http://www.salon.com/2013/06/11/the_cro ... t_revenge/ (http://www.salon.com/2013/06/11/the_crotch_shot_revenge/)
QuoteWhen an Internet charmer by the name of Trevor sent a young woman an unsolicited dick pic, she responded with the situational equivalent of, "Would you speak to your mother with that mouth?" That is to say: She sent their correspondence to his mom. Then she posted screen captures of their conversation on her blog, aheartbeatchanged, which is currently down for unexplained reasons, with the warning, "Attention assholes: don't sexually harass a girl when she can easily find you on Facebook and send your mom proof of your perpetuation of rape culture." Then it — both the post and Trevor's "it" — went viral.
It seems to be the year of female Internet vigilantes taking on male misbehavior. Just last week, as Salon's Anna North reported, a woman outed on Facebook a stranger she allegedly overheard boasting about his marital infidelities. Naturally, the post went viral. A couple of months ago, Adria Richards tweeted a photo of men at a tech conference who she claimed were making sexually inappropriate jokes. It too blew up online, and one of the men was fired.
Before you jump to any conclusions about the appropriateness of this young woman's bold move, you have to actually read her alleged exchange with Trevor, whom she met on the app Let's Date. When he allegedly sent the photo their conversation was strictly G-rated. They were literally talking about the weather. "Is it pouring in [sic] Lo g island yet?" he wrote. When she didn't respond, he followed up with a nude mirror selfie (to his ever-so-slight credit it was at least classier than the popular disembodied penis shot).
She made her displeasure clear and he responded with, "You don't like?" and "Too big for ya?" Her response was straightforward: "I didn't need to see that. I don't need to be disrespected by someone I don't know." In true creep form, Trevor told her to "relax," it's "just" his "cock." When she told him to "fuck off" and never message her again, he revealed the full extent of his classiness: "Your a prude," he wrote. A grammar lesson ensued and then she threatened to contact his mom, whom she found via Facebook, to show her "how you treat women." She added, "She should know how you perpetuate rape culture. I am sick of being treated like this."
According to the Daily Dot, the woman in question did indeed contact Trevor's mom — no word as to whether she sent along the actual photo or just screen cap evidence of his textual repartee — but as of yesterday she hadn't received a response. She has, however, received responses of a different sort. Yes, there are lots of women pumping their fists in the air and cheering her on, but her blog has also reportedly been inundated with messages like the following, "If you had/get some good dick (which you obviously haven't/don't) you wouldn't be such a grammar nazi and prude." He really showed her! Once again, Internet jerks respond to a woman calling out jerks by being even bigger jerks.
I would take this opportunity to clarify dick pic etiquette (i.e., don't send it unless solicited, the end), but that would be an awfully naive interpretation of Trevor's alleged antics. I doubt that this is a case of ignorance. Most unsolicited crotch shots are an act of exhibitionism and aggression — something akin to flashing, for cowards. Does it warrant a complaint to the sender's mom? Well, that's up to the recipient — and, as this currently unnamed woman said on her blog, that's a warning. Technology has empowered creeps in countless ways, but it's also given their victims new power.
fuckin tattletale femnazis i swear 2 god
Man, that guy's a DICK!
Haha nice. If you are stupid enough to post a picture of your dick, you are stupid enough to deserve that picture going viral and being sent to your mother.
Good for her, and the other women in the article.
Hah.
The internet... ah what a cruel cruel place [-X
Welcome to the internet lady. If you get your back up over a picture of a penis you might just want to swear off anything that utilizes electrons right now.
I vote we take all the idiots who send unsollicited pics like this and photoshop them into gay porn, then spread their images around the place where they live :)
The sad part is this douche nozzles pic of himself has made him an internet celeb. Or at least a minor one. He very likely sees this whole thing as a net positive for himself. In his mind, he's got internet fame now which he will be able to use to get girls to sleep with him. And what's even more sad is there are girls out there who will actually sleep with him simply because he's that naked pic internet guy.
Yeah, no no don't throw me a ticker tape parade or anything for coming back, I'm fine. Really.
Also, whatever happened to my Name change to "Blurgitty"?
Quote from: "Nonsensei"Welcome to the internet lady. If you get your back up over a picture of a penis you might just want to swear off anything that utilizes electrons right now.
This isn't the internet, it's his phone to hers. There's a difference.
Quote from: "Nonsensei"Welcome to the internet lady. If you get your back up over a picture of a penis you might just want to swear off anything that utilizes electrons right now.
