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Extraordinary Claims => Religion General Discussion => Topic started by: stromboli on April 11, 2014, 10:42:30 AM

Title: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 11, 2014, 10:42:30 AM
http://www.salon.com/2014/04/11/6_most_absurd_things_the_christian_right_has_blamed_on_gays_partner/

“We have displeased the Lord and the earth is going to answer,” so-called prophet Cindy Jacobs warned in advance of the Supreme Court’s ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act last summer. If this warning sounds familiar, it should: right wingers have a long history of blaming everything from earthquakes to recession to climate change on the advance of gay marriage, and they’re only getting more ridiculous.

1. Autism and Tornados

Susanne Atanus, the GOP nominee for the Illinois 9th, is the most recent conservative to blame ills and plagues on gay marriage, and she’s not choosy. She told the Daily Herald earlier this year that God had visited everything from tornados to autism and dementia upon the earth as punishment for gay marriage.

“Everybody knows that God controls weather,” she said in the Windy City Times. “God is super angry. Gay marriage is not appropriate, and it doesn’t look right, and it breeds AIDS.”

She was a candidate for the GOP nomination when she said that. A few weeks ago she won the primary by five percentage points.

2. Climate Change

Something about floods brings out the biblical in conservatives. At least that’s one possible explanation for British politician David Silvester’s blaming recent floods on gay marriage. After British Prime Minister David Cameron went “arrogantly against the gospel” and changed the law to allow same-sex marriages, Silvester said the country had been “beset by storms.”

He insisted this did not make him homophobic. “If you love a person enough to want them to be healed and to have a proper family, that is hardly homophobic,” Silvester said. “It’s not what I say, it’s what the Bible says.”

He was then suspended by his party.

5. Hurricane Katrina

Blaming major natural disasters on “the homosexuals” is a time-honored right-wing pastime. Pastor John Hagee, a religious right figure from San Antonio, entered a classic in the genre when he blamed Hurricane Katrina’s destruction of New Orleans on a “homosexual parade” that was supposed to have been held the next week.

Hagee not only made the connection, but affirmed it multiple times as everyone from NPR’s Terry Gross to right-wing radio host Dennis Hastert asked if he was serious.

“I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God, and they were recipients of the judgment of God for that,” Hagee told Gross. “The newspaper carried the story in our local area that was not carried nationally that there was to be a homosexual parade there on the Monday that the Katrina came. And the promise of that parade was that it was going to reach a level of sexuality never demonstrated before in any of the other Gay Pride parades. So I believe…that the Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans.”

Two years after that statement, Hagee endorsed then-GOP presidential nominee John McCain. The endorsement turned out to be problematic for McCain, who never could amend himself to Hagee’s slew of homophobic (as well as anti-Catholic and anti-whatever else) comments, especially during McCain’s trip to New Orleans.

Apparently God’s Sodom-and-Gomorrah-like punishment of New Orleans didn’t take, according to right-wing preacher and radio host John McTernan. When Hurricane Isaac (later downgraded to a tropical storm) made aim for New Orleans in 2012, McTernan likened the seven-year gap to the seven days of creation, and said God was revisiting his judgment.

“The church, city and nation have not repented and the homosexual agenda is far worse than it was in 2005,” he said. “New Orleans is still hosting Southern Decadence with open homosexuality manifesting in the streets of the city. It could be that God is putting an end to this city and its wickedness.”


Well YEEHAW Fellow Christians! Gaynado season is upon us.! Any day now them gay boys gonna be blowin' up a storm, if'n ya know whut I mean. Goin' to be blowin' down churches and destroyin' schools. All because we is allowin' them gays to get married. Hell, be all kinds of storms and natural disasters like whut happens in them other countries, like Denmark and Sweden. Oh, wait........
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: SGOS on April 11, 2014, 10:47:57 AM
God gets really angry during the hurricane season.  The rest of the time, he's not so angry.  Kind of strange when you think about it.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Jason78 on April 11, 2014, 10:56:21 AM
If they really believe this, then why aren't they using gay people as weapons of war?  Or using them to irrigate the Nevada desert? 


Hell, they could have organised a huge gay gangbang in California and stopped that drought there in a single stroke!
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Solitary on April 11, 2014, 11:13:53 AM
Are all the GOP politicians insane? Why is it that all these religious nuts know what God thinks---the BuyBull.  :wall: Solitary

"I don't hate fags, I just hate what they do"=I don't hate religious nuts, I just hate what they do.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Poison Tree on April 11, 2014, 11:24:15 AM
Just yesterday my dad asked me (jokingly, fortunately, while discussing some appalling homophobia displayed on facebook) if all the advancements in gay marriage had caused a bunch of tornadoes over the winter.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 11, 2014, 11:28:31 AM
What an odd situation. 75-80% of the population living in fear that plus or minus 10% is going to destroy the nation. Apparently they envision gangs of gays armed with gay pride buttons and rainbow accessory bags on their belts roaming the streets. Or fleets of pink Mazda Miatas driving around with tastefully dressed men and women, who could leap out at any second and point out that Gucci bag you are carrying is a knock off.

