Cobras make poor neckties.
Cobras make poor sunglasses.
Sunglasses and neckties never pick up the check.
Klaatu Barada Necktie, said Ash. 🧐
You all are bucking the Mona Lisa here, let me fax you.
I'm braiding collars for my nightcrawlers. We take long walks off short piers.
When you're out of slips, you're out of pier.
I came here to make non sequiturs and kick ass, and I'm all out of pineapples.
🍍
MEAT!
"If I had my life to live over, I'd live over a saloon."
W. C. Fields
Jimmy crack corn and I'm pissed off.
Better to be pissed off than pissed on. 😏
on the catwalk. When I do my little turn
Non sequiturs don't make good soldiers, because they don't follow. 🤔
I came, I saw, I conked him.
I came, I saw, I concurred. 🖖
"NISRAHPU, LEKET, ENEM, ENEM"
Eep Op Oop Ah-ah.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
Why do watermelons only have legs on their right side?
The zoo smells terrible.
I have a pet crocodile in my BVDs.
Bacteria is really bad at math because it multiplies by dividing.
I know this is crazy, but amoeba baby?
In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby.
When the going gets tough I use a steak knife.
If this is paradise, I think I want a lawnmower.
There is wine in any cactus, if you look at the stars long enough, that is.
There is no cow level.
Quote from: Hydra009 on June 07, 2023, 02:48:48 PMThere is no cow level.
Be that as it might, might that as it be. Compadre
Quote from: Hydra009 on June 07, 2023, 02:48:48 PMThere is no cow level.
There is, however, a cow chess opening, invented by Anna Cramling. And that's no bull.
It walks, it talks, it crawls on its belly like a reptile. ♫Brother-in-law♫
I am not the very model of a modern major general.
Even if I pants a dreidel, no one has a born crust fippie.
The rain in Spain is mainly a pain.
Shalom, motherfucker.
Slalom.
Embargo train is running, toot toot!
If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.
It's impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious. 🤔
I got that from a YouTube video about single-photon detectors.
https://i.imgur.com/cN8gfwD_d.jpg
Merv Griffin!
The bible is true:
ChatGPT->Certainly! Here are 29 examples of disagreements or variations found in the New Testament Gospels:
1. The genealogy of Jesus (Matthew 1:1-17; Luke 3:23-38).
2. The nativity narratives (Matthew 2:1-23; Luke 2:1-40).
3. The birthplace of Jesus (Matthew 2:1-6; Luke 2:4-7).
4. The flight to Egypt (Matthew 2:13-15).
5. The massacre of the infants (Matthew 2:16-18).
6. The ministry of John the Baptist (Matthew 3:1-12; Luke 3:1-20).
7. The baptism of Jesus (Matthew 3:13-17; Mark 1:9-11; Luke 3:21-22).
8. The temptation of Jesus (Matthew 4:1-11; Mark 1:12-13; Luke 4:1-13).
9. The sermon on the mount (Matthew 5-7; Luke 6:17-49).
10. The healing of the centurion's servant (Matthew 8:5-13; Luke 7:1-10).
11. The parable of the mustard seed (Matthew 13:31-32; Mark 4:30-32; Luke 13:18-19).
12. The transfiguration of Jesus (Matthew 17:1-9; Mark 9:2-10; Luke 9:28-36).
13. The cleansing of the temple (Matthew 21:12-13; Mark 11:15-17; Luke 19:45-46).
14. The anointing of Jesus (Matthew 26:6-13; Mark 14:3-9; John 12:1-8).
15. The Last Supper (Matthew 26:17-30; Mark 14:12-26; Luke 22:7-38; John 13:1-30).
16. The betrayal of Judas (Matthew 26:14-16; Mark 14:10-11; Luke 22:3-6).
17. The denial of Peter (Matthew 26:69-75; Mark 14:66-72; Luke 22:54-62; John 18:15-18, 25-27).
18. The trial of Jesus (Matthew 26:57-75; Mark 14:53-72; Luke 22:54-71; John 18:12-27).
19. The crucifixion and last words of Jesus (Matthew 27:32-56; Mark 15:21-41; Luke 23:26-49; John 19:16-30).
20. The resurrection narratives (Matthew 28:1-20; Mark 16:1-20; Luke 24:1-53; John 20:1-31).
21. The ascension of Jesus (Mark 16:19-20; Luke 24:50-53; Acts 1:9-11).
22. The appearance of Jesus to his disciples (Matthew 28:16-20; Luke 24:36-49; John 20:19-29).
23. The commissioning of the disciples (Matthew 28:16-20; Mark 16:15-18; Luke 24:44-49; John 20:21-23).
24. The commissioning of Peter (John 21:15-19).
25. The great commission (Matthew 28:16-20; Mark 16:15-18).
26. The feeding of the five thousand (Matthew 14:13-21; Mark 6:30-44; Luke 9:10-17; John 6:1-15).
27. The healing of the blind man (Matthew 20:29-34; Mark 10:46-52; Luke 18:35-43).
28. The timing and details of the resurrection appearances (Matthew 28:1-20; Mark 16:1-20; Luke 24:1-53; John 20-21).
29. The genealogy and background of Joseph (Matthew 1:1-16; Luke 3:23-38).
These examples demonstrate some of the variations and disagreements found in the accounts of the New Testament Gospels. They highlight the diverse perspectives, emphases, and traditions within the Gospel narratives. Scholars and theologians study these differences to gain a deeper understanding of the texts and the historical and theological contexts in which they were written.
Ahem
meh
At any point on the compass a fish could ride a tricycle.
I don't understand any of this, I must be smart.
Hickery dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock, the clock struck one------the other got away.
PASTA DANCIN'!!!!!
I came, I saw, I conked him.
You can fool some of the people some of the time, but it's hard to sleep with a lobster who steals all the covers. 🤔
Evil in the laughter of every child.
Good Cheesus, God is grate!
I can't see the forest, too damned many trees in the way! 🌲🌴🌳🌲🌴🌳🌲🌴🌲🌴🌳🌲🌴🌳🌲🌴🌳🌲🌴🌳🌲🌴🌳🌲🌴🌳
I haven't been to Spain, but the couch is made of mustard.
The mustard in Spain falls mainly on the couch? 🤣
Ramen, Jackie Chan, ramen!
The Moon is always full on Thanksgiving because it eats too much... 🤪
I took a trip to Phan
With Jackie Chan
And a leg of Lamb
And a can of Spam
And a Windsor tan.
In a Chevy Van.
Bananas, I say.
Bananas!
In case of emergency remove all alligators and any humorous undies.
An American wearing a Geisha hairstyle will always be arrested.
(https://luminous-lint.com/imagevault/html_24001_24500/24167_std.jpg)
Not a 'Merkin name!
But it is a merkin name.
I came, I saw, I conked him.
While we're on the subject of atheism, The Rick Copeland's butt really itches...
I enjoy farting. Therefore I am God.
Quote from: caseagainstfaith on March 08, 2025, 09:22:54 AMI enjoy farting. Therefore I am God.
I came, I saw, I farted.
Reminds me of that old TV show, first episode was "Fart Point Station" or something.
I especially like farting in public.
A farting for you thoughts.
Cut the cheese and feel the breeze! 🤪
It's more of a fart than a skill.
Hiatuses are like skates; you never know what you're gonna regret.
Made me pause and think.
Krakens are attracted to lighthouses because they can't read in the dark.
As I pondered, nearly napping, I thought I should really be crapping.