Oh I see, harassment is okay if it's online... it's all the woman's fault!
:roll:
You pays your dollar and you takes your chances.. Plenty of women are doing the exact same thing though, but few men actually complain. I know how utterly offended I feel when some real hot lady sends me pictures of her parts.. OH THE HUMANITY! But then I simply assume it's from some fat slob named Fred living in his grandma's basement then I send him $1000 for a plane ticket.. WRONG!
Quote from: "Nonsensei"Welcome to the internet lady. If you get your back up over a picture of a penis you might just want to swear off anything that utilizes electrons right now.
It is an aggressive, sexually hostile gesture and is not ok.
Quote from: "Colanth"Quote from: "Nonsensei"Welcome to the internet lady. If you get your back up over a picture of a penis you might just want to swear off anything that utilizes electrons right now.
This isn't the internet, it's his phone to hers. There's a difference.
Besides, this is not her fault, he's the dirtbag here. There is no defending that. He totally deserved what he got.
Quote from: "Plu"I vote we take all the idiots who send unsollicited pics like this and photoshop them into gay porn, then spread their images around the place where they live :)
LOL, this.
Quote from: "Mermaid"Besides, this is not her fault, he's the dirtbag here. There is no defending that. He totally deserved what he got.
I agree. Nonsensei is off base here. And, according to the conversation, when she told him to go away, he dissed her some more. He totally earned it. I understand wanting some leg, but, if you expect that to work, you're a moron.
Ahaha! That douche got what he deserved.
He targeted a woman and then sexually harassed her. Shame the fuck out of him and maybe he'll stop cyber-flashing women. lol
To be fair, the app does warn its users about "Mild Sexual Content or Nudity".
Quote from: "Nonsensei"Welcome to the internet lady. If you get your back up over a picture of a penis you might just want to swear off anything that utilizes electrons right now.
So would you be okay with a guy chatting up a woman in a club and suddenly showing her his willy? Would you tell this woman to quit going to clubs?
And don't try to tell me "oh, but that's different", because it's not.
Quote from: "Jason78"To be fair, the app does warn its users about "Mild Sexual Content or Nudity".
Which is okay, as long as the exchange of sexual content or nudity is consensual. In this case it wasn't.
Quote from: "drunkenshoe"I found Valigarmander's confident OP comment 'funnier'. "fuckin tattletale femnazis i swear 2 god".
She doesn't like to be send pics of a penis of some guy to her phone. She takes action to stop it. By a pretty harmless way by the way, telling his mom.
And OP poster defined her as feminazi. FEMINAZI. You are a joke Valigarmander. You are also mentioned in the article.
QuoteOnce again, Internet jerks respond to a woman calling out jerks by being even bigger jerks.
Ahem... Drunkenshoe, I believe Valigarmander's comment was sarcastic; you know, he was just making a parody of those jerks.
Quote from: "DunkleSeele"Quote from: "Jason78"To be fair, the app does warn its users about "Mild Sexual Content or Nudity".
Which is okay, as long as the exchange of sexual content or nudity is consensual. In this case it wasn't.
Then she shouldn't have consented to the terms and conditions if she did not want to be exposed to content described in the terms and conditions.
And have you tried being a guy on a dating site? Men typically outnumber the women there 10 - 1. I don't find it shocking that he tried to find a way to make himself stand out and get noticed.
QuoteThen she shouldn't have consented to the terms and conditions if she did not want to be exposed to content described in the terms and conditions.
I would hope "anyone who feels like it can randomly send you nudes" isn't actually in the terms and conditions... that'd be something else. In fact, I would hope that the
opposite is in the terms and conditions.
Quote from: "Plu"I would hope "anyone who feels like it can randomly send you nudes" isn't actually in the terms and conditions... that'd be something else. In fact, I would hope that the opposite is in the terms and conditions.
Don't take my word for it. Check out the apps website yourself!
Which app is it? It doesn't mention in the article. I'd like to see their terms and conditions :P
Quote from: "Valigarmander"Let's Date
The terms and conditions say it's not allowed to:
Quoteharasses or advocates harassment of another person;
and
Quotedisplays pornographic or sexually explicit material of any kind;
so I'm pretty sure this is not something the girl signed up for in any way or shape.
Quote from: "Jason78"Quote from: "DunkleSeele"Quote from: "Jason78"To be fair, the app does warn its users about "Mild Sexual Content or Nudity".
Which is okay, as long as the exchange of sexual content or nudity is consensual. In this case it wasn't.
