http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/06/01/texas-pastor-matthew-hagee-ends-global-warming-debate-video_n_5427843.html?utm_hp_ref=uk
QuoteNEW YORK -- The debate about global warming is over. A Texas pastor has come up with a watertight theory that will shame the swathe of scientists that have concluded, through precise calculations and years of theoretical modelling, that the rise in the earth’s average temperature is a result of increasing concentrations of greenhouse gases.
Rather than man-made carbon emissions, global warming is in fact due to… the imminent return of Jesus. How did the scientists miss it? Speaking to his flock in a recent TV broadcast, Matthew Hagee explains that when scientists contradict the world of God, "God’s word is accurate and men are wrong".
As such, Hagee asserts that any changing weather patterns experienced by his sheeply viewers are not a sign of human activity leading to a warming of the atmosphere, reductions in ice and changes to the global water cycle, but simply a welcome mat for a beardy guy that died 2,000 years ago in the Middle East.
As the pastor explains: "The Bible says that whenever we approach the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ that there would be strange weather patterns. Jesus said this in Matthew the twenty-fifth chapter.
"So we have a decision to make: do we believe what an environmentalist group says and choose to live in a world where we're attempting to make everything as clean in the air as possible, or do we believe what the Bible says, that these things were going to happen and that rather than try to clean up all of the air and solve all of the problems of the world by eliminating factories, we should start to tell people about Jesus Christ who is to return?"
So… put down that recycling bin and pick up that Bible!
We are done. the science is refuted, the thousands of peer reviewed documents, the decades of information gathering- done.
Jesus is coming. :doh:
To bad he'll die from an athsma attack before they get a chance to renail him to the cross. All the good trees will be dead.
In the future churches will have big inhalers on top. :eek:
I have some crap that he can turn in to chocolate when he comes
That'll be a song someday how Jayzez tarnt poop inta choclit! :biggrin:
From Texas. That is double dog downtown irrefutable, right there.
It takes a special kind of religiosity to not only discount global warming, but argue that we shouldn't even try to protect the environment and should instead proselyte for Jesus (which at this stage, is sorta like telling people about the Beatles. We hit peak Jesus years ago)
The really sad thing is that if this was from some other source, I would swear that it was some sort of satire. How do you even make fun of something like this? It's unparodyable.
It's just playing to the audience that thinks any form of progress without disaster is wrong.
Drought+gaynadoes= Jesus is coming.
Jesus isn't coming. He's just breathing hard.
Quote from: AllPurposeAtheist on June 01, 2014, 09:52:52 PM
Jesus isn't coming. He's just breathing hard.
Well that's good. I would hate for us to have to clean up his mess afterwards...
I just gave my shoe a sobriety test... Turns out I didn't spill that beer exactly where I thought. I didn't travel far enough down my leg.
Note: I just had to piss you off for no good reason. :lol:
Oh yes I can. Don't think I can't be the ultimate asshole. You know I can!
But you're still my favorite unamerican sexy woman. :lol:
As long as we have an understanding. Asshole, yes. Piss you off, no, anti American, yes, Unamerican.. meh.. you're Turkish so it doesn't count. lol
Ok, you're a sweetheart, I'm the devil and I back all US policy unconditionally. FUCK! I've been had! :eek:
I have to admit that I don't always get everything you say, but yeah..it's pretty much a waste of brain space some times.. but you make us Merkins think some times.
Well, this thread got off track in a hurry. :biggrin: