make you mindless. And blind. So, there is no free lunch--you will pay with your sanity. I guess, maybe, you already have. For that I am very sad.
Quote from: NakedTracyBlack on September 08, 2015, 12:32:47 PM
Repent? Repent for what? The fact that I like pussy? Seems like a stupid thing to repent for. Now you better repent for wearing socks. Because that's against my religion. Socks are an abomination before the Goddess.
Hmmm................I like your reasoning.................I like pussy, too. :) That is stupid to repent for. But socks? I like socks, just not with sandals.
Take them by the hair
Take them anywhere
Shoot them into space
Shoot them in the face
Shoot them with a gun
Send them to the Sun
Goodness gracious, Dear
Just get them out of here!
What a terrible fate
When they've taught you to hate
And to fear your own good, loving nature
If the end of the world
Means an end to their whines
And their cruel lies
Then bring on that Rapture!
Yeah, but this is the real deal because we had like 3 blood moons and this is the 70th Jubilee year. You can't have any more proof than that. Also I saw a black cat in my back yard. I mean, you can't refute that shit forever.
Considering that only followers of the real word will be taken, I am sure the four or five of them will have room for one more.
I live with a black cat, and she has brought me nothing but love ... bwahaha!
As soon as the rupture occurs the average IQ of the world will increase tremendously. Unfortunately, it'll never happen.
:pray:
Quote from: Baruch on September 08, 2015, 06:38:55 PM
I live with a black cat, and she has brought me nothing but love ... bwahaha!
its actually salem from sabrina the teenage witch.
(http://imagesmtv-a.akamaihd.net/uri/mgid:file:http:shared:mtv.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Happy-1434985694.gif)
Quote from: Baruch on September 08, 2015, 06:38:55 PM
I live with a black cat, and she has brought me nothing but love ... bwahaha!
Don't you mean you live with her? A subtle, but important cat point-of-view.
It reads fine to me.
Quote from: Munch on September 08, 2015, 06:56:48 PM
its actually salem from sabrina the teenage witch.
(http://imagesmtv-a.akamaihd.net/uri/mgid:file:http:shared:mtv.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Happy-1434985694.gif)
We had a delightful poster a while back, Witch Sabrina, but she up and left without a good bye, without stating a reason, or without placing a curse on anyone in the forum. She just seemed to not be there one day.
Maybe she was related to Salem, and coughed up a hairball ;-)
My ex, when in seminary, had a coed who was Wicca.
Quote from: Baruch on September 08, 2015, 07:18:39 PM
Maybe she was related to Salem, and coughed up a hairball ;-)
My ex, when in seminary, had a coed who was Wicca.
Ever notice how in fictional stories witches are always fun and interesting characters. Sabrina, bewitched, Willow Rosenberg, the whole harry potter gang, Zatanna, the witches of oz, Mildred "Millie" Hubble, the witches of eastwick, while christians in fictional stories are more often then not the same level of extremist weirdos as they are irl, or just very boring characters.
Wicca is the most entertaining in terms of fictionalized storymaking.
I am partial to goddesses ... the real thing was less charming ... going back to archaic head-hunting ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHO0eYR1gzs&list=PL4B3351B66C8BBABF
Apart from every other religious bullshit in the first video, somebody should tell this woman -Renee smt- that most blockbusters, big budget movies with visual effects are usually about the end of the world or humanity in one way or another -because the narcissistic animal called human deems that as the greatest, most glorious catastrophie in the universe- and so made with grand visual effects OPEN IN FALL SEASON of NORTHERN HEMISPHERE around the world.
First reason is that the movie industry lies in the northern hemisphere where weather gets cooler or colder in fall; it is the end of summer; children are back to school and settled; adults are ready for the winter race, so there is always better odds that people will buy some overprized tickets with their families or themselves and watch a movie in a theatre. Everybody is more likely to choose to stay or go interiors for some form of entertainment. (Fall is also the time of every kind of festivals, events...etc. I don't know US, but esp. starts in September in Europe.)
And related to this, also for a psychological effect, movie producers usually pick dates in fall seasons; dates near the end of months (dramatic effect); the dates they distribute the movies for show, esp. September if you think it is the month when everyone is settled and after the first rush in end of the summer every year.
And when they pick a date or a number in a movie, they usually repeat it -or pick 'similar looking numbers'- to create an overlapping effect between numerical images people see during -also about- the movie. Otherwise, it is difficult for most people to 'follow' the numbers, because when they see different ones, most people unconsciously feel like relating them even when they do not mean anything in the script which would ruin the movie experience. Or if the numbers mean something in the script they again use the same or similar looking numbers, so people could follow or relate them easily.
