A man is dating a woman. He keeps asking her for sex. She refuses. She says that she has never seen a man naked before, and never will until her wedding night.
He finally agrees to marry her. After the ceremony, as they are heading for their honeymoon, he makes a stop at a hardware store, and buys a can of red paint, blue paint, and a hammer.
The store owner notices the "just married" sign on his car, with his wife in her wedding dress, and asks why would be he stopping to buy these things?
The man says, I'm going to paint one ball red and one blue, and when she says, "those are the strangest balls I've ever seen I'll hit her on the head with the hammer"
This is something Mark Dreher would do. :P Solitary
A tanker ship full of red paint and a tanker ship full of blue paint were cruising through the ocean when they rammed into each other.
Nobody was hurt, but all the sailors were marooned.