Just thought I'd share some of my favorite (and in my opinion funniest) verses and commentaries from the Qur'an.
QuoteSurah 2:245 Who is it that would loan Allah a goodly loan so He may multiply it for him many times over?
According to the hadith's the Jews apparently found this revelation funny, and retorted "O Mohammad, has your Lord become so poor that he asks his servants to give him a loan" and "Abu Bakr, you claim that our Lord is asking us to lend Him our wealth. Yet, it is only the poor who borrow from the rich. And if what you say is true, it follows that Allah is poor and we are rich, for if He were rich He would not ask us to lend Him our wealth". According to commentaries Abu Bakr became enraged at this statement and punched the person who dared to utter it.
Allah then allegedly revealed the Surah 3:181
QuoteGod has heard the saying of those who said, 'Surely God is poor, and we are rich.' We shall write down what they have said, and their slaying the Prophets without right, and We shall say, 'Taste the chastisement of the burning
In other words, when the all powerful, all merciful creator of everything is questioned about why he needs to borrow money, he becomes angry and threatens to burn you.
Hey, every god needs money. The all powerful, all wise, all knowing god of christianity certainly does.
I don't get it?
Everyone needs money! and Girls!
If i make one of these things, i will probably demand everyone give me all there money and all the girls.
I will tell them if they do this, they will have never ending supply of money and gals in life after life. =P~
I will also say gals are superior to males and only gals must fight (scantily clad of course)
i will be top authority, then girls, then cats and dogs and then rest of the species.
It ain't cheap creating universes unless you outsource it to China..
Allah gets 20% of all war booty why does he need a loan, surely some good muslims will give him his cut.
QuoteAllah speaking -
And know that anything you obtain of war booty- then indeed for Allah is 1/5 of it and for the messenger ($Profit Mo?).
//http://www.quran.com/8/41
The religions of which I know some history, seem to have their origins in a scam and a scam artist whose motive was personal wealth or power. Mormonism, scientology, Islam. The origins of Christianity and Judaism are a bit more clouded being more ancient, but Paul seems to have jump started a minor cult of vague origins into the major money maker that Christianity has become.
Quote from: "SGOS"The religions of which I know some history, seem to have their origins in a scam and a scam artist whose motive was personal wealth or power. Mormonism, scientology, Islam. The origins of Christianity and Judaism are a bit more clouded being more ancient, but Paul seems to have jump started a minor cult of vague origins into the major money maker that Christianity has become.
Yep . Paul was fraud too.
Quote from: "CloneKai"I don't get it?
Everyone needs money! and Girls!
If i make one of these things, i will probably demand everyone give me all there money and all the girls.
I will tell them if they do this, they will have never ending supply of money and gals in life after life. =P~
I will also say gals are superior to males and only gals must fight (scantily clad of course)
i will be top authority, then girls, then cats and dogs and then rest of the species.
Yup money and girls.
Oh heck.. Go ahead and try creating an entire universe, stars, planets, living beings, etc., on a budget. That's why ours is so fucked up, god can't pay the credit card bill. :lol:
Quote from: "AllPurposeAtheist"Oh heck.. Go ahead and try creating an entire universe, stars, planets, living beings, etc., on a budget. That's why ours is so fucked up, god can't pay the credit card bill. :lol:
It happened when we got off the gold standard.
You all mention the cost of creating the universe but did any of you think of the costs of running the damn thing? I mean shit, you have hundreds of billions, possibly trillions of galaxies to look after. Each of those have billions upon billions of stars and an unknown number of planets. The logistics of such an endeavor are terrifying to say the least.
First off it would take a massive bureaucracy to even manage a single star system. Ramp that up to a galaxy and it grows to ridiculous proportions. Ramp that up to a universe and it's just a fucking nightmare to everyone involved.
Then someone has to be the fall guy when something goes wrong. Can you imagine how much shit they had to deal with when that asteroid fucked the dinosaurs' shit up? Internal investigations, retraining, numerous meetings - all that shit adds up in lost productivity.