Then she shouldn't have consented to the terms and conditions if she did not want to be exposed to content described in the terms and conditions.
And have you tried being a guy on a dating site? Men typically outnumber the women there 10 - 1. I don't find it shocking that he tried to find a way to make himself stand out and get noticed.
I do not find it shocking either. But I do find it very wrong. What I do find shocking, however, is that there are men on a forum such as this who find his actions to be par and she should have expected what she got.
If you think showing women your dick unsolicited is ever going to get you laid, think again. Do you even see the harassment and hostility in his act and in his words to her after she asked him to stop?
QuoteIf you think showing women your dick unsolicited is ever going to get you laid, think again.
I'm pretty sure that'll actually work, if you lower your standards enough. Not on anyone with a functioning brain, but those are rare.
Quote from: "Plu"The terms and conditions say it's not allowed to:
Quoteharasses or advocates harassment of another person;
and
Quotedisplays pornographic or sexually explicit material of any kind;
so I'm pretty sure this is not something the girl signed up for in any way or shape.
I should have looked closer at the app description then. The impression I got from the information I saw was that both parties could expect to be sexually propositioned.
Quote from: "Mermaid"I do not find it shocking either. But I do find it very wrong. What I do find shocking, however, is that there are men on a forum such as this who find his actions to be par and she should have expected what she got.
It was wrong. It was a clumsy and brutish attempt to get noticed.
It's understandable though. And just because I understand why he did what he did does not mean that I in any way condone his actions or subsequent behaviour.
There are men with a varying level of skill when it comes to interacting with members of the opposite sex. It's not just this forum, that's men everywhere.
Quote from: "Mermaid"If you think showing women your dick unsolicited is ever going to get you laid, think again. Do you even see the harassment and hostility in his act and in his words to her after she asked him to stop?
People get hostile when they are rejected. That's just another landmine in the minefield of dating.
Whelp, there go my plans for the weekend.
I will not make a joke.
I will not make a joke.
I will not make a joke.
:Hangman:
Quote from: "Jason78"Quote from: "Mermaid"I do not find it shocking either. But I do find it very wrong. What I do find shocking, however, is that there are men on a forum such as this who find his actions to be par and she should have expected what she got.
It was wrong. It was a clumsy and brutish attempt to get noticed.
It's understandable though. And just because I understand why he did what he did does not mean that I in any way condone his actions or subsequent behaviour.
There are men with a varying level of skill when it comes to interacting with members of the opposite sex. It's not just this forum, that's men everywhere.
Quote from: "Mermaid"If you think showing women your dick unsolicited is ever going to get you laid, think again. Do you even see the harassment and hostility in his act and in his words to her after she asked him to stop?
People get hostile when they are rejected. That's just another landmine in the minefield of dating.
Gratefully married.
Quote from: "Jason78"People get hostile when they are rejected. That's just another landmine in the minefield of dating.
Incorrect. People who are lacking in character and/or have issues respecting women get hostile when they are rejected. Emotionally healthy people and those with ;good character do not get hostile when they are rejected.
And the fact that it happens does not mean that it is acceptable or that anyone should simply expect it. Its time to raise your standards I think.
So, are they going to meet for coffee, or not?
*I'll just add the obligatory women and gay men can become hostile jerks when rejected too*
*And then add the outrage that bisexuals of all genders, lesbians, transgender, transvestites ... *takes breath* ... and not to mention the poor hermaphrodites (don't they get any representation?) where EXCLUDED ABOVE!!!*
And then we can not go there. [-X
As for the OP. Awesome. Got just what he deserved. :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:
Quote from: "Johan"Quote from: "Jason78"People get hostile when they are rejected. That's just another landmine in the minefield of dating.
Incorrect. People who are lacking in character and/or have issues respecting women get hostile when they are rejected. Emotionally healthy people and those with ;good character do not get hostile when they are rejected.
And the fact that it happens does not mean that it is acceptable or that anyone should simply expect it. Its time to raise your standards I think.
If they were emotionally healthy people with good character, then I would not be rejecting them!
It does happen, so you should expect it, not accept it.
Quote from: "Johan"Quote from: "Jason78"People get hostile when they are rejected. That's just another landmine in the minefield of dating.
Incorrect. People who are lacking in character and/or have issues respecting women get hostile when they are rejected. Emotionally healthy people and those with ;good character do not get hostile when they are rejected.
And the fact that it happens does not mean that it is acceptable or that anyone should simply expect it. Its time to raise your standards I think.
