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News & General Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: aitm on February 24, 2016, 07:55:47 AM

Title: Close Calls
Post by: aitm on February 24, 2016, 07:55:47 AM
Driving to work this morning listening to Billy Joel's Piano Man and the brain said yes that I did indeed know a Davy who was in the Navy but I never new a John who was a bartender, which got the mind to make my mouth smile at all the fun I have had and if I died tomorrow I would....remember that time when you almost died....and off it goes into remembering the close calls...so maybe we can entertain ourselves with some laughs or maybe an oooh-ahhh.

I had just started Cub Scouts and we were learning about First Aid and applying tourniquets. So, it became obvious to me, and indeed it would to you as well, were you as clever as I was, that if one applied a tourniquet at your elbow, you could indeed insert a fork into a outlet to discover what electricity felt like. I have since discovered that it feels quite the same whether tourniquet is applied or not. If you have not done the experiment yourself, you may accept at my word that it feels very much like a bee sting multiplied by 100 and rather mind frizzling as well because it pretty much eliminates any and all mental activity. You are welcome
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: Gawdzilla Sama on February 24, 2016, 08:02:22 AM
You can also here Nicola Tesla singing in the shower.
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: stromboli on February 24, 2016, 11:05:06 AM
all I will say is I've had to regrow my eyebrows a few times.
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: SGOS on February 24, 2016, 11:26:20 AM
I'm going to take your word for it this time.
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: Sargon The Grape on February 24, 2016, 11:29:19 AM
Quote from: stromboli on February 24, 2016, 11:05:06 AM
all I will say is I've had to regrow my eyebrows a few times.
I read that as "eyeballs" at first and had a completely different image form in my mind.
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: chill98 on February 24, 2016, 12:29:43 PM
Quote from: aitm on February 24, 2016, 07:55:47 AM
So, it became obvious to me, and indeed it would to you as well, were you as clever as I was, that if one applied a tourniquet at your elbow, you could indeed insert a fork into a outlet to discover what electricity felt like. I have since discovered that it feels quite the same whether tourniquet is applied or not.
Did you end up on the ground?

Reminded me of watching a classmate, bored with the teachers lecture and fiddling with her pencil.

Before I could shout Noooo--  yep, she stuck the end of the pencil into the outlet.  Bzzzt!

And I laughed so hard I cried.  Still laughing now. 
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: Baruch on February 24, 2016, 12:32:35 PM
Glad you are OK.
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: aitm on February 24, 2016, 12:45:16 PM
Quote from: chill98 on February 24, 2016, 12:29:43 PM
Did you end up on the ground?
Luckily instead sitting on my knees as I was wont to do, I leaned over and the muscular reaction jacked up the longer leg and dropped me to one side.....but yeah, when you think back...oh so close.
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: chill98 on February 24, 2016, 12:45:29 PM
Quote from: stromboli on February 24, 2016, 11:05:06 AM
all I will say is I've had to regrow my eyebrows a few times.

I didn't have to regrow eyebrows but mine involved a bic lighter, can of butane and a misguided air of confidence in my ability beat the system.
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: drunkenshoe on February 24, 2016, 01:31:28 PM
Brrrr. Man.

Never had a close call yet.
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: stromboli on February 24, 2016, 01:44:58 PM
My life has been a series of experiments with gunpowder, flammables, electricity- I did the fork thing- 3.5 years of running into burning buildings- that kind of shit. If you ever had a black powder rifle discharge with a blocked wad/ball combination and blow the percussion cap off, you get my drift. I have a long category of  "shit happened" in my memoirs, should I decide to write them. PS; if you are accident prone avoid black powder weapons. Especially flintlocks.

