Silly, Lazy, and Clever Ways to solve paradoxes.

[dtq123]

Just for shits and giggles, and of course I'm not doing all of them

Edit: Find the contradictions between answers. Have fun!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paradoxes

Barber Paradox- The barber does not shave at all. Ew.

Crocodile Dilemma- The Crocodile Lied.

Paradox of the Court- One Hell of a smart teacher.

Petronius' paradox- Go fucking crazy with everything, Including Extremism.

Ship of Theseus- How much do you value the old over the new parts? The one with more value is your ship.

Sorites paradox- Why are you measuring in heaps? They don't exist!

Interesting Number Paradox- Now there why no such thing as boring numbers.

Potato Paradox- Ratios! 2:98 = 49, or 50 Rounded!

Zeno's Paradox(es)- Infinity can be reduced to finite sizes.

Banachâ€"Tarski paradox- If you have in infinite amount of dots on a sphere, of course you can make a clone!

Abilene paradox- They're all acting in Bad Faith. (Kudos to you if you get it)

Buridan's ass- You flip a coin, spin a spinner, or roll a dice. Better yet, use a number generator.

Hedgehog's Dilemma- Would you rather be tortured and enjoy it, or hate it?

Newcomb's paradox- Don't play a game with them.

Paradox of tolerance- Intolerance isn't always bad. We don't tolerate murder.

Prisoner's dilemma- Selfishness does not benefit everyone. Only if both are nice do they get it best.

Irresistible force paradox- Since both do not accelerate, they must pass through each other.

Archer's paradox- There is something called wind to account for.

Hydrostatic paradox- Floating on water is based on density, not size. A boat's density is less than the density of water, no matter how large (Or it's not a boat).

Tea leaf paradox- Your spoon pushes the leafs into the center.

Upstream contamination- Gravity pushes down, but lighter particles float to the top anyway. As long as it is lighter, it will float to the top of any water that is connected.

Bentley's paradox- This point may lay outside of of the observable universe.

Boltzmann brain- Poor Argument of Probability.

Fermi paradox- Beings lie outside of observable universe.

Olbers' paradox- Stars may lie outside observable universe.

Quantum pseudo-telepathy- Quantum Universe makes a connection between the two, and we're just in the universe where the Quantum favors winning.

Quantum Zeno effect- Would you change your clothes if someone was looking?

Schrödinger's cat paradox- You could do whatever you want as long as no one is looking.

Peto's paradox- Humans have more hormonal imbalances and poor genetic consistency. You don't see many mutations in other animals!

Bootstrap paradox- Alternate universe excuse!

Temporal paradox- Alternate universe excuse!

Code-talker paradox- Those who know it are enabled; those who don't, aren't.

Buridan's bridge- Socrates used Confusion. Plato is Confused. Socrates does whatever he wants.

Paradox of hedonism- Happiness itself is brought by other things.

Meno's Paradox- Why are you searching for what you know?

This all I'm going to do for now, Maybe I'll do one with more jokes later.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

I'd love to say that I enjoyed reading all of these and have solutions, but. ..... I didn't and don't.

[dtq123]

I'd love to say that I enjoyed reading all of these and have solutions, but. ..... I didn't and don't.

It's ok, It's not for one sitting ;P

[Baruch]

Sorites paradox is a favorite ... but the answer is ... extending the integers below one, thru zero to negative integers.  The ancient Greeks couldn't do this ... it took a Buddhist to invent the zero, and other Indians to invent the numbers later borrowed by the Arabs and then we borrowed from the Arabs.  Then your heap can have zero or negative grains of sand.  You need to do this to solve some elementary word problems.

If your weigh each grain of sand, since they are not homogeneous, you need the real number field.  If you count pairs of grains of sand, and the pair is an ordered pair (one grain is the first grain, the other grain is the second grain) then you have the complex integer field if you just count grains, but if you measure their weight you have the complex number field.  If you have a positive number of grains, and you ask the question, how many heaps can I make, the number of heaps you can make depends on if the grains are distinguishable or not (do you weigh them?).  Now a set with no members (or a heap with no grains) is the null set in set theory.

If you ask how many null sets (empty heaps) can I make out of my positive number of grain of sand, then you are dividing by zero ... which isn't illegal, it is just problematic ... the answer in this case being you add a "point at infinity" to the complex number field ... and that point (a kind of infinity, there are several kinds) has the same answer for all positive numerators (except zero numerator).  Using various kinds of infinity, gets you into all sorts of difficulties ... some of which are also solvable ... except in some cases the problem has no answer in the sense that the answer isn't any kind of number at all.  It could be controversial if you count various kinds of infinity as a number, but that is how it is taken.

[Munch]

I've never understood how the Schrödinger's cat paradox can be classed as a paradox. The question boils down to is the cat dead or isn't it. How is that a paradox? It seems more like an unsolved mystery more then something paradoxical

[Hydra009]

Fermi paradox- Beings lie outside of observable universe.

Or aliens are uninterested in space exploration (or uninterested in Earth - the Earth of just a few hundred years ago could look pretty humdrum to an alien civilization a few hundred light years away).  Or humans have missed or yet to receive extraterrestrial transmissions (or they're in a medium unknown to us, much like how radio was unknown to us until recently).  Or while life is fairly common, technologically-advanced civilizations are extremely rare.  Or the conditions required for technologically-advanced civilizations have only recently been achieved (much like they were for us) and we're one of the first technologically-advanced civilizations.

[Baruch]

Schrödinger's cat paradox - the paradox is that quantum mechanics tell this with a straight face.  But some do ... one professor (young guy in Canada) I watched recently on YouTube said that everyone is alive and dead at the same time, we simply aren't smart enough to see it.  A many-worlds advocate.  As I have posted before, a beginning quantum mechanic doesn't realize what they are doing doesn't make sense, even though it produces the correct answers.  A mature quantum mechanic does realize this.  There isn't one accepted definition of what quantum mechanics is ... just how to use it.  Sort of like scratch cooking without a recipe.  The "just shut up and calculate" faction even takes the position that it doesn't matter what it is, so long as the answers are numerically correct (or the mystery meal tastes good).  Basically we are monkeys pseudo-randomly typing out the Encyclopedia Britannica at the British Museum (old probability joke).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zhq8_63SrvU ... just watch the first part, unless you want to see a brilliant yet elementary description of what happens with quantum mechanics.

Fact is, Dr Schrödinger was a looney, who was good at math, and lucky to stumble on a computationally useful technique (better than Dr Bohr's) at the right time and place (1920s Germany).  Dr Feynman had his own personal devils too.  All of us are cranks, but not all cranks are professors of crankiness.

[Hakurei Reimu]

Fermi Paradox- Optimists' answer: The gulf between stars is too hard and expensive to cross, and as such all civilizations are protected by the great void between stars. Any signals are unrecognizable as such due to differences in how information is encoded. We have received signals; they just look like noise. 

Pessimists' answer: Given the trajectory of our current civilization, technologically sophisticated civilizations do not live on the geological time scales necessary to colonize the galaxy or communicate with other civilizations. 

[Baruch]

Any sufficiently advanced society chooses sequestration and austerity over mere survival.  Ideology, yeah!