Riiiiight. (sarcasm) Cause the world is just chocked FULL of emotionally-stable, healthy people. You bet. Let's check those religion numbers for proof of the emotionally crippled folk world-wide - shall we? Yes - I often check emotionally instability with religious affiliation - wonder why that is?
*evil maniacal laugh*
Of course, Johan, you are not mistaken - but thinking a bit ideal. Hey - I recognize it for sure. No one thinks more ideally than me.
I can tell why some people are single, after reading their posts.
Quote from: "Jason78"If they were emotionally healthy people with good character, then I would not be rejecting them!
Your sole criteria for dating, being in a relationship with or having sex with someone is them being emotionally healthy people with good character? I find that slighty (INFINITELY) hard to believe.
Quote from: "DunkleSeele"Quote from: "Nonsensei"Welcome to the internet lady. If you get your back up over a picture of a penis you might just want to swear off anything that utilizes electrons right now.
So would you be okay with a guy chatting up a woman in a club and suddenly showing her his willy? Would you tell this woman to quit going to clubs?
And don't try to tell me "oh, but that's different", because it's not.
Except it is and you know it. I know a lot of people get their rocks off exploding minor things into huge deals on these forums. I have been guilty of it myself. But this is the internet, not a bar. That was a prank, not psychological warfare. He was an troll, not some would be rapist.
The article in the OP mentions that shameful donglegate incident and compares this to it. The same donglegate in which one man made a joke to another man and a woman who overheard it got him fired for it. Just like in that situation where the woman could have chosen to just tune them out or ignore it or (GOD FORBID) laugh along, the girl in this situation could have even more easily just closed the application.
Instead the reactions were to attempt to destroy the lives of the "offenders". Over something that these women didn't like but which ultimately they would have forgotten about in a couple days if not a couple minutes if they simply moved on.
Yeah, thats what womens power is about. Thats what feminism is about. Crushing men and destroying their lives and/or reputations over some transient indiscretion and justifying that reaction by claiming it was a psychological or sexual assault.
Fuck that shit.
Quote from: "Nonsensei"Quote from: "DunkleSeele"Quote from: "Nonsensei"Welcome to the internet lady. If you get your back up over a picture of a penis you might just want to swear off anything that utilizes electrons right now.
So would you be okay with a guy chatting up a woman in a club and suddenly showing her his willy? Would you tell this woman to quit going to clubs?
And don't try to tell me "oh, but that's different", because it's not.
Except it is and you know it. I know a lot of people get their rocks off exploding minor things into huge deals on these forums. I have been guilty of it myself. But this is the internet, not a bar. That was a prank, not psychological warfare. He was an troll, not some would be rapist.
The article in the OP mentions that shameful donglegate incident and compares this to it. The same donglegate in which one man made a joke to another man and a woman who overheard it got him fired for it. Just like in that situation where the woman could have chosen to just tune them out or ignore it or (GOD FORBID) laugh along, the girl in this situation could have even more easily just closed the application.
Instead the reactions were to attempt to destroy the lives of the "offenders". Over something that these women didn't like but which ultimately they would have forgotten about in a couple days if not a couple minutes if they simply moved on.
Yeah, thats what womens power is about. Thats what feminism is about. Crushing men and destroying their lives and/or reputations over some transient indiscretion and justifying that reaction by claiming it was a psychological or sexual assault.
Fuck that shit.
(//http://i1104.photobucket.com/albums/h321/SabrinaTheInkWitch/2807ffb0.jpg)
Not ALL women or women's 'power'. And not all women who consider themselves feminist. A no.
Extreme moronic, short-sighted, selfish, self absorbed women? Sure. But not all.
common.......
You know better than to make blanket statements like that.
And who was she? The woman who left you with such a lousy opinion of all us women in general? I think it's high time I asked you that. And sorry I haven't asked you before now.
Common - you know for a fact that ALL women who try to protect (or fight for) women's rights are not assholes or idiots. You know some pretty good women from Right here from this forum.
right?
Quote from: "Jmpty"I can tell why some people are single, after reading their posts.
Quoted for truth.
Quote from: "Nonsensei"Yeah, thats what womens power is about. Thats what feminism is about. Crushing men and destroying their lives and/or reputations over some transient indiscretion and justifying that reaction by claiming it was a psychological or sexual assault.
Fuck that shit.
Oh. Oh my God. Really?
Really?