It's also mostly prime numbers -they look more complicated; 23 or 27 look more random, raw and complicated than 12 or 6 or 18- or numbers with same digits or numbers with superstitious meanings.
It's unbelievable how a simple life cycle; human narrative gets to be interpreted in a religious nutjob's hands. Simply this woman or these people in general have no idea where/when they exist. I mean literally. Seriously, this is something much more than some 'relgious woo'. It's fascinating. Everything around her must look some what very 'ethereal' to her to come up with something like this or to people who believe in it. I don't mean the second coming part. That's a ready given pattern to be filled. I mean how she gets there, how she connects the elements of her fantasy. And the movies of course. From Ghostbusters to Deep Impact. They do not even belong to the same genre. Try to imagine how does she percieve the physical beings around her. Why would any of these people respect any form of life for any reason? Are they even aware what's alive or what's not?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9KlMWzKj4s
Some shit remains funny.
drunkenshoe ... so that is why the Australian film industry is doomed? Why all their actors move to Hollywood? When do they start school down there (in the calendar, not the season)?
Despair over human experience ... I get that. Revenge porn ... I get that too. What is wrong with you? ;-)
Quote from: Baruch on September 09, 2015, 07:14:10 AM
drunkenshoe ... so that is why the Australian film industry is doomed? Why all their actors move to Hollywood? When do they start school down there (in the calendar, not the season)?
Despair over human experience ... I get that. Revenge porn ... I get that too. What is wrong with you? ;-)
Watch the video, you'll see.
I say good riddance!
Quote from: stromboli on September 08, 2015, 01:45:20 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjtwvL01f0g
tl;dr- based on the eye of Osiris, pyramid measurements, some other shit. some woo for you-u-u-uu.
Won't happen. I have a doctor's appointment.
And oh yeah, this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2TPeW_QBlE&feature=youtu.be
Didn't that Harold Camping guy try this back in 2012?
Is this another serious doomsday movement, or just some random crank with a Youtube channel?
Apocalyptic predictions are my favorite Christian nonsense -- they're always made by the ones so sure that the bible is literally true... and they always cheerily ignore Matthew 24:36 ("But of that day and hour knoweth no one, not even the angels of heaven, neither the Son, but the Father only"). Not so literally true, apparently.
Well I don't think that the Israelis will be involved, since they are secular, and they don't believe in any borrowed Jewish apocalypse, after the Christians had their grimy hands on it for 2000 years, or the stuff in the Dead Sea scrolls either. But if Russia and Israel go to war over Syria ... then I may be proven wrong ;-(
Quote from: trdsf on September 09, 2015, 07:11:10 PM
Apocalyptic predictions are my favorite Christian nonsense -- they're always made by the ones so sure that the bible is literally true... and they always cheerily ignore Matthew 24:36 ("But of that day and hour knoweth no one, not even the angels of heaven, neither the Son, but the Father only"). Not so literally true, apparently.
The good thing is that the more these fundies cry wolf, the less sheep they're likely to attract to their flock in the future. Because one can only hear too many failed doomsday predictions before realizing the entire thing is bullshit.
Quote from: Baruch on September 09, 2015, 07:18:21 PM
Well I don't think that the Israelis will be involved, since they are secular, and they don't believe in any borrowed Jewish apocalypse, after the Christians had their grimy hands on it for 2000 years, or the stuff in the Dead Sea scrolls either. But if Russia and Israel go to war over Syria ... then I may be proven wrong ;-(
When I was a Christian I read a book by a Messianic Jewish scholar (one of my friends was a Messianic Jew. Great guy) that pretty thoroughly debunked the rapture. Read another book by Hal Lindsey that basically said "its in the bible, you just have to read between the lines...." Also another popular xtian mopologist of the time debunked it, and then Tim LaHaye and company came out with the "Left Behind" BS and soaked the xtians for a large chunk of money. Got the idea there was a certain level of gullibility there.
And yes, Gog and Magog has always been out there in the wings. That prophecy I studied pretty thoroughly. Epic shit, kind of disappointed about it now. And I'm pretty sure there has to be a temple there- you know, Abomination of Desolation, unless someone came up with another explanation how that might happen. And the red heifer thing.........
