We can always imagine.
Putin Calls off Invasion, Apologizes for Death and Destruction, Promises to Pay Reparations to Ukraine
Trump Admits He Lost Election and that he really is a Moronic Asshole.
Add a few of your own.......
Elon Musk headed for Mars !!!
Rich elites agree to stop poisoning the only planet we've got. Limit plastic waste, stop pushing for outdated forms of energy like "clean coal," and do everything they can to limit the damage from climate change. Because, you know, killing the planet hurts them too.
Researchers Find that Christianity is a Hoax!
Recently unearthed documents show that it was originally started during an orgy as a joke, but proved to be useful to the Romans in rendering conquered civilizations docile and compliant while providing much needed revenue so that a select few members of society could enjoy a lavish and luxurious lifestyle.
reality shows found to be in violation of the geneva convention. Arrests to be made.
Humans all over the world declare peace among mankind.
Aliens arrive to see how the fuck we did that.
Galactic Patrol and Boskonians unite in opposition to "this hippie shit!"
Weakly Whirled News, December 32, 10199.
FLORIDA MAN BITES ALLIGATOR
News at11:00
Broadway Oyster Bar, 7th & Broadway, St. Louis, Mo, USA. Had to order the gator tail.
All I can say is that crocagator died happy.
Elon Musk's Twitter Takeover Is Now the Worst Buyout for Banks Since the Financial Crisis
The banks which unwisely lent him $13 Billion are stuck with these bad loans.
Oh wait!!!! This is a R E A L H E A D L I N E
Minnesota Vikings win Super Bowl!
Minnesota Vikings win Super Bowl!
(There's always next year.) 🙂
CHICAGO CUBS WIN SECOND WORLD SERIES.
CONFIDENT ELON SET TO TEST OWN NEURALINK
WHAT COULD GO WRONG, CLAIMS
OWNER OF X
"Dr. Ronny Jackson announces Trump healthier than either Lincoln or Washington."
JD Vance speaks to raucous crowd of dozens at Wisconsin rally.
Rub some dirt on it JD. It'll be fine.
https://twitter.com/i/status/1825940362491580538
And my hillbilly cousins would say "who?"
Quote from: ferdmonger on August 21, 2024, 09:51:51 PMhttps://twitter.com/i/status/1825940362491580538
Twitter won't let me see that unless I jump through their hoops, and I don't want to do that.
"Trump admits to everything. To leave US politics."
Quote from: ferdmonger on August 21, 2024, 09:44:50 PMJD Vance speaks to raucous crowd of dozens at Wisconsin rally.
Rub some dirt on it JD. It'll be fine.
Tyrannosaurus denies any culpability in dismemberment of triceratops. Blames stegosaurus for repeated ill-timed tail swings.
Trump hawks bibles while being the nearest thing to the anti-christ the bible ever mentioned.
Quote from: ferdmonger on August 25, 2024, 09:07:11 PMTyrannosaurus denies any culpability in dismemberment of triceratops. Blames stegosaurus for repeated ill-timed tail swings.
HaHa. That's very good, lol. Honestly, imagine a 10 or 12-ton triceratops with head down charging. Not so sure anything, even a big T-Rex would survive that. The T-Rex probably just went for the young, old sick and weak ones and sometimes paid a price.
Quote from: ferdmonger on August 25, 2024, 09:07:11 PMTyrannosaurus denies any culpability in dismemberment of triceratops. Blames stegosaurus for repeated ill-timed tail swings.
Super poorly timed. Like 80 million years too early.
This is why you never saw a stegosaurus pitch in the major leagues.
Those tyrannosaur arms just ain't conducive to good curve ball.
A woman was found at LAX passed out on the baggage carousel.
She slowly came around.
Quote from: Unbeliever on August 27, 2024, 06:33:54 PMA woman was found at LAX passed out on the baggage carousel.
She slowly came around.
They rode the carousel in "Airplane", the movie. And stop calling me Shirley.
twelve hospitalized after gas-eruption at trump rally.
should not have let him have taco bell for lunch, anonymous trump-aid admits
Sanity breaks out across the planet. Authorities are baffled.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on August 28, 2024, 07:09:54 AMSanity breaks out across the planet. Authorities are baffled.
Religion would have to be eradicated first. I think it preconditions numbskulls for magical thinking. Also, there are so many who desire to be herded. Religions and dictators certainly work that angle hard.
We, the sheeple...
Quote from: Unbeliever on August 27, 2024, 06:33:54 PMA woman was found at LAX passed out on the baggage carousel.
She slowly came around.
I loved it and you get a boo at the same time.
Helicopter gunship aids children in local village
Or try this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOjHior0RfU
WE GOT HIM!!!
president of united coalition of oil companies reveals titanic-iceberg destroyed
ALL THANKS TO CLIMATE CHANGE says president.
Never trust an iceberg. I've always lived by that. Yeah, it might be a stupid way to live, but then again, I've never been killed by an iceberg.
Antarctica is rising because of the decreasing weight of the ice upon it.
"Antarctic Beach ball disproves leftist theories of global warming.
Says someone's uncle who watches Fox News all day.
"Truth, Justice and the American Way" proves Captain America was a Spetsnaz agent.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on August 31, 2024, 01:35:19 AM"Truth, Justice and the American Way" proves Captain America was a Spetsnaz agent.
I guess the two superheroes did compete, but as allies against the Axis when the Soviets were still "our friends".
Spam completely takes over Atheist forum!
Quote from: Unbeliever on August 31, 2024, 10:24:41 AMSpam completely takes over Atheist forum!
Hey. That one's not fictional.
CATS TAKE OVER WORLD. "You eat out of the bowl now bitch!
"You were right, I was wrong." The headline that heralded the end of the world.
"SOCKS AND SANDALS" ARE IN FASHION
Who you callin' OLD?
Tesla Robo Taxis have Revolutionized the Transportation Industry as Predicted by Musk!
Florida Man Jailed For Wearing White After Labor Day
Florida man has 30 days to shoot somebody or leave the state.
You don't need to make up headlines about Florida Man.
He does goofy shit without your help.
But that guy was actually a New Yorker who moved to FLA. That's why he hasn't shot anyone yet, he doesn't know which ones are fair game. I didn't have that problem when I moved there.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on September 04, 2024, 08:30:15 AMBut that guy was actually a New Yorker who moved to FLA. That's why he hasn't shot anyone yet, he doesn't know which ones are fair game. I didn't have that problem when I moved there.
Very True. "The Florida Men" I have run across are all transplants that moved here and let the heat get to them.
I lived in Miami for a while, right across from 11111 Biscayne Blvd. (I couldn't afford to live there, but I was always invited into the pool area by some bored lady or other.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on September 04, 2024, 12:21:26 PMI lived in Miami for a while, right across from 11111 Biscayne Blvd. (I couldn't afford to live there, but I was always invited into the pool area by some bored lady or other.
Yeah, Miami Beach was gigolo central, lol. And cocaine town. Don Johnson wannabees everywhere.
This was the year the Dolphins hosted the Superbowl. Sublet my hotel room for $5K and spent the weekend with a lady friend on Key Biscayne.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on September 04, 2024, 05:09:54 PMThis was the year the Dolphins hosted the Superbowl. Sublet my hotel room for $5K and spent the weekend with a lady friend on Key Biscayne.
I recall they won back to back bowls 1972-73 and even went undefeated in '72. Very exciting for a still-small town, my brother nearly lost his mind, LOL.
Would have been the '73 for me. Too stoned to actually remember it. Pretty sure I didn't go to the game.
Trump throws catsup at Walz!
Arkansas Man wins Nobel Prize.
(Before you start, most of my hillbilly cousins live in Arkansas.)
"Americans everywhere in every state demand tax cuts for billionaires."
That's my quick Tim Walz paraphrase.
POPE ADMITS:
JESUS NEVER EXISTED
Judge shows independence of judiciary by refusing to sentence Trump prior to election.
This fucking farce needs to end.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on September 04, 2024, 12:21:26 PMI lived in Miami for a while, right across from 11111 Biscayne Blvd. (I couldn't afford to live there, but I was always invited into the pool area by some bored lady or other.
You were the pool boy husbands were warned about? lol
Quote from: Blackleaf on September 07, 2024, 07:22:39 PMYou were the pool boy husbands were warned about? lol
Pretty much. Except I made no pretense of working there. I knew the lifeguard, we both hit the same bar, on the third corner of that intersection. His pool sucked so I got free beers.
Studies confirm comatose patients fail to vote in general election.
Quote from: ferdmonger on September 11, 2024, 09:15:38 PMStudies confirm comatose patients fail to vote in general election.
Unless they are Republicans...
https://apnews.com/article/election-2020-government-and-politics-d34effeea6c341d6c44146931127caff
Yeah, but in fairness, who amongst us hasn't actually cast a ballot in our mother-in-laws name.
I've noticed that pretty much every time this comes up, it's a perp from the "R" side. 🤔
Donald Trump has decided Donald Trump won debate.
Oops! Another real one.
Panel of Trump-appointed bankruptcy attorneys agree Trump is financial genius.
Panel of Trump-appointed mental health experts agree Trump is Stable Genius.
Quote from: ferdmonger on September 17, 2024, 09:22:03 PMPanel of Trump-appointed bankruptcy attorneys agree Trump is financial genius.
I bet he could amass a million bucks if you gave him two million bucks.
He'd lose it all, and blame the suckers and losers who backed his idiot schemes, while pretending his name alone is still worth the two million. His name will be 'Mudd' soon. (At least one can hope.)
Trump shoots himself in foot
Blames Biden/Harris
Play Continues After Lincoln Shot!
Play Must Go On, Says Play's Director
Civil War era doctors use cutting edge procedures as they probe for the bullet in Lincoln's brain with a metal rod.
Um, that's real, btw, not a fake headline.
"Donald Trump gives Putin covid testing machines when Americans were begging for them."
https://www.politico.com/story/2018/09/04/trumps-insults-idiot-woodward-806455