Sorry, It's long.
Hi, everyone, I'm new here! And so far enjoy having an Atheist comunity to relate with and have help. Well, now onto my point...I live with my parents (I'm in high school) they are Catholic. We also live in a County with high populations of Catholics, Presbiterian, Baptists, ect, and I don't believe any of that stuff. I've had "friends" who I thought I could open up with about being a "non-believer" well anyway the first words out of his god praising, knee bending, head bowing, talking to himself, idiot mouth was "You're going to hell and will burn forever!" He was so far the only jerk about it, my girlfriend (on/off) and encourage me to be open about it. (She's Presbiterian. He's Catholic) Most of friends don't care or want me to believer, one of my brothers know.
Now to my question, how should I tell my parents? I've been hinting, but they're not very smart or observant. I'm planing on joining the Navy once I graduat high school and am thinking about telling them when I'm not at home. I'm not asking for a full blown answer just tips. so thank you for even reading this!!!
Everyone is so different it's hard to say which way would be best for you and your parents. I personally wish that I had never told my parents I am atheist. If you think that they might need some time to mull it over you might wait until you are gone and then let them know in a carefully worded letter. That would give them time to get used to the idea before they see you again in person. If they are less high strung you might bring it up in casual conversation. "Did you see (insert shitty event from the news) this morning? I just don't see how anyone could believe there is a loving god watching over us!" That might get the conversation started in a non confrontational way.
Quote from: "Jelly Penutbutter"Sorry, It's long.
Hi, everyone, I'm new here! And so far enjoy having an Atheist comunity to relate with and have help. Well, now onto my point...I live with my parents (I'm in high school) they are Catholic. We also live in a County with high populations of Catholics, Presbiterian, Baptists, ect, and I don't believe any of that stuff. I've had "friends" who I thought I could open up with about being a "non-believer" well anyway the first words out of his god praising, knee bending, head bowing, talking to himself, idiot mouth was "You're going to hell and will burn forever!" He was so far the only jerk about it, my girlfriend (on/off) and encourage me to be open about it. (She's Presbiterian. He's Catholic) Most of friends don't care or want me to believer, one of my brothers know.
Now to my question, how should I tell my parents? I've been hinting, but they're not very smart or observant. I'm planing on joining the Navy once I graduat high school and am thinking about telling them when I'm not at home. I'm not asking for a full blown answer just tips. so thank you for even reading this!!!
I told both my parents (by accident) when they looked over my shoulder to see my desk top. It had the Atheism demotivator. "There isn't a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow either."
"What's this crap?" My dad said.
"lolz wtf is dis shit atheists buleaf in treez!" My mother said.
Now granted, they are both easy going enough folks. My dad is anyways. I got off lucky, and I understand that a lot of people probably will not.
Quote from: "Jelly Penutbutter"Sorry, It's long.
Hi, everyone, I'm new here! And so far enjoy having an Atheist comunity to relate with and have help. Well, now onto my point...I live with my parents (I'm in high school) they are Catholic. We also live in a County with high populations of Catholics, Presbiterian, Baptists, ect, and I don't believe any of that stuff. I've had "friends" who I thought I could open up with about being a "non-believer" well anyway the first words out of his god praising, knee bending, head bowing, talking to himself, idiot mouth was "You're going to hell and will burn forever!" He was so far the only jerk about it, my girlfriend (on/off) and encourage me to be open about it. (She's Presbiterian. He's Catholic) Most of friends don't care or want me to believer, one of my brothers know.
Now to my question, how should I tell my parents? I've been hinting, but they're not very smart or observant. I'm planing on joining the Navy once I graduat high school and am thinking about telling them when I'm not at home. I'm not asking for a full blown answer just tips. so thank you for even reading this!!!
Well once you are out on your own, it should not matter. And if they love you as much as you might like, they won't disown you. I have been an atheist for almost 20 years and my mother still thinks it is a "phase". But to her credit she listens to my arguments much of the time, agrees with some of them but still clings to her own superstition. I love her and she is always my biggest supporter.
We really cant advise you because each case is different. I have cut off my own older brother not because I want to, but because every time I met him, as an adult because I was adopted and found him later, he sucked the life out of me preaching to me about being condemned to hell. Other family members such as my adoptive mom have not had that same attitude. So it really relies on you and what you think and how you want to deal with them after you tell them.
Do you have to tell them?
Quote from: "Mermaid"Do you have to tell them?
I would avoid it if possible.
I would feel better if they did know, they constantly get me religiose "gifts"
Quote from: "Jelly Penutbutter"Sorry, It's long.
Hi, everyone, I'm new here! And so far enjoy having an Atheist comunity to relate with and have help. Well, now onto my point...I live with my parents (I'm in high school) they are Catholic. We also live in a County with high populations of Catholics, Presbiterian, Baptists, ect, and I don't believe any of that stuff. I've had "friends" who I thought I could open up with about being a "non-believer" well anyway the first words out of his god praising, knee bending, head bowing, talking to himself, idiot mouth was "You're going to hell and will burn forever!" He was so far the only jerk about it, my girlfriend (on/off) and encourage me to be open about it. (She's Presbiterian. He's Catholic) Most of friends don't care or want me to believer, one of my brothers know.