Ace101 - there are new fools born every minute - P T Barnum
Stromboli - yes, if you read the church histories, you can see that a lot of this recent apocalyptic stuff started with the Millerites in the US in the 1833 - 1843 period. And it was re-popularized in the late 19th century by certain businessmen and theology cranks ... and that brought about the San Diego death cult that wanted to be taken off this planet by a flying saucer hiding behind a comet. The reestablishment of a modern Israel didn't help things, and the reconquest of Jerusalem in 1967 fooled even Orthodox Jews opposed to Israel.
There are Messianic Jews in Israel right now, who will clean the Temple mount of Islam, and rebuild the Temple and restart the sacrifices, including the Red Heifer bit. Not all Messianic Jews are sane ... now or 2000 years ago. The terrorist Goldberg nearly accomplished that in 1984 with his attack on the tomb of Abraham and Sarah ... a John Brown like event, to start a general conflagration, leading to the Third Temple. I don't need ashes from the Red Heifer altar, to prophesy that would be a bad idea. Hopefully history isn't that cruel ... well it usually is, so best get your 1950s fallout shelter ready!
Quote from: Ace101 on September 09, 2015, 07:33:14 PM
The good thing is that the more these fundies cry wolf, the less sheep they're likely to attract to their flock in the future. Because one can only hear too many failed doomsday predictions before realizing the entire thing is bullshit.
I find it an interesting statistic that every single prediction of any sort of religious apocalypse not just in Christianity, but in the
entire history of humanity, has been wrong.
The numbers do not make me want to take this one any more seriously, certainly.
I know about the Millerites and the origin of the rapture doctrine. What makes me laugh is the level of gullibility among xtians that buy into the rapture scenario without studying it. There are a wealth of xtian pastors that buy into it, probably mostly because the fear aspect of it puts people in the pews.
Pastors fear other pastors coming to steal their flock to the church across the street ... that and they don't want to be stoned for impiety by the uppity laity. And those are the good pastors ... the bad ones are the Elmer Gantry types you outline.
Quote from: stromboli on September 09, 2015, 08:03:45 PM
I know about the Millerites and the origin of the rapture doctrine. What makes me laugh is the level of gullibility among xtians that buy into the rapture scenario without studying it. There are a wealth of xtian pastors that buy into it, probably mostly because the fear aspect of it puts people in the pews.
What about the Repute movement makes it any less of a doomsday cult than the Branch Davidians anyway, other than a slightly higher level of mainstream acceptance?
If there are too many believers, not even the ATF can take them on ;-) ... oh, the ATF couldn't successfully take on the Branch Davidians ...
Quote from: trdsf on September 09, 2015, 07:59:39 PM
I find it an interesting statistic that every single prediction of any sort of religious apocalypse not just in Christianity, but in the entire history of humanity, has been wrong.
The numbers do not make me want to take this one any more seriously, certainly.
Most likely the Youtube channel will be deleted as soon as the 23rd comes with no Rapture - just like most of the "Harold Camping" cultists simply wiped their internet personas rather than admit their gullibility.
Someone should save the Youtube video for posterity.
One would have to wonder if the book suggested that the priests tell the followers to give me 75% of your wealth within two days so you can go to heaven……the whole idea of religion would have died a sudden death.
Quote from: stromboli on September 09, 2015, 08:03:45 PM
I know about the Millerites and the origin of the rapture doctrine. What makes me laugh is the level of gullibility among xtians that buy into the rapture scenario without studying it. There are a wealth of xtian pastors that buy into it, probably mostly because the fear aspect of it puts people in the pews.
Well, why not? They buy into all the rest of it, what's one more piece of bullshit when you already have enough to fertilize the entire Corn Belt?
Quote from: aitm on September 09, 2015, 09:28:15 PM
One would have to wonder if the book suggested that the priests tell the followers to give me 75% of your wealth within two days so you can go to heaven……the whole idea of religion would have died a sudden death.
That, or a bunch of us heathens standing outside the church the Sunday before the given day with "can I have your car?" placards. The sheer embarrassment of realizing what gullible dupes they are might get the message across.
Quote from: aitm on September 09, 2015, 09:28:15 PM
One would have to wonder if the book suggested that the priests tell the followers to give me 75% of your wealth within two days so you can go to heaven……the whole idea of religion would have died a sudden death.
If I recall right, during the Middle Ages, priests of the Catholic Church would sometimes charge money in exchange for confessions (meaning damnation if one refused to pay up).