QuoteInstead the reactions were to attempt to destroy the lives of the "offenders". Over something that these women didn't like but which ultimately they would have forgotten about in a couple days if not a couple minutes if they simply moved on.
Yeah, thats what womens power is about. Thats what feminism is about. Crushing men and destroying their lives and/or reputations over some transient indiscretion and justifying that reaction by claiming it was a psychological or sexual assault.
Fuck that shit.
(//http://www.jokeoverflow.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/holy_fucking_shit.jpg)
Fox News is looking for a new anchor, you might wanna put an app. in.
Quote from: "Mermaid"Quote from: "Nonsensei"Yeah, thats what womens power is about. Thats what feminism is about. Crushing men and destroying their lives and/or reputations over some transient indiscretion and justifying that reaction by claiming it was a psychological or sexual assault.
Fuck that shit.
Oh. Oh my God. Really?
Really?
You might have to hold my hand to get me through this.
:shock:
Early in my Air Force career, I heard a story about an AF Academy cadet whose girlfriend announced the end of their relationship by sending him a photo of herself holding another guy's penis. The cadet, annoyed but unfazed, forwarded the photo to her mother.
You gotta think about where incriminating evidence could wind up.
Frank
Quote from: "FrankDK"Early in my Air Force career, I heard a story about an AF Academy cadet whose girlfriend announced the end of their relationship by sending him a photo of herself holding another guy's penis. The cadet, annoyed but unfazed, forwarded the photo to her mother.
You gotta think about where incriminating evidence could wind up.
Frank
See! It proves women just want to destroy men's life!
/snark
To be fair to Nonsensei I'm pretty sure the latter part was sarcasm, and that he was mocking the minority of feminists who feel that way, stating that this is not what women's power and feminism is about.
Quote from: "La Dolce Vita"To be fair to Nonsensei I'm pretty sure the latter part was sarcasm, and that he was mocking the minority of feminists who feel that way, stating that this is not what women's power and feminism is about.
Given his previous posts, I wouldn't put much money on that.
Edit: I thought it was him that argued that WAS the purpose of feminism in a previous thread. If it wasn't, then I apologize.
Quote from: "La Dolce Vita"To be fair to Nonsensei I'm pretty sure the latter part was sarcasm, and that he was mocking the minority of feminists who feel that way, stating that this is not what women's power and feminism is about.
Thanks Vita. Nonsensei has always been way too smart for such thinking in my opinion. That's why I was so surprised when I read that. Thanks.
If you need help understanding feminism I have found this site interesting:
http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com ... wards-men/ (http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/06/03/faq-arent-feminists-just-sexists-towards-men/)
http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com ... -hate-men/ (http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/03/10/faq-why-do-you-feminists-hate-men/)
[Edit: ooh people were being sarcastic, bastards! :-D I will leave the links because I did find them interesting and maybe others will too.]
And that guy in the OP got what he deserved, because he was a turd.
Quote from: "La Dolce Vita"To be fair to Nonsensei I'm pretty sure the latter part was sarcasm, and that he was mocking the minority of feminists who feel that way, stating that this is not what women's power and feminism is about.
If that is the case, my sincere apologies. I am new to the forum and don't know people very well.
Quote from: "Jason78"If they were emotionally healthy people with good character, then I would not be rejecting them!
If you really believe that, then you've got a LOT to learn about relationships and what makes any two people a good match for one another.
QuoteIt does happen, so you should expect it, not accept it.
If you say so. Next time someone you love gets raped, take that you should expect it, not accept it attitude with them and see how it works out for you. This was an unsolicited sexual advance. No it wasn't rape. But I can assure you if this douche nozzle had decided to show himself naked in the flesh to some woman in a bar, he would have ended up arrested and rightly so. The fact that he did it on a website DOES NOT CHANGE ANYTHING. Read that last bit over and over until it makes sense to you.
Guys a punk with no common sense or decency. Based on his disgusting behavior which more than likely is a reflection of his upbringing, his mother probably got a good laugh out of the whole episode.
Quotethe girl in this situation could have even more easily just closed the application.
So basically you are saying that because some guy decides to harass her, she should just leave the application that she apparently enjoys using except for user douchenozzle? Would you tell people to go to a different bar from the one they've been visiting the past year just because some creep keeps hitting on them as well? Or would you say the problem lies with the creep?
For the record, she
did tell the guy to leave her alone before going public with the picture. The picture was just the end of her being interested in talking to him. The
continued harassment was the reason she took things a step further. This isn't just some woman being offended by a guy sending a picture of his dick, this is a woman who is being harassed by some douchebag.
