QuoteThe findings are sure to pile further pressure on the ailing religious organisation, just days after their Chief Executive resigned citing ‘personal reasons’ and ‘being a bit old’.
The news will concern billions of Catholic consumers, previously led to believe they were consuming Christ himself each Sunday morning during mass.
Catholic Simon Williams told us, “So what have I been eating all these years? It’s not horse again is it?â€
“It’s always had a funny taste that I couldn’t quite place. But having been a choir boy in the catholic church I grew up being told by priests that putting strange things in my mouth was the done thing.â€
“That said, with the amount of cash I’m encouraged to put in the collection plate on a Sunday morning I can’t believe they’re scrimping on the ingredients.â€
“You’ll be telling me next that the stuff they dip the wafer in isn’t actually blood.â€
http://newsthump.com/2013/03/03/vatican-reeling-as-dna-tests-show-communion-wafers-contain-0-christ/
:rotflmao:
That's just not possible. Run the DNA test again!
Put "The Logical One" in charge…i am sure he can get two out of one and seven.
Quote from: kilodelta on March 29, 2015, 07:15:09 PM
That's just not possible. Run the DNA test again!
It might be homeopathic... only containing .0001% christ. Maybe their dna checker doesn't display that far in decimals
I demand consuming the actual Christ! I don't want to be consuming moses or that prick paul!
I.. I don't... how.. I...
(http://www.contestofchampions.net/images/responseimages/daffyduckvsdonaldduck/1249634361_daffy_duck.gif)
I think my brain just dissolved..
by galactus crotch.. I've seem some reports before of the amusing things Christians believe, but..
There are not enough Picard facepalms on the net to cover this one..
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT2ZxtSMij7kp7klaCcOdXM4Kj2pJFhqHMKVhJbTHmZqCuxIMMUnQ)
Quote from: Munch on March 29, 2015, 08:27:49 PM
I.. I don't... how.. I...
(http://www.contestofchampions.net/images/responseimages/daffyduckvsdonaldduck/1249634361_daffy_duck.gif)
I think my brain just dissolved..
by galactus crotch.. I've seem some reports before of the amusing things Christians believe, but..
There are not enough Picard facepalms on the net to cover this one..
Munch, It's satire, did you click the link? or just read the quote?
They went gluten free. God was in the gluten. :doh:
Quote from: PickelledEggs on March 29, 2015, 09:18:24 PM
Munch, It's satire, did you click the link? or just read the quote?
I guessed it was satire. But let's admit, sometimes it's hard to tell.
Does anyone ever read the ingredients list on the box those wafers come in?
Where these crazy cathaholics are concerned sometimes you just cant tell the Satire from the true Bullshitt....
Yeah I was raised catholic and as a kid I can tell you that we were taught that the wafer is the body and wine is the blood of Christ. I just took it to mean Christ was made out of bread and wine.
I think a true Communion would pass out chunks of heavily crusted broken bread that came out of a brick kiln, not something I used to feed my goldfish.
So we can no longer call Catholics "God-eating cannibals"?
Drat!
Quote from: Mr.Obvious on March 30, 2015, 06:37:49 AM
I guessed it was satire. But let's admit, sometimes it's hard to tell.
I'll be honest, I just read the post, and tbh like you say, this is something I could honestly believe Christians and Catholics would find true.
It IS what they teach!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transubstantiation
Transubstantiation (in Latin, transsubstantiatio, in Greek μεÏ,,οÏ...σίωσιÏ, metousiosis) is the change whereby, according to the teaching of the Catholic Church, the bread and the wine used in the sacrament of the Eucharist become, not merely as by a sign or a figure, but also in actual reality the body and blood of Christ.[1][2] The Catholic Church teaches that the substance or reality of the bread is changed into that of the body of Christ and the substance of the wine into that of his blood,[3] while all that is accessible to the senses (the outward appearances - species[4][5][6] in Latin) remains unchanged.[7][8] What remains unaltered is also referred to as the "accidents" of the bread and wine,[9] but this term is not used in the official definition of the doctrine by the Council of Trent.[10] The manner in which the change occurs, the Catholic Church teaches, is a mystery: "The signs of bread and wine become, in a way surpassing understanding, the Body and Blood of Christ."[11]
Quote from: Solomon Zorn on April 02, 2015, 10:19:57 AM
The manner in which the change occurs, the Catholic Church teaches, is a mystery: "The signs of bread and wine become, in a way surpassing understanding, the Body and Blood of Christ."
I have sea front property in Florida for sale, People.
"I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus"
Quote from: Solomon Zorn on April 02, 2015, 10:19:57 AM
It IS what they teach!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transubstantiation
Transubstantiation (in Latin, transsubstantiatio, in Greek μεÏ,,οÏ...σίωσιÏ, metousiosis) is the change whereby, according to the teaching of the Catholic Church, the bread and the wine used in the sacrament of the Eucharist become, not merely as by a sign or a figure, but also in actual reality the body and blood of Christ.[1][2] The Catholic Church teaches that the substance or reality of the bread is changed into that of the body of Christ and the substance of the wine into that of his blood,[3] while all that is accessible to the senses (the outward appearances - species[4][5][6] in Latin) remains unchanged.[7][8] What remains unaltered is also referred to as the "accidents" of the bread and wine,[9] but this term is not used in the official definition of the doctrine by the Council of Trent.[10] The manner in which the change occurs, the Catholic Church teaches, is a mystery: "The signs of bread and wine become, in a way surpassing understanding, the Body and Blood of Christ."[11]
As a child my family attended a Methodist church and they believe in transubstantiation. It was crackers and grape juice to me. I always thought it was a weird practice and didn't understand why anyone would want to eat someone's flesh and blood. I don't really understand Christianity at all. Since Easter is upon us, I confess I don't even really understand the significance of the crucifixion and resurrection.
Quote from: GSOgymrat on April 02, 2015, 02:31:02 PM
I always thought it was a weird practice and didn't understand why anyone would want to eat someone's flesh and blood.
I'm going guess that eating flesh and drinking blood was being done is some pagan circles, and Christianity hijacked it, as they did most of their other stuff.
Uhhh, sorry folks, but the actual body of Christ is now served on delicious Chucky Jesus's Pizza.
(http://i1160.photobucket.com/albums/q490/atheola/tumblr_m813tf1Dcs1r6f0d9o1_1280%201.jpg)
Okay, God is pizza is something I can relate to.
I wonder if the bird droppings are extra..
Actually, bird droppings are a lot extra because they've gone green with them. So, that means no cages. In other words, they have to rely on luck that wild birds would hit the pizza.
Quote from: Munch on March 29, 2015, 08:27:49 PMThere are not enough Picard facepalms on the net to cover this one..
Oh ye of little faith:
(http://republicanhour.com/wp-content/plugins/akismet/epic-facepalm-text-i3.jpg)