Quote from: Ace101 on September 09, 2015, 09:49:18 PM
If I recall right, during the Middle Ages, priests of the Catholic Church would sometimes charge money in exchange for confessions (meaning damnation if one refused to pay up).
yes, but it was always for "whispery" things. In the middle ages people thought the sky was water and damnation was a pence.
Quote from: Ace101 on September 09, 2015, 09:49:18 PM
If I recall right, during the Middle Ages, priests of the Catholic Church would sometimes charge money in exchange for confessions (meaning damnation if one refused to pay up).
And let's not forget the practice of selling indulgences -- shortening your "wait time" to get into heaven by greasing the palms of the church.
Not that the cherry-pickers paid any more attention to the whole 'camel through the eye of a needle' thing than they did anything else they found inconvenient.
My thinking is, if their god wants a gold-lined goblet for the ceremonial wine, let him magic one up and free up the cash that would have been wasted on it to help real people in the real world. I can't walk by a church without a shudder over the money wasted on fairy tales and campfire stories, that could have made a real and measurable difference in someone's life.
Confession was mandatory, and periodic, and fraught with frightful punishments for lying ... for the same reason that the NSA captures all of your phone calls and Internet URLs ;-) Today we don't go to church for confession, we do it every time you log in ;-))
Quote from: trdsf on September 09, 2015, 07:11:10 PM
Apocalyptic predictions are my favorite Christian nonsense -- they're always made by the ones so sure that the bible is literally true... and they always cheerily ignore Matthew 24:36 ("But of that day and hour knoweth no one, not even the angels of heaven, neither the Son, but the Father only"). Not so literally true, apparently.
I don't think they even believe what they're saying. They do it to sell books and get free publicity.
Quote from: Blackleaf on September 10, 2015, 12:39:52 PM
I don't think they even believe what they're saying. They do it to sell books and get free publicity.
They get publicity for a while, but they end up looking like idiots. It's really not much of a win. And if you ever did predict the apocalypse and get it right, what good does that do you? There you are with a shit pot full of money and fame, standing in the middle of an apocalypse.
Best to go for short term profits ... I don't think the Bible writers are still getting residuals, since "you can't take it with you".
The important thing is, what are people wearing to this late Autumn Rapture?
Don't make fun of stylish women or metrosexuals ... or you will only arrive in sack-cloth and ashes.
(http://i.imgur.com/kwnGzIk.png)
The wait is killing me...
Funny little meat sacks, thinking the Universe revolves around their lives. If Earth poofed out of existence there would be so little caring elsewhere.
Well, life is like a box of chocolates ... you never know what you are going to get ;-) Diversify your ability to survive, and then you will have better means to deal with whatever comes. But for me, being a prepper is going too far.
Any one else feel like the apocalypses will be brought on because of Christians and their stupidity? If there is any punishment to be incurred I feel like it will be the christians bringing it too us. For their bigotry and other crimes against humanity.
If they get raptured it will be a relief not some kind of punishment.
Quote from: 1liesalot on September 12, 2015, 08:48:07 PM
The important thing is, what are people wearing to this late Autumn Rapture?
Chanel no 5.
Btw, the world was supposed to have suffered a gigantic financial collapse today. So things aren't looking good for the rapture.
Quote from: stromboli on September 13, 2015, 03:37:55 PM
Btw, the world was supposed to have suffered a gigantic financial collapse today. So things aren't looking good for the rapture.
Who cares as long as nothing interferes with-
(http://www.talklikeapirate.com/partykit/adam_kreuger_talklikeapirate.jpg)
Quote from: doorknob on September 13, 2015, 02:10:17 PM
Any one else feel like the apocalypses will be brought on because of Christians and their stupidity? If there is any punishment to be incurred I feel like it will be the christians bringing it too us. For their bigotry and other crimes against humanity.
If they get raptured it will be a relief not some kind of punishment.
The Bush family and their friends have been showing their determination to make manifest their sick fantasies since the late 19th Century. They helped the Remingtons whitewash their illegal sales of guns to unstable countries, thus precipitating WWI.
It seems like every year some jackass promises that I don't have to do my Christmas shopping this year and I think, 'This one seems legit!' and then every year I'm doing it all at the last minute. The funny thing is that since my daughter was born the end of the world was supposed to be on her birthday, I think, 3 times. I remember 2 for sure. There was Harold Camping's prediction for October 21, and the LHC was set to start October 21, creating micro black holes that would totally suck. I'm thinking there was a third one.
