Ethics and moralityl when i seem to have no Instructions Book

[Daniel]

S So my question is relating to Atheism, and how i can resolve moral ethical questions, regarding guilt and forgiveness over my past mistakes, i can't get past..Raised Catholic, but i have no concrete place or person to grant me forgiveness, no confessional booth to say my flaws and sins, and be forgiven with a 'four Hail Mary's' punishment...I can't seem to let my mistakes go; and i have lost friends and created enemies by the wrongs i've done, though i am not 100% sure what i did was wrong in the first place.
I AM HOPING FOR SOME FEEDBACK; I NEITHER NEED OR WANT OR EXPECT YOU TO GRANT ME FORGIVENESS OR ABSOLUTION,,I just want some perspective, when I don't really believe in a forgiving God, and then are left with the question, 'How do i resolve my guilt and move on..?"
Personal things; i didn't commit murder, rape, arson, molestation, etc, I didn't do anything really so illegal really, but certainly my mistakes are 'ethically illegal', and i got no time to be served for it, to erase it..

[stromboli]

Okay, to put this in a ballpark understanding, I was raised Mormon, converted to Christianity and am now an atheist for about the last six years. My first comment would be that you are still thinking in the theistic framework. Forgiveness from an atheist perspective does not come from an outside source but from yourself. Ultimately, even if you are the most devout of believers, if you do not at some point internalize that forgiveness, you won't find it.

Not knowing what your particular situation is, understand that religion is built on the concepts of guilt, fear, judgment and condemnation; what I call the 4 cornerstones. Sin is a concept that is an invention of theism. We believe in being moral in both the legal sense and in the humanistic sense, in that we share this planet with other human beings and other species. we believe essentially in the Constitutional Bill of Rights and in not condemning people for things that religion would call sin, such as lust, envy, jealousy or things spoken to as sinful in nature. We also believe in the moral and ethical treatment of other species, which is not to say we are vegetarians or Buddhists, although some people are.

[TomFoolery]

Perhaps it would help if you could explain what you define as an ethical mistake outside of crime that causes you to feel guilt?

[Solitary]

If you made mistakes because of Christian morality which is just their take on what is moral don't feel guilty, because they taught you to feel guilty for their puritan bull shit. The idea that religion gives us the correct morality is a bunch of bull. Even my dogs know when they do right and wrong. How much brain power does it take to know what you don't want done to you, you shouldn't do to other sentient creatures, including animals? There are things we are born with that make us who we are that are not always a choice, and to condemned people because they don't fit the mold of religious dogma is just bigotry justified by 2,000+ plus years of religious text by ignorant people thinking they had knowledge when all they had is ignorance. And don't forget the hypocrisy of Christians that don't practice what they preach, especially the religious authorities that are the worst offenders. Morality has been around a hell of a lot longer than any religion, there are atheist tribes that are still more moral than any religion, even though they go around nude, and don't even have a word for hate, war, or sin. Solitary

[the_antithesis]

'How do i resolve my guilt and move on..?"

You need to:

• act like a grown-up
• take responsibility for your actions and try to make amends
• let it go and move on with your fucking life when you can't
  
  

[Mike Cl]

Daniel, take heed to what the_antithesis said.  This is my take on 'acting like a grown up'.  If you think you have done wrong, then own up to it, make it right if you can.  Fix it, if it is fixable.  If not, then understand why you did it a remember it as a lesson on what not to do.  If it causes you pain look at it carefully and try to figure out where that pain is coming from.  Any why.  If you can, fix it.  If not it is a lesson learned.  Forgiveness comes from only one place--that is within you.  It means you understand what you did and why you are not going to do it again.  People will then tell you to forget it.  But forgiveness is not about forgetting, it is about accepting.  So, accept that you have done all you can do to atone for whatever you did--or did not do.  Then forgive yourself, which means you understand what happened and why.  Each time you revisit that pain, forgive yourself again--acknowledge that you now understand what happened and why.  Do that process each time you think of it.  Forgiveness is much like grief--you may never forget, but each time that feeling is accessed the less it hurts.  So, forgiveness is not a one-step operation--it is an ongoing process.