Now to my question, how should I tell my parents? I've been hinting, but they're not very smart or observant. I'm planing on joining the Navy once I graduat high school and am thinking about telling them when I'm not at home. I'm not asking for a full blown answer just tips. so thank you for even reading this!!!
As far as I can tell there isn't a best way. I sat down with my parents and straight up told them, and that worked for me. My recommendation: If you think they'll be shocked or upset, don't say it casually/off the cuff. If it's a big deal for them, it'll be all the more painful if you just mention it in light conversation. A well thought-out letter, or a one-on-one(two?) conversation, or something like that would show them you understand the weight of the matter, even if what you're ultimately telling them is not something they'd like to hear.
Anyway, that's if you think they'll consider it a big deal. Good luck!
Get out on your own as soon as possible! And be glad they love you enough to get you presents. Why tell them? [-X Solitary
Welcome!
As for your issue, I would feel it out. In otherwords like Elohim said, everyone is different. Even though you could describe your parents to us as much as possible, you have a better guage of what would an appropriate way to tell them.
In case of the off chance that you never heard of Epicurus, he nails it with something he said over 2000 years ago.
"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"
Maybe the way to bring it up isn't to just say it, but to ask, "What does this mean to you guys?" That way you can see thier thoughts on things... And if you think they aren't going to be too harsh on you by telling them about your atheism it's a good way to segway in to you letting them know with them already knowing your concern and thought process.
Quote from: "Jelly Penutbutter"I would feel better if they did know, they constantly get me religiose "gifts"
Which is proof positive that you probably should not tell them just yet. Wait until you're over 18 and no longer dependent on them for a place to live, then tell them. If you do it sooner you run a very high risk of ending up in 'my house, my rules' territory and nothing good ever comes from that.
I totally understand the desire to tell them ASAP. But I also understand how miserable life can become when telling parents things they might not want to hear while still being young enough for them to consider you a child and legally able to treat you as such.
Quoteor a one-on-one(two?) conversation
Don't set people down for a one-on-two conversation, because usually one will drag the other down because each is afraid to go against their partner. If you have that talk, do it one-on-one, and start with the one you think is least likely to explode and immediately tell the other.
(If you think both will explode, you should probably not tell them at all for the time being)
If I wait until I'm out of their house when (in your opinion) be the best time/way to tell them?
Quote from: "Jelly Penutbutter"how should I tell my parents?
What makes you think that you should even tell them?
[youtube:qn9d4af9]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOBRnJABV80[/youtube:qn9d4af9]
The answer is simple.
Mom, dad.. I'm a grown up and don't believe in the same things you do. I still love you and always will.
If they disown you then you know where you stand. If not and still love you you'll know where you stand.
Quote from: "Jason78"Quote from: "Jelly Penutbutter"how should I tell my parents?
What makes you think that you should even tell them?
I'd say the same about gays. It is often for the person in the closet more torture being silent than it would be to simply be out. Is there risk? Of course. I'd say youth have it much harder since they are wards of their parents. But even in the worst case if someone as an adult does get disowned by family, they can find other atheists and even other accepting theist friends.
My younger sister got raked over the coals by many members of our family once she came out as an atheist. But she is an adult and has two kids of her own and a husband. She can tell you flat out she feels much better not having to hide it and pretend. It is a tough road no matter what one decides, and only the person in it can best gauge when and how to do it, or if they do it.
Quote from: "Jelly Penutbutter"If I wait until I'm out of their house when (in your opinion) be the best time/way to tell them?
It's impossible for anyone who doesn't know both you and them personally to answer that.
I'm sort of in the same boat. I basically shut down all religious talk with my parents and show no interest in going to church/doing church activities. Honestly I would try and wait until you're on your own. Now I don't know how strong your relationship with your parents is but since you're young and need them, at least for a bit more, to provide for you why do/say something to hurt that. You have to look out for you and as much as I hate to say it; it may be better to swallow your pride and go along with it as painlessly as possible. Just until you're financially independent at the very least.
One of my relatives just came out to his parents last week. They threw him out of the house and burned everything he had at home, leaving him homeless and with nothing but the clothes he was standing in. Very Christian of them.
Don't come out if it is going to put you at risk. If the believers can lie for Jesus you can lie to save your ass. Be patient, you don't have to live with them forever.
"Fuck your god" works but is not recommended.
Quote from: "Gawdzilla Sama"One of my relatives just came out to his parents last week. They threw him out of the house and burned everything he had at home, leaving him homeless and with nothing but the clothes he was standing in. Very Christian of them.
Don't come out if it is going to put you at risk. If the believers can lie for Jesus you can lie to save your ass. Be patient, you don't have to live with them forever.
Shit. Really sad to hear that. Some people have to learn the same painful lessons all over again.
Stab them and eat their organs. After all we have no morals, so they should know after that.
Casually scrape Jesus off your toast into the garbage disposal in the morning.. :)