I really miss the 2012 doomsday prophets. They all fizzled out as 2012 actually approached and it came time to nut up or shut up. They apparently chose the latter. But they were such glorious nutjobs! I remember reading one post from someone saying that we could stop the coming apocalypse if we brought together all 13 crystal skulls in the right place at the right time. I responded asking where the number "13" came from since far fewer such skulls had ever been found, most were proved forgeries, the one that wasn't proved was almost certainly a forgery and nowhere in any history ever is the number 13 mentioned except in that idiotic post. Of course, thinking about that would have shattered the fantasy about crystals and scary things and magic, so I assume the OP skipped over the post so as to avoid such thought because I never got a reply, that I know of. So many crazy theories of what would destroy us all and what magical nonsense we could do to avoid it. But as the time approached, all the talk just vanished. Of course, I also stopped hanging out in forums filled with nutjobs about that time. I just couldn't take the infantile magical thinking any more.
Quote from: jonb on September 13, 2015, 03:44:39 PM
Who cares as long as nothing interferes with-
(http://www.talklikeapirate.com/partykit/adam_kreuger_talklikeapirate.jpg)
Way ahead of you. Navy trained and all. Arrrrrr. :pirate:
Someone on Reddit planned to draw a picture of Mohammed every day until further notice. Not sure whether it's still going on but I hope it is.
OH MY GOD! We are dangerously close to the rapture! Run and Hide atheists! Gods wrath is about to be incurred.
(sarcasm)
Worth noting that nobody other than the zealous minded conservatives are really bothering with this. The local zealots have mostly gone underground since the whole thing was exposed in local media. Hope they are all wagging their fingers judgmentally at the rest of us from their bunkers.
Can't have a thread like this without
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzqiPvGrkTo
Somewhere in the world right now, hard core fundies are actively trying to trigger armaggedon/ww 111/end of days/ rupture etc. :sign0151:
We know all these predictions are bullshite, cos when something happens we'll have no fucking warning, and the religious nutjobs will all cry with joy cos their going to meet gawd.
And the rest of us will end up as zombies............
(http://i61.tinypic.com/142a145.jpg)
Yeah and zombies don't give a shit. the opportunity to bite a believer is too good to pass up.
My body is ready.
I'm just hoping to see some great snatch.
(http://i1160.photobucket.com/albums/q490/atheola/TANWC-TheGreatSnatch_edit_1442885419582.png.jpeg)
Stromboli was going to make a comment about a "great snatch" and decided not to do something that might offend various feminists on the forum..... :whistle:
Quote from: stromboli on September 21, 2015, 10:16:38 PM
Stromboli was going to make a comment about a "great snatch" and decided not to do something that might offend various feminists on the forum..... :whistle:
Yeah, no need to be a cunt about it.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on September 22, 2015, 05:11:03 AM
Yeah, no need to be a cunt about it.
That reminds me for no particular reason. In the Army we have a 'cunt' cap. It's official name is the Field Cap. It's that long cloth cap usually worn with the dress uniform, and it folds down flat when not in use. I was so used to using the slang name, that I used it a couple of times around my new wife. That cured me of using it from then on. :)))) Well, at least around her.
We called them "piss cutters".
8hrs and 40mins to go
But it's already the 23rd over a fair part of the planet.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on September 22, 2015, 05:45:12 PM
But it's already the 23rd over a fair part of the planet.
Then the most of the world should be seeing assholes and foot bottoms right about now!
Quote from: Mike Cl on September 22, 2015, 05:47:29 PM
Then the most of the world should be seeing assholes and foot bottoms right about now!
My eyes are peeled for snatch! Nothing yet. I may need to widen my search! (Can't stop laughing at my own joke!)
Snatch? :96:
Still a few hours away for me. Then I get a plate of cookies.
ill be asleep
Anyone still here?
...
...
Just me?
...
...
...
FUCK.
Guys I have just been Raptured and I am now in the Heavenly Dimension! The chocolate chip cookies here are absolsutely delightful. We all have WiFi here and have Iphone9s, yes 9s. Jesus just broke out a keg and Buddha just took the stage with John Lennon. It's going to be a party! Sorry you guys aren't here but that is the breaks. Holy crap! Jerry Garcia and Sid Vicious are joining Buddha on a jam and Jesus is rocking out! Damn you guys are missing out! See you later because me and a young Marlon Brando and Kurt Cobain are going to do a threeway. Ciao!
I got my coffee and waiting to be raptured. When is it happening, what are the signs?
Kurt cobain? Now I know you're lying - he suicided, therefore couldn't be forgiven. He be in hell. Yes, that's really the only reason I know you're lying!!!! Not.