Quote from: "Nonsensei"Quote from: "DunkleSeele"Quote from: "Nonsensei"Welcome to the internet lady. If you get your back up over a picture of a penis you might just want to swear off anything that utilizes electrons right now.
So would you be okay with a guy chatting up a woman in a club and suddenly showing her his willy? Would you tell this woman to quit going to clubs?
And don't try to tell me "oh, but that's different", because it's not.
Except it is and you know it. I know a lot of people get their rocks off exploding minor things into huge deals on these forums. I have been guilty of it myself. But this is the internet, not a bar. That was a prank, not psychological warfare. He was an troll, not some would be rapist.
The article in the OP mentions that shameful donglegate incident and compares this to it. The same donglegate in which one man made a joke to another man and a woman who overheard it got him fired for it. Just like in that situation where the woman could have chosen to just tune them out or ignore it or (GOD FORBID) laugh along, the girl in this situation could have even more easily just closed the application.
Instead the reactions were to attempt to destroy the lives of the "offenders". Over something that these women didn't like but which ultimately they would have forgotten about in a couple days if not a couple minutes if they simply moved on.
Yeah, thats what womens power is about. Thats what feminism is about. Crushing men and destroying their lives and/or reputations over some transient indiscretion and justifying that reaction by claiming it was a psychological or sexual assault.
Fuck that shit.
Bollocks. It isn't any different, showing your willy to a woman without her permission to do so is not a prank, is being a fucking douchebag, whether it is in real life or over the internet. And the douchebag kept insulting and harassing her when she rightfully expressed her annoyance. This is sexual harassment, plain and simple, and can't be accepted or condoned.
And as for your oh so insightful "she could have closed the app" comment: do you leave this forum everytime a troll shows up? No? I thought so.
Look, I agree with the fact that
some women/feminists cry "harassment" too easily and are, basically, bringing things too far. But this particular case is very clear: the guy was a douchebag, the girl was perfectly right to be annoyed by his behaviour and reacted accordingly. Kudos to her.
Quote from: "La Dolce Vita"Your sole criteria for dating, being in a relationship with or having sex with someone is them being emotionally healthy people with good character? I find that slighty (INFINITELY) hard to believe.
It's not my sole criteria. It's Johans criteria.
Quote from: "Johan"Emotionally healthy people and those with ;good character do not get hostile when they are rejected.
See above.
I'm guessing the basic idea is that anyone who isn't emotionally stable and good of character should not be someone you should bother with. It might not be the only criteria, but it is a required criteria.
Quote from: "Johan"Quote from: "Jason78"If they were emotionally healthy people with good character, then I would not be rejecting them!
If you really believe that, then you've got a LOT to learn about relationships and what makes any two people a good match for one another.
I was pointing out the absurdity of your suggesting that the way to avoid a hostile reaction from rejecting people who are lacking in character was to raise my standards. I already have acceptable standards and someone that act with hostility towards me because of rejection would not meet them. Unfortunately, there's no way to tell who's going to be an arsehole until you meet someone and interact. Then if they don't meet your standards, you will end up rejecting them.
Quote from: "Johan"QuoteIt does happen, so you should expect it, not accept it.
If you say so. Next time someone you love gets raped, take that you should expect it, not accept it attitude with them and see how it works out for you.
It does happen and if you use dating apps like that then it's going to happen. You should be aware of what goes on so that you can prepare and protect yourself.
For example, if someone posted a thinly veiled threat about raping my loved ones, I'd make sure my loved ones had a rape alarm and pepper spray.
Quote from: "Johan"This was an unsolicited sexual advance. No it wasn't rape. But I can assure you if this douche nozzle had decided to show himself naked in the flesh to some woman in a bar, he would have ended up arrested and rightly so.
I agree with all of the above quote. Although I have seen a guy get his cock out in a bar, and everyone just laughed. I've seen a woman get her boobs out in a bar as well and everyone cheered.
Quote from: "Johan"The fact that he did it on a website DOES NOT CHANGE ANYTHING. Read that last bit over and over until it makes sense to you.
I don't agree with this bit. A picture of a gun is not the same as waving a gun around in a bar.
Quote from: "Plu"I'm guessing the basic idea is that anyone who isn't emotionally stable and good of character should not be someone you should bother with. It might not be the only criteria, but it is a required criteria.
How do you tell who that's going to be? Obviously if it were possible to spot a douchebag before they acted like a douchebag then the woman in the OP wouldn't have had to deal with that guy in the first place.
