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Arts and Entertainment => Film, Music, Sports, and more => Topic started by: Primal on June 30, 2023, 05:08:40 AM

Title: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Primal on June 30, 2023, 05:08:40 AM
It's because I'm short in real life like wood elves. I'm an avid, short powerlifter.

I'm also very horny, and wood elves in the Elder Scrolls world are like rabbits.

You would think I'd be an orc. lol
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Unbeliever on June 30, 2023, 11:06:29 AM
If you were an orc you could call yourself Mork... 🤣
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: the_antithesis on June 30, 2023, 11:52:18 AM
Quote from: Primal on June 30, 2023, 05:08:40 AMIt's because I'm short in real life like wood elves. I'm an avid, short powerlifter.

Those are quite common.

Like how guys with tiny dicks buy expensive cars.
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Primal on June 30, 2023, 12:07:02 PM
Quote from: the_antithesis on June 30, 2023, 11:52:18 AMThose are quite common.

Like how guys with tiny dicks buy expensive cars.


I've always heard of that but is it true? So for many guys, the only reason they spend lots of money on those expensive cars is to overcompensate in that way? lol
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Primal on June 30, 2023, 12:07:44 PM
Quote from: Unbeliever on June 30, 2023, 11:06:29 AMIf you were an orc you could call yourself Mork... 🤣

I don't get it. What's a Mork? Why would I call myself that?
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: the_antithesis on June 30, 2023, 12:08:28 PM
If you have a big dick, you don't need a personality.
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: the_antithesis on June 30, 2023, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Primal on June 30, 2023, 12:07:44 PMI don't get it. What's a Mork? Why would I call myself that?
(https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/morkandmindy/images/2/28/Mork_Portrait.jpg)

Na-noo Na-noo.
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Gawdzilla Sama on June 30, 2023, 01:47:11 PM
When they wrote the scripts they put "Mork speaks" where his lines went. Totally improv. Man was a genius.
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Unbeliever on June 30, 2023, 04:28:20 PM
Quote from: the_antithesis on June 30, 2023, 11:52:18 AMThose are quite common.

Like how guys with tiny dicks buy expensive cars.


Oh, now I finally know why all the cars I've owned have been ready for the scrap heap. 🤠
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Mr.Obvious on June 30, 2023, 04:44:59 PM
Only those with the junk of a hunk drive a hunk of junk?
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Sargon The Grape on June 30, 2023, 05:41:41 PM
The wood elves of The Elder Scrolls are pretty savage. Their religion requires them to fully process the body of any kill (i.e. eat and/or make tools) within three days. In war, they starve themselves before battle so they'll be able to eat all of the dead on both sides.
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Mike Cl on June 30, 2023, 06:19:46 PM
Quote from: Hijiri Byakuren on June 30, 2023, 05:41:41 PMThe wood elves of The Elder Scrolls are pretty savage. Their religion requires them to fully process the body of any kill (i.e. eat and/or make tools) within three days. In war, they starve themselves before battle so they'll be able to eat all of the dead on both sides.
And they are the best archers in the game.  In my version of Skyrim, I can make my wood elf as thin or buffed, as I want.
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Primal on June 30, 2023, 06:34:46 PM
Quote from: Hijiri Byakuren on June 30, 2023, 05:41:41 PMThe wood elves of The Elder Scrolls are pretty savage. Their religion requires them to fully process the body of any kill (i.e. eat and/or make tools) within three days. In war, they starve themselves before battle so they'll be able to eat all of the dead on both sides.

My Oblivion wood elf lives in Cyrodiil. He's way too sophisticated to be a cannibal.

My Skyrim wood elf is the wealthiest, most powerful person in Tamriel, both politically and physically. Greatest archer, strongest axe fighter, Dragonborn, et cetera. He has risen above his lowly cousins from that annoying Valenwood forest.
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Blackleaf on June 30, 2023, 06:39:31 PM
Quote from: Primal on June 30, 2023, 12:07:02 PMI've always heard of that but is it true? So for many guys, the only reason they spend lots of money on those expensive cars is to overcompensate in that way? lol

Yes. I believe research has showed that there was a correlation between perceived dick size and interest in sports cars. I think they had some men who were told they were smaller than average, despite their actual size, and it consistently led to a greater interest in sports cars. Compensation is real.

Coincidentally, I drive a little Nissan Versa Note.
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Primal on June 30, 2023, 06:47:21 PM
Quote from: Blackleaf on June 30, 2023, 06:39:31 PMYes. I believe research has showed that there was a correlation between perceived dick size and interest in sports cars. I think they had some men who were told they were smaller than average, despite their actual size, and it consistently led to a greater interest in sports cars. Compensation is real.

Coincidentally, I drive a little Nissan Versa Note.

I drive a beat-up 2005 Sedan.
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Blackleaf on June 30, 2023, 06:57:06 PM
Quote from: Hijiri Byakuren on June 30, 2023, 05:41:41 PMThe wood elves of The Elder Scrolls are pretty savage. Their religion requires them to fully process the body of any kill (i.e. eat and/or make tools) within three days. In war, they starve themselves before battle so they'll be able to eat all of the dead on both sides.

I think the Green Pact only applies in Valenwood. Would be interesting to have a game set there, where picking a flower is a crime punishable by death, and all legal ingredients for potions or food are meat. Although I hear they can circumvent their rules by having their plant-based stuff shipped from elsewhere.
Title: Re: Why I am a Wood Elf in Skyrim despite being a powerlifting fanatic.
Post by: Unbeliever on June 30, 2023, 07:42:17 PM
I don't drive anything... 😎