The 9s has a problem with the screen freezing and also automatically formatting the memory. It seems you're in hell, my friend
Sent from your mom.
I'm just waiting for all of you to leave so I can have the planet to myself and rifle through all your stuff.
sorry but I don't plan on attending the rapture. I'll be here also rummaging through peoples things. The only thing I worry about is not knowing how to operate a power plant. Otherwise not real concerned. There will be plenty of canned food around for a long while.
I just got ruptured--damn that hurts! Wait................that was supposed to be rapture wasn't it?
You don't need to operate a power plant, just use portable generators. Plenty of fuel around. The real dilemma is if one has an injury or illness. Believe me, I have thought this entire scenario through for years.
Quote from: GSOgymrat on September 23, 2015, 09:07:03 AM
You don't need to operate a power plant, just use portable generators. Plenty of fuel around. The real dilemma is if one has an injury or illness. Believe me, I have thought this entire scenario through for years.
There is a great book that deals with that. It's called The Earth Abides. A scientist is doing some research in the isolated hills of CA, when he is bitten by a rattlesnake. After he recovers--just barely. So a week later he is just able to get to his vehicle and get to civilization. Except that is now gone. He learns from some 2/3 day old newspaper that a strange and deadly virus has wiped out nearly 90/95% of the population of the Earth. It is a large book and deals with just that problem. How does one survive alone (starting in San Francisco), and then the problems of trying to hook up with others. It is very well done.
Why is the word "rapture" so closed to the word "rape"?
Quote from: Mike Cl on September 23, 2015, 09:16:02 AM
There is a great book that deals with that. It's called The Earth Abides. A scientist is doing some research in the isolated hills of CA, when he is bitten by a rattlesnake. After he recovers--just barely. So a week later he is just able to get to his vehicle and get to civilization. Except that is now gone. He learns from some 2/3 day old newspaper that a strange and deadly virus has wiped out nearly 90/95% of the population of the Earth. It is a large book and deals with just that problem. How does one survive alone (starting in San Francisco), and then the problems of trying to hook up with others. It is very well done.
Thanks! I had not heard of that one. I will definitely check it out.
Quote from: GSOgymrat on September 23, 2015, 09:21:20 AM
Thanks! I had not heard of that one. I will definitely check it out.
It's by George R. Stewart. I would imagine you could find it for a dollar or two from Abe's Books.
Quote from: Mike Cl on September 23, 2015, 09:16:02 AM
There is a great book that deals with that. It's called The Earth Abides. A scientist is doing some research in the isolated hills of CA, when he is bitten by a rattlesnake. After he recovers--just barely. So a week later he is just able to get to his vehicle and get to civilization. Except that is now gone. He learns from some 2/3 day old newspaper that a strange and deadly virus has wiped out nearly 90/95% of the population of the Earth. It is a large book and deals with just that problem. How does one survive alone (starting in San Francisco), and then the problems of trying to hook up with others. It is very well done.
Just don't lose the hammer, okay?
Guess I can cancel that order for the thousand rounds of .308........
(http://i61.tinypic.com/qsnvkp.jpg)
If Only.....................
ikr
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on September 23, 2015, 11:34:03 AM
Just don't lose the hammer, okay?
I keep it on the night table next to my bed. :))
Quote from: josephpalazzo on September 23, 2015, 09:18:45 AM
Why is the word "rapture" so closed to the word "rape"?
Because of Latin. It comes from
rapiere which means to literally take by force or seize. Rapacious, raptor, and rapid also derive etymologically from the same word.
Funnily enough, "testify" and "testicle" both derive from the the Latin "testis" which literally means "witness." Think about that the next time someone "witnesses" to you about Christ.
Quote from: Green Bottle on September 23, 2015, 11:51:05 AM
(http://i61.tinypic.com/qsnvkp.jpg)
If Only.....................
Oh yeah...even the joke of it is bliss.
Quote from: TomFoolery on September 23, 2015, 12:57:34 PM
Funnily enough, "testify" and "testicle" both derive from the the Latin "testis" which literally means "witness." Think about that the next time someone "witnesses" to you about Christ.
You can legitimately tell them it's bollocks!
Quote from: trdsf on September 23, 2015, 01:49:13 PM
You can legitimately tell them it's bollocks!
If I remember correctly, Roman men held their testicles as a show of honesty when 'testifying' in a public forum. No bible for them. :)
Quote from: Mike Cl on September 23, 2015, 03:03:24 PM
If I remember correctly, Roman men held their testicles as a show of honesty when 'testifying' in a public forum. No bible for them. :)
Or keep the Bible and just let men teabag it.