You won't be able to tell on first interaction, usually. So if they immediately start acting like a douche from the word 'go' you're kinda stuck with it. Generally it's easy enough to ignore them at this point, though.
Often it kinda shows after a few minutes of interaction if someone is going to be a douche. That's usually long before you get to the point where someone can be 'rejected' by simply not talking to them anymore.
Of course, take my advice at your own peril. I have very high standards for people I deal with.
Quote from: "Jason78"Quote from: "Johan"Quote from: "Jason78"If they were emotionally healthy people with good character, then I would not be rejecting them!
If you really believe that, then you've got a LOT to learn about relationships and what makes any two people a good match for one another.
I was pointing out the absurdity of your suggesting that the way to avoid a hostile reaction from rejecting people who are lacking in character was to raise my standards.
Avoiding hostile rejections is not why I suggested you raise your standards and nothing I've written indicates that I think doing one will get you the other. I suggested you raise your standards because doing so would cause you to end up losing that 'what's the big deal? It happens so you just expect it and accept it. Its hard out there for guys and girls should just relax about it' attitude you've got. I suggested it because I think better things would happen for you down the road if you lost that attitude. Just a suggestion based on my own life experience. Take it or leave it. But don't read more into it than what's there.
Quote from: "Johan"Avoiding hostile rejections is not why I suggested you raise your standards and nothing I've written indicates that I think doing one will get you the other. I suggested you raise your standards because doing so would cause you to end up losing that 'what's the big deal? It happens so you just expect it and accept it. Its hard out there for guys and girls should just relax about it' attitude you've got. I suggested it because I think better things would happen for you down the road if you lost that attitude. Just a suggestion based on my own life experience. Take it or leave it. But don't read more into it than what's there.
To me that gets into personal choice and style. Some will often say "meh - just accept it" (aka don't let it bother you) while some will have higher expectations and certain things will bother them. I see both attitudes as useful. Its good to have part of society go "meh - whatever" because we don't want every single person out there being manic day in and day out. BUT its good to have people who'll be bothered and hold higher standards/expect/want more.....cause that sort always pushes the envelop.
To me
you are both right.
:)
Oh my favorite Witch, I didn't know you were a politician that is smarter than the average. =D> Solitary
Quote from: "La Dolce Vita"To be fair to Nonsensei I'm pretty sure the latter part was sarcasm, and that he was mocking the minority of feminists who feel that way, stating that this is not what women's power and feminism is about.
Well its a relief someone took that the way i intended it. I supposed I should have added some emoticons. Probably could have worded it better too. As you said there are a minority of feminists who feel that way. But theres no greater tool for making a minority seem like the majority than the internet. Its a lot like Islam in that way I guess. The people blowing up buildings get noticed.
Still, I do actually feel that this guy didn't quite deserve what he got simply because she could have instantly ended the conversation. Instead she lingered in a situation she supposedly didn't want to be a part of and attempted to tell him off. In any other situation on the internet this would be what is known as feeding the troll.
Yeah, I guess I feel this way precisely because this happened on the internet. Its just not quite the same as a guy whipping his dick out in person. You browse the internet for any extended amount of time and you will inadvertently see a penis. Thats just the way it is.
Whenever I evaluate these situations I usually like to reverse the genders. What happens if a girl thrusts her vagina at the camera and the offended guy tells her mom? Maybe the same thing happens. But maybe the guy gets some flak too, either for not being enough of a dudebro and acting like he liked what he saw "what are you bro, gay?" or perhaps being accused of somehow soliciting it because a girl would never do that. The young woman in this article got a mix of support and detraction for what she did, but if the genders were reversed I doubt the guy would have any support at all.
In the end I think its a whole lot of rigmarole for something that could quite easily have been ignored. I have very little sympathy for people whose sensibilities are affronted and nothing more. Show me some tangible lasting harm and I will start to give a shit.
I was also annoyed at the article in the OP for mentioning that fucking absurdity involving Adria Richards at the tech conference as though it were another shining example of feminists standing up to the male oppressors. I thought donglegate was a horrible excercise in overbearing zealotry which resulted in a man with three kids losing his job for some minor social infraction not even directed at or intended for the "offended" party.
Seeing that the author of the article considered this incident to be comparable to donglegate put me in a bias against it right off the bat.
It might be different because its on the net to you. But if I had a daughter, I'm pretty sure I would be just as ready to track down and seriously harm any dude who showed my daughter his junk unsolicited in person as I would if he did it over the net in a private chat session.
