My elderly mother came to live with me several years ago. At least a couple times a month she had to shoo away J. Witnesses and others who arrived at my house to "spread the good news" while I was at work. This led me to (with all do respect to the Five Man Electrical Band) get a nice all-weather metal sign stating "Private Property. No Religious Soliciting". In the middle is the prohibition graphic of a Bible within a circle with a diagonal slash through it. I placed it out at the end of my driveway. This has totally done the trick in keeping away the undesirables.
Anyone else had to resort to something similar?
I haven't, oddly enough. My house is right off the highway and we usually get a lot of people knocking on our door, but mostly it's to ask for directions or help because they're broken down on the highway.(it happens a lot less now that most people have cell phones)
There was only one person that I ever remember soliciting and it was to solicit info for solar powering the community... which my mom and I actually really appreciated.
They no longer show up at my house. That's because I asked them if they are going to Valhalla or Hel after they die. I asked them if they will be fighting on the side of Odin AllFather and the Gods and the honored dead, or on the side of Loki and the Giants and the dishonored dead.
They were awfully confused by my questions.
I just tell them I am a minion of the Lord High Beelzebub and if they don't leve immediately I will possess their children even unto the 4 the generation. If you have a rooster head, that helps.
If you live near a middle eastern community sometimes they have food markets that have whole dead skinned goats in the butcher section. I say buy one. Cut the head off and answers the door with its head in your hand. If it scared me, it will scare them
Just say you're in the middle of a ceremony. They'll understand.
Sent via your mom.
When the JWs figured out what I was talking about (and it did take them a while) they said "Oh, that's mythology."
I responded by informing them that ALL religious text was mythology, and the question to be asked is which mythology - if any - is true.
They were very offended by that and insisted that they weren't talking about mythology but were talking about the bible. Huh?
I always ask if they worship the god who is totally into human sacrifice.
Then they say: "no, we worship the god of jebus!"
I prefer to take the high road in this kind of thing:
I have the JWs stop by about every other year. I live in the country and houses are too far apart for them to obtain a high rate of salvation per gallon. I take their literature and they are on their way. Never had a discussion with them in the last 10 years. The Baptists must keep them in line and consequently the JWs don't push that hard around here.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on May 31, 2014, 07:33:35 AM
I prefer to take the high road in this kind of thing:
I so totally want that sign.
I must admit that the first few weeks after I put up the sign, I half expected either to wake up and find someone had stolen it or that someone would complain to our homeowners association because they were offended by the Bible-prohibited graphic. Pleasantly surprised that neither has occurred.
I had a couple of them show up at my door (with a child and that really bugs me) saying they had a message from god for me.
I asked them if it was an important message and of course they said yes so I then asked them why didn't god deliver it himself?
They just looked so confused. What are they going to say? That the omnipotent master of all space and time was busy? Lol
I told them I didn't want to deal with any middle men and asked them not to come back. Haven't seen them since.
I hit on a couple of male missionaries. They didn't come back...
Tell them you have been "disfellowshipped" and you will be forever shunned and blacklisted by JWs. I don't think I have the balls to try it, but my husband does.
Quote from: stromboli on May 31, 2014, 10:40:45 AM
I so totally want that sign.
Print it out. I put mine in a document protector sleeve and tape it to the window next the target full of holes.
I wouldn't have a sign like that in my yard because it just seems inhospitable. When evangelists come to my door I try to be polite and keep in mind that if thought I had a special connection to God and people's souls hung in the balance I too might be knocking on people's doors.
Usually these interactions are brief and cordial however one day I was approached while working in my yard by a couple of Christian evangelists who persisted in talking to me about their religion even though I politely told them I was busy and not interested. They asked what church I attended and I told them I was atheist but that didn't dissuade them. One of them said that it was his experience that atheists were very knowledgeable about the Bible and then proceeded to cite verses from the Bible that God created the world and man, only through Jesus can we be saved and so forth. Normally I don't engage but I was getting annoyed that these people had come into my yard uninvited and insisted on preaching to me. I let him say his peace then calmly replied, "Here is the problem: You believe the Bible is the truth and word of God and I don't believe the Bible is the word of God, so nothing you quote from the Bible is going to convince me that what you are saying is true." He then got really angry, said he wouldn't waste anymore of my time and stomped off.
Quote from: GSOgymrat on May 31, 2014, 08:20:04 PM
I wouldn't have a sign like that in my yard because it just seems inhospitable. When evangelists come to my door I try to be polite and keep in mind that if thought I had a special connection to God and people's souls hung in the balance I too might be knocking on people's doors.