Here he comes...
[spoiler](http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff277/josephpalazzo/Jesus1.gif) (http://s243.photobucket.com/user/josephpalazzo/media/Jesus1.gif.html)[/spoiler]
Actually I think the blood moon happens on the 28th or something and the last given date by some of the believers is not until the end of the month. In any case I'm going to have to take down my big box with the "Rapture on the 23rd! Put your car keys here!" sign.
(http://rfavillejr.com/Images/stillhere.jpg)
Babytooth owes me a plate of cookies.
Preferably chocolate chip/M&M's. Yummies.
I haven't been on this forum for a while, did the rapture happen or nah?
Quote from: MagetheEntertainer on September 24, 2015, 10:17:13 AM
I haven't been on this forum for a while, did the rapture happen or nah?
Well as far as I can tell, no Rapture hatches have been used, and there are no cases of whole sets of clothing laying around where people once stood.
Quote from: Hijiri Byakuren on September 24, 2015, 10:28:37 AM
Well as far as I can tell, no Rapture hatches have been used, and there are no cases of whole sets of clothing laying around where people once stood.
Pix or it isn't true.
It would be a Jewish rapture in this case ... so Gentiles needn't be concerned ... and it is un-kosher to appear in public naked, so raptured Jews would still be fully dressed (but not in mixed fibers of course).
Doh!
Happy 11 Tishrei 5776 BTW ;-)
Oy vey?
Didn't see no damn blood moon. I am disappoint. World ended yet? (pinches self) Ow. Nope. Now I am double disappoint.
I didn't see the blood moon. Of course I was looking for my little psycho path son. I won't say more than that here.
Not surprised or disappointed that we are still here though. Wasn't even worried about it.
Quote from: stromboli on September 28, 2015, 02:14:44 AM
Didn't see no damn blood moon. I am disappoint. World ended yet? (pinches self) Ow. Nope. Now I am double disappoint.
I did see it last night, but it looked more like brown, the kind of color that comes out from the butt, not a pleasant sight.
Month's not over yet. My rapture card is good until the 30th.
(http://the-militant-atheist.org/images/rapture-survivor-card-small.jpg)
Who do I complain to about these missed appointments? I swear, I'll have my own damned rapture next time. And it'll have black jack and hookers.
Quote from: kilodelta on September 28, 2015, 04:48:21 PM
Who do I complain to about these missed appointments? I swear, I'll have my own damned rapture next time. And it'll have black jack and hookers.
you know, I'd always find that an incontinence. I mean your playing blackjack, trying to win some money, and you keep getting distracted by the dancing hooker on the table, making you lose at your turn. I would say have a bar with bowling and grills, since the smell of grilled meat will drive you to win and get that bacon grilled cheese.
Plus hookers are expensive.
Is Jesus Christ a lazy bastard or what?!
Quote from: stromboli on September 28, 2015, 02:14:44 AM
World ended yet? (pinches self) Ow. Nope.
The Rapture is just a way of ridding the world of religious nutjobs. The world won't end then, it will just heave a sigh of relief.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on September 29, 2015, 07:14:23 AM
The Rapture is just a way of ridding the world of religious nutjobs. The world won't end then, it will just heave a sigh of relief.
Given some thought to it, I think I might see why if the rapture did happen, we'd be in trouble. If it did happen, and only the christians flew up to heaven naked leaving cloths behind, what would be left is every other religion, and those who didn't believe in god. This would give islam and all its associated cults more power to take over the western world.
Thank you, Munch, for ruining my fantasy. Jerk.
WINNER!
(http://i.imgur.com/sMB0HBD.png)
:clap: :clap: :clap:
Quote from: Munch on September 29, 2015, 10:34:44 AM
Given some thought to it, I think I might see why if the rapture did happen, we'd be in trouble. If it did happen, and only the christians flew up to heaven naked leaving cloths behind, what would be left is every other religion, and those who didn't believe in god. This would give islam and all its associated cults more power to take over the western world.
It would also kind of imply that everyone left behind was destined for Hell. But I hear the lake of fire is a nice 200,000 Fahrenheit degrees this time of year.
The world did end. It was just quietly replaced by an exact replica.
Quote from: Atheon on October 01, 2015, 02:49:25 AM
The world did end. It was just quietly replaced by an exact replica.