Searching for a new blender on craigslist? Sure, you should expect to click on the occasional ad and end up seeing a pic of some dudes junk. In a private one on one chat? No sir. It every bit as much of a disrespectful violation on the net as it is in person under those conditions.
Violence for showing your daughter his penis? Why? Because she's a weak pathetic woman that can't handle anything or stand up for herself. Seriously, can we stop this? I find the daughter protection quite sick, and utterly disrespectful to every woman on earth. Sorry, but this woman stood up for herself just fine, and she never had to result to any violence. Why violence? I'm hoping your just using hyperbole, cause fuck violent punishment for non-violent crimes!
And come on now, social conventions aside, bodies and body parts aren't dangerous. Not that I personally want nudists everywhere, but if we toss away current social rules there's no logical reason why not. Fear of genetelia is just really, really silly.
The guy in question here was a rude abusive ass though, and I'm glad he got served.
Quote from: "Johan"It might be different because its on the net to you. But if I had a daughter, I'm pretty sure I would be just as ready to track down and seriously harm any dude who showed my daughter his junk unsolicited in person as I would if he did it over the net in a private chat session.
Sorry but that makes you sound like a bit of a psycho. If some adware redirects your daughter to a live porn session with a guy showing his junk are you gonna go track down the guy who wrote the adware and beat the shit out of him? The internet is not real life. I don't care what your method of interface is. Its just images on a screen be it real time or recorded.
Quote from: "Johan"Searching for a new blender on craigslist? Sure, you should expect to click on the occasional ad and end up seeing a pic of some dudes junk. In a private one on one chat? No sir. It every bit as much of a disrespectful violation on the net as it is in person under those conditions.
I can't agree. It just isn't the same. First of all there is absolutely no threat whatsoever. That alone is an enormous difference. The problem with whipping your dick out in public is that people become worried about what you're going to use it for. Don't have to give a shit about that in the safety of your own home. The technology to rape via monitor hasn't been invented yet so we are still in the clear. Second, as I've said plenty of times now, its a thousand times easier to click an X and end the encounter than it is to simply walk away in person. After all he could follow you in person, but not on the internet.
In the end you're looking at a live feed of someones dick. A live feed you can terminate at will and which is of no real threat to anything but your sensibilities and, as ive stated before, I don't give a fuck about peoples sensibilities unless they are tied to real lasting harm. Your fictional reaction seems like coddling to me and is overbearing.
Quote from: "Nonsensei"Sorry but that makes you sound like a bit of a psycho. If some adware redirects your daughter to a live porn session with a guy showing his junk are you gonna go track down the guy who wrote the adware and beat the shit out of him?
Of course not. That would be ridiculous. I think you need to pay close attention to the words I used in my post because I used those words for a reason. I said that I'd be ready to track the guy down and hurt him. I didn't say that I would. I know that its reasonable to assume from what I wrote that I would actually go hurt the guy, but that's not the case. Though I didn't make it nearly clear enough in my post, what I meant was that I would be mad enough to want to track the guy down and hurt him. I doubt I would ever do it because there is no real upside in it. But I'd want to none the less.
QuoteI can't agree. It just isn't the same. First of all there is absolutely no threat whatsoever.
A threat is not required for one to feel violated. I've had many careers, truck driving among them. Once way back when I was driving out on Long Island. I had made a delivery or pickup (don't recall which) in a small town half way out on the island. I left the stop and got on the highway heading home. It was a weekend morning and there was very little traffic. I'm running along and I see a car roll up behind me, move to the passing lane and start to over take me. I see the car rolling up along side the trailer in my mirror. Then out of the corner of my eye I see its right next to me. Then I notice it isn't passing me anymore, rather its rolling along right next to my door at the same speed I'm going. So I turn my head and look down at the car. Because I'm in a truck and trucks sit up higher than cars, I'm looking down at his vehicle. I can't see the driver's face but I can see his lower body. And therefore I can see that this person is rolling along right beside me holding the wheel with one hand and stroking his erect dick with the other. He is driving right next to me because he obviously wants me to see this.
Now I ask you, was there any threat to me in that situation? Of course not. But I double dog dare you to try and tell me that I should have expected it or that I'm wrong to feel violated because of what that asshole did. You might convince yourself but you won't convince me. Disrespect is disrespect. Period. Threat or no threat. Internet or live. It is someone victimizing someone else and it is unacceptable.