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Extraordinary Claims => Religion General Discussion => Islam => Topic started by: Rushrange on October 09, 2013, 12:46:31 PM

Title: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: Rushrange on October 09, 2013, 12:46:31 PM
I found some on a site, don't know why it says very mean jokes. It's legit in my opinion :P
//http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/2013/02/very_mean_muslim_jokes_1.html

Q: How do you pick up a Muslim girl in Afghanistan?
A: With a broom and a dustpan.

Q: Why do Muslim girls keep quiet while having sex?
A: Because they're not supposed to talk to strangers.

Q: What do you ask a man who's just converted to Islam?
A: Have you started beating your wife?

Q: Why do Muslims smell like piss?
A: So blind people can hate them too.

Q: How come they canceled the Saudi Arabia Drivers' Ed program?
A: The donkey died.

If you know any jokes, then feel free to share :)
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: Mister Agenda on October 09, 2013, 02:03:42 PM
I don't know any Christian jokes, either. I'm more one to throw out a zinger than tell a joke.
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: Sargon The Grape on October 09, 2013, 02:08:32 PM
Two Muslims walk into a mall...

...they shop.
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: Hydra009 on October 09, 2013, 02:19:48 PM
A muslim man arms a bomb and sets it down.

His team wins de_dust for the 5th time in a row.
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: SilentFutility on October 09, 2013, 03:55:07 PM
OP you aren't funny.


Quote from: "Hydra009"A muslim man arms a bomb and sets it down.

His team wins de_dust for the 5th time in a row.
This made me lol though.  :rollin:
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: The Skeletal Atheist on October 09, 2013, 03:57:15 PM
(//http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/195/868/Kq.jpg)
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: Shiranu on October 09, 2013, 04:40:52 PM
Quote from: "The Skeletal Atheist"[ Image (//http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/195/868/Kq.jpg) ]

These are probably the best Muslim jokes.
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: baronvonrort on October 10, 2013, 01:49:33 AM
Why are there no muslims in star trek and star wars?

Those movies are set in the future.
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: Plu on October 10, 2013, 02:17:04 AM
I'm pretty sure there are no theists at all in Star Trek. But that's because they describe a utopian future.
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: Hydra009 on October 10, 2013, 02:56:31 AM
Quote from: "Plu"I'm pretty sure there are no theists at all in Star Trek. But that's because they describe a utopian future.
Roddenbury certainly planned it that way.  However, there is one major deviation.  Kirk says "Mankind has no need for gods. We find the one quite adequate."  That and DS9 (wormhole gods/aliens with heavy biblical undertones) and Voyager (where we're treated to not only to literal God particles, but we're also subjected to Chakotay's spirit world on a regular basis, although not technically theistic, it was just as insufferable)
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: Shiranu on October 10, 2013, 03:09:32 AM
Quote from: "Plu"I'm pretty sure there are no theists at all in Star Trek. But that's because they describe a utopian future.

The Bajorians, one of the major races, is ridiculously theistic.
As are the Edo.

In those two cases though there are physical manifestations of their gods; the beings in the wormhole and the guardian over the Edo.

There are probably more alien races, but lets just go with humanity...

In TOS,  "Balance of Terror" there is a cross during a wedding. In another TOS episode one of the crew is wearing a bindi on her forehead (though this one could possibly just be cultural).  Kirk says: "Scotty doesn't believe in gods" and also "Man has no need for gods. We find the one quite sufficient". This almost sounds like Kirk is supposed to be Christian, Jewish or Muslim (TOS: "Who Mourns for Adonais").

http://www.ex-astris-scientia.org/incon ... ligion.htm (http://www.ex-astris-scientia.org/inconsistencies/religion.htm)

Site has a few more examples.

That said, TOS and TNG are very critical of religion, it was only with DS9 and the change from Roddenberry that religion became an important part. TNG has some scenes that are indeed very anti-religion, which isn't surprising given GR's views on religion.
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: frosty on October 10, 2013, 03:48:17 AM
Quote from: "Hydra009"A muslim man arms a bomb and sets it down.

His team wins de_dust for the 5th time in a row.

This gave me intense nostalgia for Counter-Strike, especially the older de_dust versions. Damn it!!
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: The Skeletal Atheist on October 10, 2013, 07:43:21 AM
Quote from: "Shiranu"
Quote from: "Plu"I'm pretty sure there are no theists at all in Star Trek. But that's because they describe a utopian future.

The Bajorians, one of the major races, is ridiculously theistic.
As are the Edo.

In those two cases though there are physical manifestations of their gods; the beings in the wormhole and the guardian over the Edo.

There are probably more alien races, but lets just go with humanity...

In TOS,  "Balance of Terror" there is a cross during a wedding. In another TOS episode one of the crew is wearing a bindi on her forehead (though this one could possibly just be cultural).  Kirk says: "Scotty doesn't believe in gods" and also "Man has no need for gods. We find the one quite sufficient". This almost sounds like Kirk is supposed to be Christian, Jewish or Muslim (TOS: "Who Mourns for Adonais").

http://www.ex-astris-scientia.org/incon ... ligion.htm (http://www.ex-astris-scientia.org/inconsistencies/religion.htm)

Site has a few more examples.

That said, TOS and TNG are very critical of religion, it was only with DS9 and the change from Roddenberry that religion became an important part. TNG has some scenes that are indeed very anti-religion, which isn't surprising given GR's views on religion.

That's nice and all, but allow me to make this simple observation:






NERD!!! :P
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: AllPurposeAtheist on October 10, 2013, 10:24:03 AM
I once heard:
Why don't Muslims bomb the US to often?
No YMCA to learn to swim across the Atlantic ocean..

...and I thought it was lame too, but it's all I got. :|
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: Solitary on October 10, 2013, 01:44:16 PM
A Muslim father catches his son masturbating. He says, "Don't do that my son, or Allah will strike you blind." The child says, "Abu, I'm over here."  :shock:  :lol: Solitary
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: Hydra009 on October 10, 2013, 05:25:37 PM
(//http://global3.memecdn.com/misunderstood-arab-guy_o_1519299.jpg)
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: The Skeletal Atheist on October 10, 2013, 06:24:33 PM
What do you call a Muslim in a plane's cockpit?

A pilot.
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: Jorjor on October 22, 2013, 06:13:41 PM
This joke writes itself  :rollin:

(//http://i41.tinypic.com/t81yes.png)
Title: Re: Anyone know some Muslim jokes
Post by: Solitary on October 23, 2013, 12:29:03 AM
(//http://i.imgur.com/8okpcoI.jpg)