Oh yeah. Riding dirt bikes in the desert. Another category of "shit happens".
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: Munch on February 24, 2016, 02:35:25 PM
I've been though all the classic ones. As I kid I thought sticking a knife I was holding in a power outlet would be fun, until it sent a surge up my arm and I learned pain was a good teacher. I developed an infectious growth at the base of my spine when I was a teenager and had to be operated on to remove it, and spent months after having it treated, teaching me the lesson that telling someone about weird sensations in my body early is a smarter thing to do.
And of course I learned how it felt to be in a car accident, a bad one, when my dad drove his car out from a carpark into a busy road and didn't see the other car coming, remembering the sounds of my parents and me screaming, the impact, the car flipping on its side for a moment before crashing back down, and my head impacting the dash board, teaching me that the moment I get into any car, don't fucking wait to put on your seat belt, do it right away.
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: stromboli on February 24, 2016, 02:37:45 PM
Quote from: Munch on February 24, 2016, 02:35:25 PM
I've been though all the classic ones. As I kid I thought sticking a knife I was holding in a power outlet would be fun, until it sent a surge up my arm and I learned pain was a good teacher. I developed an infectious growth at the base of my spine when I was a teenager and had to be operated on to remove it, and spent months after having it treated, teaching me the lesson that telling someone about weird sensations in my body early is a smarter thing to do.
And of course I learned how it felt to be in a car accident, a bad one, when my dad drove his car out from a carpark into a busy road and didn't see the other car coming, remembering the sounds of my parents and me screaming, the impact, the car flipping on its side for a moment before crashing back down, and my head impacting the dash board, teaching me that the moment I get into any car, don't fucking wait to put on your seat belt, do it right away.


Yup.
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: kilodelta on February 24, 2016, 03:21:58 PM
Don't ride with someone who is stoned... and don't accept their statement about the swerving being due to "something is wrong with the car."
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: stromboli on February 24, 2016, 09:37:25 PM
Quote from: kilodelta on February 24, 2016, 03:21:58 PM
Don't ride with someone who is stoned... and don't accept their statement about the swerving being due to "something is wrong with the car."

Thereby hangs a story........

Once in the Navy, four of us in a van were smoking as we drove. (This is the 70's deal with it). Anyway we pulled into a gas station to get some matches. Passenger side front passenger (PSF) is holding a joint. Goes to pass off the joint and get out, but a guy walks up to the window and asks what we wanted. PSF : "oh, we need a light". He whips out his lighter, PSF puts the joint in his mouth, the guy lights it and we drive off. Walking away the guy suddenly stops and spins around. Close call. Carry on.
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: aitm on February 25, 2016, 05:52:34 PM
1987, I owned a small masonry company in Melbourne Fl, had a crew of five on a Friday morning to lay the second floor of a house on the beach. It had rained hard that night. The contractor has the floor joist installed and decking and all of it was braced very well with floor jacks cause we had about 12 tons of block sitting on top.

Waiting for the masonry sand to arrive, we checked out the shoring and had a couple ciggies talking about what we were doing tonight after work. the wind changed slightly and we got a nose full of bacon from the little store across the road. "Lets' get some breakfast" 10 yards out of building the entire thing collapsed.

We stood very quietly, I looked at one of the laborers, "Bobo, when does the bar open at the Inn"
"Not for another hour at least"
I gave him a twenty, "go get us a case then and we will go there and wait."

And we did, drank till noon, went home.

But Monday came and not one of them went to church, (good catlics too) but we all talked about getting laid that weekend.

I still can feel the rush of wind , the blast of sand and the sound, you would think there would be some cracking and a type of delayed response as some jacks would last longer than the others, but no, it just went, WHOOM! and the blast of sand to the back of our head.
Title: Re: Close Calls
Post by: Baruch on February 25, 2016, 06:01:48 PM
When I was 17, I was doing roofing work on a new apartment complex with my best friend.  We had set up a simple pulley hoist on top, so that one could load at the bottom and pull it up, and the other could unload.  About four floors up.  We traded places, he came down, I went up ... and when I got there, the hoist was gone.  I looked over the side, to see what had happened ... and there it was, on the ground next to him.  The other construction workers had unbolted the hoist from the roof, and when he pulled on it, with a load, the hoist came over the side and down at him.  Missed by inches.  Those were the days!