Oh, and adopt otherwise unwanted children and giving them a loving home. The horror.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Solitary on April 11, 2014, 11:44:36 AM
I think hell would be, being able to go inside their minds. Solitary
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Hydra009 on April 11, 2014, 11:45:25 AM
Quote from: stromboli on April 11, 2014, 10:42:30 AM
http://www.salon.com/2014/04/11/6_most_absurd_things_the_christian_right_has_blamed_on_gays_partner/

“We have displeased the Lord and the earth is going to answer,” so-called prophet Cindy Jacobs warned in advance of the Supreme Court’s ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act last summer. If this warning sounds familiar, it should: right wingers have a long history of blaming everything from earthquakes to recession to climate change on the advance of gay marriage, and they’re only getting more ridiculous.
The really weird thing is that ages ago, this sort of behavior was pretty normal.  "Prophets" would take to the streets and weave current events and religion together.  "Repent, O' Israel!  For YHWH brings famine and war!"  Looking it at now, it all seems so stupid and superstitious.  And that's because it is.  It's just that a lot of people still haven't gotten the memo.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 11, 2014, 12:58:39 PM
If you want real fear, sit and think a bit about having someone like Ted Cruz in the White House.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Jason78 on April 11, 2014, 01:20:56 PM
Quote from: stromboli on April 11, 2014, 12:58:39 PM
If you want real fear, sit and think a bit about having someone like Ted Cruz in the White House.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: The Skeletal Atheist on April 12, 2014, 01:19:15 PM
Now now...how about you guys stop discussing this "secret gay conspiracy" and look at these nice camps I set up for you...attendance is mandatory.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: the_antithesis on April 12, 2014, 01:30:12 PM
Quote from: The Skeletal Atheist on April 12, 2014, 01:19:15 PM
Now now...how about you guys stop discussing this "secret gay conspiracy" and look at these nice camps I set up for you...attendance is mandatory.

No thanks. Your camp is too campy.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 12, 2014, 01:36:49 PM
Scenario for Gaynado weather forecasting:


Super Religious Climatologist
: "Yeah, we got an apparent Super Cell just West of Enid, Oklahoma headin' in, but no apparent activity at this point."

Super religious weather observer: "Yeah, Floyd, want to give you a heads up on that. Talked to a State Trooper a minute ago saw a Pink Mazda Miata with California plates headin' for Enid. Car had two men in it.

Floyd: "Well, that is a concern Lee, but that's not enough to go on. Any more information?"

Lee: "Well, the officer did day the car was a bright pink and he's sure it's a custom paint job. Also, the two men were both tastefully dressed."

Floyd: "Well, that tears it, that's enough for me. You got an ETA in Enid for them two?"

Lee: "Reckon about 2:30. Given they's Gays, they will already have a room booked and GPS, so they'll get right there. Give em' an hour to shower and shave, figure they get to blowin' each other 'bout 3:30."

Floyd: "Right. Given the speed of that Super Cell, figure it'll go vertical 'bout two hours later. So sound the warnin' 'bout 4 PM- give ever'body time to hunker down. Good call on that one, Lee!"
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Jason78 on April 13, 2014, 03:58:26 AM
I would watch that movie
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Gawdzilla Sama on April 13, 2014, 07:56:01 PM
I remember seeing a lady preacher on TV, standing in front of a pancake-like structure she used to preach in. I nearly puked when she said, "Thank God more people weren't killed."
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: AllPurposeAtheist on April 13, 2014, 09:22:55 PM
And yet ironically all the gayness made the easten US pretty cold this past winter which flew right in the face of global warming. God made me wear my coat for a month longer than I expected.

Well thank GOD for that, huh? TAKE THAT GAY GUYS!
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 13, 2014, 10:25:05 PM
IT HAS BEGUN

http://www.newson6.com/story/25236037/tornadoes-touch-down-in-sotuhern-oklahoma

BRAY, Oklahoma - Tornadoes briefly touched down in southern Oklahoma, just to the southeast of Bray, Okla., Sunday evening.
At least three tornadoes touched down around 6 p.m. in between Bray and Velma, to the south of Lake Fuqua. The storm is pushing east southeast at 30 miles per hour.

According to the Stephens County Sheriff's office, there has been no damage or injuries, only reports of a few power lines down. 

Keep checking with News 9 and News9.com for more information.


No damage or injuries. Must have been a hand job.  :biggrin:
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Gawdzilla Sama on April 13, 2014, 10:50:22 PM
Shit, we had tornadoes here last week.

