//http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-who-sex-sofa-public-2002194
QuoteA man has been spared jail after having sex in public... with a SOFA.
Gerard Streator was spotted humping the discarded yellow couch on a street corner in Wisconsin by an off-duty policeman on a late-night jog.
The 47-year-old pleaded guilty to a public lewdness charge on Monday and was handed a five month suspended sentence and placed on probation for a year.
He was also banned from possessing "pornography of any kind" and ordered to pay $243 in court costs.
According to a criminal complaint document, off-duty cop Ryan Edwards, from Waukesha City Police Department, caught Streator in a tryst with the sofa at around 11pm on September 3 last year.
Officer Edwards reported seeing "a subject leaning over the couch facing down and it looked like he was having sexual relations with someone on the couch."
Edwards said he "could see the male's hips thrusting up and down on the couch."
But as he confronted the furniture fornicator, Edwards said Streator jumped off the couch and ran away.
As the suspect fled, the police officer reported that he "could see that the defendant's penis was erect.'"
Edwards "observed that there was no one else on the couch" and believed Streator "had been thrusting his pelvic area against the cushions and trying to sexually gratify himself by rubbing his penis between the two cushions."
The porn ban shouldn't be a problem if he can still get the IKEA catalog.
:shock: :rollin: So the guy liked Sofie, what's the big deal? :lol: Solitary
Quote from: "gussy"The porn ban shouldn't be a problem if he can still get the IKEA catalog.
Post Of The Day!!!! :rollin:
Fuck yo couch.
"furniture fornicator" lol :lol:
For if a man lay with a couch as he would with a woman, he shall surely be put to death, and the couch shall be stoned and burned in fire.
The topic, "couch sex" sounded like someone was going to post some good times about banging his girl on the couch.
The topic appears to be more literal that I realized...
Abortions for couches! Except in the case of rape or incest.. Make the couch ?et probed and have to listen to throw pillow heartbeats.. :shock:
If his weak defense, that couch was asking for it by dressing like a slut.
:rollin:
The comments on this thread are the best I've seen in a while...
There was no throw cover and THAT can mean only ONE thing ladies and gentlemen.. Bareback GAY COUCH SEX! I mean it's obvious gayness leads to bareback couch sex and GOD HATES COUCHES! :evil:
Alright...rattling on again.. Couch stories do that to me.. :oops:
Furnishing is supposed to be ONE sofa and ONE loveseat. That's it.
No sectionals or two-loveseat living rooms. That is wrong and is an abomination.
Quote from: "Mermaid"Furnishing is supposed to be ONE sofa and ONE loveseat. That's it.
No sectionals or two-loveseat living rooms. That is wrong and is an abomination.
What about a Lazy Boy wrapped in real naugahide? .. That's a real manly..err..uhh..a lazy boy wrapped in faux leather.. Hmmmm..
in all fairness the bitch DID ask for it......
hide yo chairs, hide yo couches.
What I want to know is why the couch was not wearing a cover sheet? Everyone knows a man cant control himself if he is allowed to see that sweet, sweet curvature of a coach's body.
Quote from: "Shiranu"sweet, sweet curvature of a coach's body.
I've never been into coaches myself. Or did you mean a stagecoach? Now that's some fine luvin right there...
Quote from: "AllPurposeAtheist"Quote from: "Mermaid"Furnishing is supposed to be ONE sofa and ONE loveseat. That's it.
No sectionals or two-loveseat living rooms. That is wrong and is an abomination.
What about a Lazy Boy wrapped in real naugahide? .. That's a real manly..err..uhh..a lazy boy wrapped in faux leather.. Hmmmm..
That just goes against nature!
Hot, sweaty Naugahide. I remember. Seriously, you make out on a Naugahyde couch on a hot day and it gets all slick and slimy. Weird.
sofa so good
The man is clearly deviant for having sex with a sofa when it's those ottomans you have to watch out for.
I mean, look at you all squat and boxy on the floor. Let's lift the lid and see what's inside. The TV remote and a chili dog. Oh, you little vixen...
Did the couch consent?
How old was this couch?
America just legalized gay marriage. Gay marriage leads to bestiality.
Coincidence?
I. THINK. NOT.
Is it rape if I don't garner the couch's consent before I sit on it?
Quote from: "Sal1981"hide yo chairs, hide yo couches.
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I need a new couch. :cry:
Wait wait wait
Why was he banned from having porn? I don't even
Couch= porn? OMFG. We are all in danger.
You know where this is leading.. Fucking couch fuckers.. :evil:
We need a constitutional amendment..
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I'm surprised I didn't see topless furniture at Comfest..
Quote from: "Johan"Quote from: "gussy"The porn ban shouldn't be a problem if he can still get the IKEA catalog.
Post Of The Day!!!! :rollin:
Yep Yep :rollin:
Maybe send him a subscription to:
http://sofalegcatalog.com/ (http://sofalegcatalog.com/)
:rollin: :rollin: :rollin:
Quote from: "drunkenshoe"Hilarious thread! :rollin:
Now, if I can use a dildo which is just a piece of some material and guys can use a silicon vagina to masturbate...or anyone else any other objects, why a person cannot use a couch to masturbate?
As far as I know this is also some sort of a defined paraphilia and there are also people who perceive objects AND specifically furniture as sexual 'beings'. Why this is a crime.
Forget Ikea, I bet he has subscription to the most expensive Italian and French furniture magazines,lol. Ikea catalogue probably would be like jerking off to walmart catalogue when you can get his hands on to some high quality piece.
I don't think it's so much "he was humping a couch" as it was "he was humping a couch
in public" :P Probably wouldn't be such a problem if he did it indoors.
Unless you live in a "moral" state, in which case anything goes as far as dumb laws.