Dammit can't find it, I just remembered a pinky and the brain episode where brain made a paper mache earth, and everyone moved to it with the offer of free t-shirts, only for a meteor to destroy the real earth.
Today's the day!. I wouldn't mind but my Rapture frock is still at the dry cleaners.
http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/archives/2015/03/22/why-october-7-2015-is-the-likely-end-of-the-world-part-3/
Quote from: 1liesalot on October 06, 2015, 06:48:02 PM
Today's the day!. I wouldn't mind but my Rapture frock is still at the dry cleaners.
http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/archives/2015/03/22/why-october-7-2015-is-the-likely-end-of-the-world-part-3/
That is so appropriate for me! Why, you may ask (or you may not). Well, I'll tell you (anyway). It is my 70th birthday! And no, I did not think to make it this far. So from now on, I'm living on gravy time. My medical family history is such that we don't really get this far--not usually. So, bring on the end of the world. For all those who believe, I hope it comes true for them. :))))
Congrats, Mike. Btw, another date coming up- October 7th. Tomorrow. So then what? Sheesh.
Quote from: 1liesalot on October 06, 2015, 06:48:02 PM
Today's the day!. I wouldn't mind but my Rapture frock is still at the dry cleaners.
http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/archives/2015/03/22/why-october-7-2015-is-the-likely-end-of-the-world-part-3/
All the calculation and analysis in the world will not save you from a faulty premise, in this case, the notion that a band of near-ignorant goat herders have any fucking clue how the universe actually works in general or in detail (beyond herding goats).
Didn't the CIA have an experiment where they stared at goats? Maybe they were trying to get a message from the Great Bleeet! I prefer using a thread, a skeleton key and a seance at Halloween. It gives binary answers not letters like Ouija ... so it is conducive to uploading as a binary into my computer ;-)
Quote from: 1liesalot on October 06, 2015, 06:48:02 PM
Today's the day!. I wouldn't mind but my Rapture frock is still at the dry cleaners.
http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/archives/2015/03/22/why-october-7-2015-is-the-likely-end-of-the-world-part-3/
So God is punishing the earth because of the TPP?!? WTF.
Quote from: Blackleaf on October 01, 2015, 01:38:09 AM
It would also kind of imply that everyone left behind was destined for Hell. But I hear the lake of fire is a nice 200,000 Fahrenheit degrees this time of year.
Can't wait! Positively tropical. Praise Jeeeeeeeeeeeezus.
A few years back, Harold Camping's backup prediction date fell on the first day of a convention I always go to.
Of course we had an end of the world party. Followed by a "yay, we're still here" party. And of course, the rest of the convention.
They should have given up setting dates after the world failed to end on Jan. 1, 2000, the mother of all dates.
I was part of the IT plunge protection team on Dec 31 1999 ... and we did save the world from certain destruction ;-) Thank you, thank you!
... and here we go again...
http://www.alternet.org/belief/christian-cult-predicted-wednesdays-world-annihilation-will-study-bible-revised-deadline (http://www.alternet.org/belief/christian-cult-predicted-wednesdays-world-annihilation-will-study-bible-revised-deadline)
Nothing can happen until the US Navy arrives in the S China sea, or Putin takes his shirt off again!
Quote from: 1liesalot on October 19, 2015, 07:18:59 PM
... and here we go again...
http://www.alternet.org/belief/christian-cult-predicted-wednesdays-world-annihilation-will-study-bible-revised-deadline (http://www.alternet.org/belief/christian-cult-predicted-wednesdays-world-annihilation-will-study-bible-revised-deadline)
Not really ...............and here we go again............, but this is an ongoing thing. There is one nut job group or another (or more) that is predicting the end of the world. They all have one thing in common--they have all been wrong and will be for another several billion years.
fundies and their predictions of the end of the world is like a compost heap, you just keep adding more fresh banana skins, potatoes and leftovers on top of the previous lot, and as they breaks now, more fresh compost gets added on top.
infact.
(http://i.imgur.com/kSNPU3O.jpg)
Quote from: Mike Cl on October 19, 2015, 07:28:23 PM
Not really ...............and here we go again............, but this is an ongoing thing. There is one nut job group or another (or more) that is predicting the end of the world. They all have one thing in common--they have all been wrong and will be for another several billion years.
Actually they have one other thing in common. They are all mental.
You know ..even IF one of them are ever right about the end of the world there would be nobody left to sit there smirking and saying, "See? We were right! "
That's why I almost hope they're right and just two survive, one a fundy and the other an atheist just to be able to say, "Oh fuck off!"