Does that make me gay?
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 13, 2014, 10:55:30 PM
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on April 13, 2014, 10:50:22 PM
Shit, we had tornadoes here last week.

Does that make me gay?

No, I think atheism has a similar effect. The demonic possession thing.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Jason78 on April 14, 2014, 11:44:01 AM
Quote from: stromboli on April 13, 2014, 10:25:05 PM
No damage or injuries. Must have been a hand job.  :biggrin:

How do you do a gay hand job?
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 14, 2014, 12:01:58 PM
Quote from: Jason78 on April 14, 2014, 11:44:01 AM
How do you do a gay hand job?

With your hands?
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Gawdzilla Sama on April 14, 2014, 12:22:00 PM
Quote from: Jason78 on April 14, 2014, 11:44:01 AM
How do you do a gay hand job?
Wear fingernail polish.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: AllPurposeAtheist on April 14, 2014, 12:27:41 PM
Quote from: Jason78 on April 14, 2014, 11:44:01 AM
How do you do a gay hand job?
I always thought several miles away would be safe unless you're the long arm of the law.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: aitm on April 14, 2014, 04:40:37 PM
Quote from: stromboli on April 14, 2014, 12:01:58 PM
With your hands?


:think:
you shew knows a lots about that there hand a wringin stuff...
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 14, 2014, 06:09:04 PM
I have long acquaintance with a hand on a male member. Always the left hand, always my male member. And lotion; I have callouses.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: The Skeletal Atheist on April 14, 2014, 11:45:22 PM
Just a heads up: I'll be visiting Iowa at the end of this month to see my grandmother. Seeing as how Iowa is in tornado alley, I'm sure some disaster will happen. South Carolina is so screwed.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 15, 2014, 12:20:20 AM
Thank you. do you realize we could start a whole new travel advisory service this way?
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: AllPurposeAtheist on April 15, 2014, 12:33:26 AM
Quote from: The Skeletal Atheist on April 14, 2014, 11:45:22 PM
Just a heads up: I'll be visiting Iowa at the end of this month to see my grandmother. Seeing as how Iowa is in tornado alley, I'm sure some disaster will happen. South Carolina is so screwed.
Leave my dad out of the whole SC being screwed plan. He's not a rolly holer. He just thinks 'there's something out there'..
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 15, 2014, 12:47:23 AM
Quote from: The Skeletal Atheist on April 14, 2014, 11:45:22 PM
Just a heads up: I'll be visiting Iowa at the end of this month to see my grandmother. Seeing as how Iowa is in tornado alley, I'm sure some disaster will happen. South Carolina is so screwed.

Do you by chance drive a Mazda Miata?
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: The Skeletal Atheist on April 15, 2014, 11:08:21 AM
Quote from: stromboli on April 15, 2014, 12:47:23 AM
Do you by chance drive a Mazda Miata?
No. We'll probably be driving a rented minivan.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 15, 2014, 12:20:21 PM
Well, then we can't therefore designate a particular type of vehicle as gay. So much for forecasting.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: The Skeletal Atheist on April 15, 2014, 12:26:31 PM
Yeah. You'll have to look in windows for the occurrence of sodomy. Or look for gay weddings. According to the foremost experts it isn't simply being gay that causes bad weather, but rather sodomy, gay marriages, and not executing gays on the street. So look for that.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 15, 2014, 12:29:20 PM
Quote from: The Skeletal Atheist on April 15, 2014, 12:26:31 PM
Yeah. You'll have to look in windows for the occurrence of sodomy. Or look for gay weddings. According to the foremost experts it isn't simply being gay that causes bad weather, but rather sodomy, gay marriages, and not executing gays on the street. So look for that.

Or pro gay bumper stickers. Might want to avoid that if the Republicans win the Senate.
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Jason78 on April 15, 2014, 01:23:04 PM
Quote from: The Skeletal Atheist on April 15, 2014, 12:26:31 PM
Yeah. You'll have to look in windows for the occurrence of sodomy. Or look for gay weddings. According to the foremost experts it isn't simply being gay that causes bad weather, but rather sodomy, gay marriages, and not executing gays on the street. So look for that.

If we got lesbians to sodomise each other, we could potentially double the gay power output.  (I'm guessing that these variables work linearly).

Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: stromboli on April 15, 2014, 01:37:58 PM
Quote from: Jason78 on April 15, 2014, 01:23:04 PM
If we got lesbians to sodomise each other, we could potentially double the gay power output.  (I'm guessing that these variables work linearly).



Hey, I think you are on to something here. We could create a new energy source by having a gay old time. :biggrin:
Title: Re: It's Gaynado Season!
Post by: Jason78 on April 16, 2014, 01:41:42 AM
Well played sir!  Well played.