I'm not going to go into specifics, but I've said some horrible things online (nothing illegal & nothing on this website, but still very cruel things) out of anger.
I'm not trying to play the sympathy card, but I've been bullied for most of my life (online and in real life);
and, not trying to make excuses for myself, I just let it get to me and I took my anger out on some people that didn't deserve it (verbally of course).
I stopped doing it about a couple of weeks ago, and I want to just move on with my life.
How do I move on from this?
Live your life and let those who don't like that fade away.
Don't forget your actions, but accept you can't change them.
Make amends where possible.
Move on where forgiveness is not given.
I hate my past pubescent self.
I was an entitled shithead.
I accepted i needed to do better.
To be better.
I changed some habits. Began working out more. Made an effort to listen more than i spoke. Tried to see my own fault more in the things that went wrong in my life. Consciously told myself that i couldn' expect other to like me without good reason. That i wasn't that smart or kind or all around good. Accepted that part of me getting bullied and ostracized wasn't due to 'them' being blind to my obvious brilliance, but because i was a weird, anti-social, unpleasant, pious fat, annoying kid with little respect for his own body and even less for his peers. And while i don't condone all of the bullying they sent my way, it was a natural way of showing i needed to stop trying to always stand out and needed to conform to the norm and traditions more.
I needed to be a lot more humble, because my ego was out of control.
I am happier now, than i have ever been. All because i began accepting i wasn't special.
Not sure if that helps you. If it feels familiar? But i hope you find your path.
Quote from: Mr.Obvious on January 20, 2023, 04:14:15 PMDon't forget your actions, but accept you can't change them.
Make amends where possible.
Move on where forgiveness is not given.
I hate my past pubescent self.
I was an entitled shithead.
I accepted i needed to do better.
To be better.
I changed some habits. Began working out more. Made an effort to listen more than i spoke. Tried to see my own fault more in the things that went wrong in my life. Consciously told myself that i couldn' expect other to like me without good reason. That i wasn't that smart or kind or all around good. Accepted that part of me getting bullied and ostracized wasn't due to 'them' being blind to my obvious brilliance, but because i was a weird, anti-social, unpleasant, pious fat, annoying kid with little respect for his own body and even less for his peers. And while i don't condone all of the bullying they sent my way, it was a natural way of showing i needed to stop trying to always stand out and needed to conform to the norm and traditions more.
I needed to be a lot more humble, because my ego was out of control.
I am happier now, than i have ever been. All because i began accepting i wasn't special.
Not sure if that helps you. If it feels familiar? But i hope you find your path.
Thanks for the advice, man.
Lots of things you could do. If one path seems just as likely to provide healing as another, just pick one-and know that you can try something else to heal if that doesn't work.
I see two issues. One of anger-knowing how to express it and what to do with it in a healthy way. Another of old wounds. Both need addresses to move on. Your anger needs to be felt and released, needs an outlet for when it's overwhelming. Likewise whatever pain crops up around your history of bullying, needs to have space to be felt and released. Otherwise, your anger and past wounds are likely to continue plaguing you. There's lots of simple things you could try on your own, or various counseling.
Hoʻoponopono might seem rather woowoo, but there is huge power for transformation in these four phrases... "I'm sorry. Please give me. Thank you. I love you."
I have yet to find any personal situation that would not be solved by those phrases, if truly meant. I've had huge shifts from just the practice of truly meaning those things as I said them, while holding myself or others as the recipient.
Sometimes I indulge in imagining people who have hurt me, saying these 4 things to me. I've been surprised how cathartic that is.
This is actually a simple cure. When online, respond as if the person is sitting across from you. If you are really contrite about something you said online....FFS, you are a no-one on line. Stop thinking that people on line consider your words with the same reaction they would if you were in front of them. Perhaps you think you have some grand importance to their life just because you think you are all that. Get over yourself....you ain't all that. They forgot about you already.
Speak (or type) to people in a way that you would like to be spoken (or typed) to.
Easier said than done, but worth a try.
Yeah, the Golden Rule works just as well on line as it does in meat space.