The sign lets them know I'd happily kill them. They do get the message.
Some JW's had come to my aunt's house when I was babysitting. I immediately locked eyes on the college chick with all the subtlety off a rabid badger in the ass. I didn't even hear what the lady said and I just took the card and said my family would think about it.
Quote from: PringleTree on May 30, 2014, 08:02:16 PM
This led me to (with all do respect to the Five Man Electrical Band) get a nice all-weather metal sign stating "Private Property. No Religious Soliciting". In the middle is the prohibition graphic of a Bible within a circle with a diagonal slash through it. I placed it out at the end of my driveway. This has totally done the trick in keeping away the undesirables.
When we lived in a more suburban setting, we had people at the door all the time. Only a few were bible thumpers, most were soliciting to sell replacement windows or vacuum cleaners or butt plugs. You know, the usual stuff. At one point I considered putting up one of those 'no soliciting' signs. But I did some reading and turns out that most folks in the soliciting game actually target houses with those signs because they're typically put up by people who can't say no. IOW the signs attract more solicitor traffic instead of keeping them away.
I'm glad your sign actually worked. Apparently the bible thumpers aren't very well versed in the tricks of the door to door trade. How about a pic of your sign?
Perhaps my cruelest moment was when a trio showed up with a woman in a wheel chair who started the conversation but stopped as soon as I held my hand up "stop". I looked directly at her wheelchair and said, " lady, if your god is not willing to fix that, I doubt he is able to, because I would fix it and I don't even know you, and you think he loves you? Fuck him!". I am not so arrogant to think she never thought of that herself, but she probably never heard it from someone else.
This thread made me re-Google the word "disfellowshipped". If you tell them you've been disfellowshipped, they will apparently leave wordlessly and leave you alone forever. I actually think I'll have the guts to say this to the next JW that knocks on my door.
http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/disfellowship-shunning.php
It actually doesn't really take all that much. If I get caught letting someone fondle my boobs, I can be disfellowshipped and shunned forever for it. Actually, it looks like all I really need to do is put up Christmas lights.
Here are the reasons people are disfellowshipped:
Quote
1. Adultery (sexual intercourse with a person other than your marriage mate), includes;
Abandoning wife and eloping with another woman - w79 11/15 31-2, w76 p.728
Planned adultery to break Scriptural marriage ties - w83 3/15 p.29
Remarriage without Scriptural permission - w56 10/1 p.597
Polygamy - jv 176
Dating a person not legally divorced - ks91-E p.135
Apostasy - w83 4/1 pp.22-4, km 8/80 pp.1, 4. includes;
Rebellion against Jehovah's organization - w63 7/1
Promoting sects - it-2 886
Associating with disfellowshipped people including;
Friends - ks91-E p.103, w81 9/15 pp.25-6, w55 10/1 p.607
Family - ks91-E p.103
Blood and blood transfusions - w61 1/15 ks91-E p.95, jv p.183-4
Drug use - ks91-E p.96
Drunkenness - ks91-E p.95, it-1 656
Dishonest business practices - w63 7/1, w86 11/15 14
Employment violating Christian principles - km 9/76 p.6, km 2/74
Working for any religious organization - ks91-E p.95
Working in a gambling institution - ks91-E p.136
Selling tobacco - ks91-E p.96
Contract work at a military establishment
False worship. Includes;
Attending another church ks91-E p.94
Following mourning customs that involve false worship - w85 4/15 p.25
Fornication it-1 863
Bestiality - w83 6/1 p.25
Incestuous marriage - w78 3/15 p.26
Artificial insemination and surrogate motherhood.
"True Christians, therefore, avoid surrogate motherhood as well as any procedures that involve the use of donated sperm, eggs, or embryos" g04 9/22;
"Artificial insemination of a married woman by a donor other than her husband makes her guilty of adultery" g74 8/8 p.28
sexual abuse of children - g93 10/8 p.10Reviling - ks91-E p.94, w96 7/15 pp.17-18; it-1 p.991; it-2 p.802
Fraud - ks91-E p.94, om pp.142-3
Gambling or related employment - w80 9/1, ks91-E p.136
Gluttony - w86 5/1
Greediness, this in used to include;
gambling ks91-E p.95
extortion ks91-E p.95, w89 1/15 22, it-1 p.789
greed in relation to bride-price: w98 9/15 p.25
Homosexuality - w83 6/1 pp.24-6
Idolatry - w52 3/1 p.138
Loose conduct - ks91-E pp.93, 96, w83 3/15 p.31, w73 9/15 p.574, it-2 p.264, ks91-E p.93, w83 3/15 p.31, w73 9/15 pp.574-6, w97 9/1 p.14, it-2 p.246.