I imagine God/Allah's little pet projects keep throwing a wrench into everything as well. I mean this "life" idea he had was already a burden, but then he threw humans into the mix. They keep destroying everything they can put their hands on, including themselves, and then try to export their bullshit to other planets.
Last but not least you have this asshole Satan running around and fucking things up just for the fun of it. Shit, even humans were cool at first, but then that bastard had to convince Eve to eat that fucking apple. Of course God/Allah throws a goddamn hissy fit of epic proportions over this, so now the afterlife department has to deal with Hell as well as Heaven. This of course means tracking everyone's sins, their religious faith, and where they're suppose to go (no, Allah, it doesn't matter that the budget is already stretched to breaking, just keep on adding to our workload).
So yeah, God/Allah needs money.
Quote from: "The Skeletal Atheist"You all mention the cost of creating the universe but did any of you think of the costs of running the damn thing? I mean shit, you have hundreds of billions, possibly trillions of galaxies to look after. Each of those have billions upon billions of stars and an unknown number of planets. The logistics of such an endeavor are terrifying to say the least.
I hate to rain on your parade, but it cost nothing to run the universe: total energy is conserved, plus, it's equal to ZERO, the ultimate free lunch. So Allah can go and screw himself. I mean, come on, look at the people he chose. Yahweh at least chose some smart people.
** runs away...
Quote from: "The Skeletal Atheist"Last but not least you have this asshole Satan running around and fucking things up just for the fun of it.
Geeze, I hate that guy. He's out of control. Nobody can control him. God can't control him, and God is almighty. The whole universe is one major fuckup. Radiation, stray comets, galaxies colliding, and black holes. And this is God's plan? Sheesh!
Quote from: "SGOS"Quote from: "The Skeletal Atheist"Last but not least you have this asshole Satan running around and fucking things up just for the fun of it.
Geeze, I hate that guy. He's out of control. Nobody can control him. God can't control him, and God is almighty. The whole universe is one major fuckup. Radiation, stray comets, galaxies colliding, and black holes. And this is God's plan? Sheesh!
The funny thing is that god kill tons of people in the bible. How many people Satan killed if any?
Quote from: "leo"The funny thing is that god kill tons of people in the bible. How many people Satan killed if any?
Good point. Satan is more of a naughty thoughts kind of guy.
Satan is the ultimate boogieman under gods bed so god cowardly hides under the covers afraid to get up and go potty and continuously just shits the bed..
Yep..explains our fucked up world alright..
So...the theists worship a big, cowardly bed shitter.. :roll:
He needs your money to buy heavenly Depends® :)
Hey, the Mormon Church doesn't mess around, they go for the jugular. They mandate 10% of your GROSS income, and every year or even more often you do a Bishop's interview for things like Temple recommend and worthiness, and the make you prove it, up to the point of reviewing tithing records. And every conference and every Stake meeting they hammer it in, pay that 10% or else.
I guess choir robes are pretty dern expensive, huh?
Quote from: "AllPurposeAtheist"I guess choir robes are pretty dern expensive, huh?
Well, the cost of cleaning the semen out doesn't help.
Quote from: "stromboli"Hey, the Mormon Church doesn't mess around, they go for the jugular. They mandate 10% of your GROSS income, and every year or even more often you do a Bishop's interview for things like Temple recommend and worthiness, and the make you prove it, up to the point of reviewing tithing records. And every conference and every Stake meeting they hammer it in, pay that 10% or else.
The Catholic started that and expect 10% too. It cost money to put priests in a house with wool carpets, maid service, house cleaning, yard workers, giant solid oak desks to sit behind pompously to make you humble, a cook to fix their meals, and a fancy car to drive around, fancy gold fixtures, and paying for all those lawsuits of little boys parents. All this while taking a vow of poverty while two blocks away children are under nourished with parents having two or three jobs to make ends meet. I wonder what they do when a young girl comes into confession and tells how she sinned by masturbating, or is that boys. :shock: :roll: Solitary
I still give 10%. I have ten fingers. Occasionally I offer them a view of my middle finger, right hand. :-D
Quote from: "robandrob1"QuoteSurah 2:245 Who is it that would loan Allah a goodly loan so He may multiply it for him many times over?
I smell a scam.