This includes;
Sexual perversion
Disregard for Jehovah's moral standards
Disrespect, disregard or even contempt for standards, laws and authority,
Rather than restricted to the usual definition of sexual perversion, the Watchtower defines "loose conduct" as including "disrespect to elders". This enables this term to be used to disfellowship for a wide range of offences not elsewhere covered, and as such is used to cover all manner of sins, such as refusal to cease fellowship with disfellowshipped people, or even being contemptuous in a judicial meeting where no other sin can be proven.
Lying - ks91-E p.94, g00 2/8 p.21
Non neutral activities (involvement in politics and the military) - ks91-E p.96
Military service and non military service including working casual work (certain civilian work has recently been made a conscience matter w96 5/1 p.20) - ks91-E p.96
Obscene speech - ks91-E p.95
Parents condoning immorality - w56 p.566
Political involvement, including voting or holding a political card in Malawi - ks91-E p.96 (w99 11/1 p.28 made voting a conscience matter)
Porneia. Includes oral and anal sex between married couples, mutual masturbation between persons not married to each other, homosexuality, lesbianism, fornication, adultery, incest, and bestiality. - ks91-E p.93
Slander - ks91-E p.94, w63 7/1, w89 10/15 p.14, om p.142
Smoking or selling tobacco - km 2/74, ks91-E p.96
Spiritism (includes yoga w02 8/1 p.22) - w55 10/1 p.607
Stealing, thievery - om pp.142-5, ks91-E p.94
Subversive activity - w95 10/1 p.31
Uncleanness
Sexually perverse practices within marriage, such as oral and anal sex - w83 3/15 p.31
Heavy petting and breast fondling - ks91-E p.92
Touching of sexual parts - ks91-E p.91
Practice of viewing abhorrent Pornography - w2012 3/15 p.31
Violation of secular law if flagrant attitude - w86 10/1 p.31
Violence, extreme physical abuse, fits of anger - ks91-E p.96, w75 p.287, g01 11/8 p.12
Includes Boxing w81 7/1 pp.30-1, ks91-E p.142
Wilful non support of family, endangerment of mates spirituality - w88 11/1 pp.22-3, km 9/73 p.8, ks91-E p.95
Worldly celebrations such as Christmas - ks91-E p.95 (It appears celebrating birthdays is not a reason to be disfellowshipped)
Here it is--now my avatar. Sorry for the reflections. If you click on the pic, it will enlarge.
Quote from: PringleTree on June 09, 2014, 05:07:24 PM
Here it is--now my avatar. Sorry for the reflections. If you click on the pic, it will enlarge.
Nice. I like it.
Quote from: Mermaid on June 08, 2014, 03:27:24 PM
This thread made me re-Google the word "disfellowshipped". If you tell them you've been disfellowshipped, they will apparently leave wordlessly and leave you alone forever. I actually think I'll have the guts to say this to the next JW that knocks on my door.
http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/disfellowship-shunning.php
It actually doesn't really take all that much. If I get caught letting someone fondle my boobs, I can be disfellowshipped and shunned forever for it. Actually, it looks like all I really need to do is put up Christmas lights.
Here are the reasons people are disfellowshipped:
Hell, I can get through over half of that list on an average Thursday night.
I have a similar sign on my door, although I've very, very rarely had any bible thumpers my way. its all in one for religous groups, cold callers and sellers.
Quote from: Munch on June 11, 2014, 06:31:42 AM
I have a similar sign on my door, although I've very, very rarely had any bible thumpers my way. its all in one for religous groups, cold callers and sellers.
I started to get an all inclusive "No Soliciting" sign, but we have guys come by collecting for our local volunteer fire departments and other local groups I support who I didn't want to warn off. It is the proseletizers that I want to stay away.
We have a 'No Soliciting' sign, but of course they just ignore it and ring the doorbell anyways. So over the years, I noticed a tactic that works. I overly pretend to be interested in what they say, agreeing with them most of the time while adding points of my own. These people think they are above others and 'know the truth' so when you add to what they say, they become visibly irritated. So I keep doing it. I use my young, charismatic, semi-sociopathic image to scare them off and it works every time. Just act enthusiastic, make it clear you have a brain of your own, but engage them on a level far greater than what they are doing with you.
They have never come back here. Not once. Not the same people anyway.
Tell them to get a proper job.
Quote from: frosty on June 12, 2014, 03:28:07 AM
We have a 'No Soliciting' sign, but of course they just ignore it and ring the doorbell anyways.
I live in a "red" state where property rights are highly regarded. My response should someone ignore the sign will be to simply say, "This property is posted. Leave immediately or I'm calling the sheriff".
Quote from: frosty on June 12, 2014, 03:28:07 AM
We have a 'No Soliciting' sign, but of course they just ignore it and ring the doorbell anyways. So over the years, I noticed a tactic that works. I overly pretend to be interested in what they say, agreeing with them most of the time while adding points of my own. These people think they are above others and 'know the truth' so when you add to what they say, they become visibly irritated. So I keep doing it. I use my young, charismatic, semi-sociopathic image to scare them off and it works every time. Just act enthusiastic, make it clear you have a brain of your own, but engage them on a level far greater than what they are doing with you.
I like it but I don't know that I'd be able to pull it off myself. The agreeing with them and adding points of my own bit would be hard for me to do without sounding sarcastic I think. Then again I've never been a theist so there was never a time in my life when I was well versed in their bullshit.
If I know they are thumpers I answer the door like this.
I flat out tell them right away that I'm an atheist and they usually look at me funny for a second, like they can't believe it, usually say it's unfortunate that I have not found the lord or some shit like that and head on down the road.
Quote from: PringleTree on May 30, 2014, 08:02:16 PM
My elderly mother came to live with me several years ago. At least a couple times a month she had to shoo away J. Witnesses and others who arrived at my house to "spread the good news" while I was at work. This led me to (with all do respect to the Five Man Electrical Band) get a nice all-weather metal sign stating "Private Property. No Religious Soliciting". In the middle is the prohibition graphic of a Bible within a circle with a diagonal slash through it. I placed it out at the end of my driveway. This has totally done the trick in keeping away the undesirables.
Anyone else had to resort to something similar?
I once opened the door wearing absolutely nothing to some Christian girls; they never came back (I guess my body isn't what it used to be :'( ) and neither did anyone else; not even salesmen/women.
Eh.
-Nam
I get the impression many of them have gone through a career change and taken on telemarketing or energy provider reps such as selling solar panels etc, which I find can be almost as obnoxious and annoying. To come to think of it, I haven't had a religious solicitor knocking on my door for at least a good 10 years now
My earliest experience was two young ladies (about the age I am now) showing up at mom's house when I was 13 or 14. I was still a Christian* at the time, but it never occurred to me that people did any of that door to door shit. I didn't know what denomination they were, but they were saying some shit about how Jesus wasn't necessarily the last prophet and there could be modern day prophets.
Quote from: Savior2006 on June 20, 2014, 02:12:27 AM
but they were saying some shit about how Jesus wasn't necessarily the last prophet and there could be modern day prophets.
So in other words: We represent some dude and we follow that dude so give us some money and we'll go give it to that dude.
We have a sign on out front door saying the same thing.
I've made a vow if a bible thumper comes round ignoring the sign, I'll strike up a conversation with him, first telling him I'm gay to engage their reaction, and the tell them I'm atheist but if he can convince me of the bible stories being real I'll consider it.
Of course I intend to troll them.
(http://images.cryhavok.org/d/22791-1/Bible+Thumpers+will+be+Sparta-Kicked.jpg)
(http://www.skeptic.ca/E-NOthump.jpg)
(http://api.ning.com/files/O2uQ-w7kOT71tV47X7L4HA5hwyQPU55F1i7nR954LqekgGZYTfrkg14LEaaEY4uN3pJQHFCzdAuLwEopbF1V6PkZAwha1oqx/BibleThumper.JPG)
(http://i1.cpcache.com/product/541637661/christian_themed_no_soliciting_sign_decal.jpg?height=225&width=225)
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51CjT3dPQIL._SY300_.jpg)
(https://img0.etsystatic.com/015/0/5117406/il_340x270.434135644_a4zt.jpg)
(http://i1.cpcache.com/product/1284827462/no_soliciting_yard_sign.jpg?height=225&width=225)
(http://cupofzup.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/door-to-door-christians.jpg)
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fvZy7YVK8C0/T78pDUSco1I/AAAAAAAABps/R3LJYKNu1Dw/s1600/no-soliciting.png)
I found this while looking for those:
(Could be NSFW)
[Spoiler](http://lh5.ggpht.com/_6-Uxg3BTLvg/S2SY4UDPZDI/AAAAAAAABS4/LuLhjzNkWm0/proselytizing.jpg?imgmax=800)[/spoiler]
-Nam