Started by Solomon Zorn, September 15, 2013, 02:32:56 AM
Quote from: "Solomon Zorn"Sorry it took me so long to respond, Myke, my computer got stolen by crack-heads and I still haven't replaced it. So I'm only online every other weekend. Anyway...great work! I especially liked the first one's subversive undertones. The second one actually has me worried about you! But it really captures the whole experience.I actually saw your post a while ago, but didn't have time to respond. It got me thinking about poetry in general though, an so I put some of my thoughts on the subject into writing. Here's what I came up with:[center:2pn5d8z7]On PoetrySolomon Zorn[/center:2pn5d8z7] I don't write much free-form poetry. Although it's lofty language lifts the limits of simple prose, and presently progresses into a lot of alliteration, I feel the reader will find it ponderous. It's capable of evoking an emotional response, but I prefer more structured forms.Rhyme and meterNeed to beChallengingLinguisticallyRhythm adds A new dimensionThoughts aligningIn progressionPoetry is evolutionAdvancing in stagesGrowing branchesSelecting traitsDefining functionsAdapting to the repeating patterns of wordsMaking them serve the central themeStructure is environmentEstablishing parametersLimiting expressionSuggesting tangentsSeparating ideasAdapting to the unpredictable flow of thoughtsMaking them serve the central themeA poem A childTaking his own pathNot forced Not restrainedOnly guidedA poemA performerEntertaining the readerNot trivialNot mundaneOnly inspiredConsider:EmotionAudienceMessageBrevityThe uneducated hick gets down from his soapbox an resumes watching television.
Quote from: "Solomon Zorn"I like that one, Myke. =D> In fact my only criticism would be that you misspelled "philosophical." #-o Actually there is one thing: I didn't understand what you meant by "...only knowing when." That phrase confused me a little. :-k And I'm sorry I didn't get around to critiquing your short story. I'm at a creative slowdown in my own writing, and have been struggling with a few things all weekend. I only have access to my sister's computer every other weekend, so I have a lot of accumulated writing to type up and polish.Let me just say that I think it's an interesting little bunch of twists for a very short story, and I really would like to see you rewrite it from the point of view of one of the characters. My choice would be the cop. But don't reveal too much of what he's thinking. Keep the twists unfolding in the same manner.Just curious, Myke: How old are you? Have you had any college level writing classes?I'm 47, and although I frequently refer to myself as an uneducated hick, I actually attended bible-college from 1985-1987, and took Creative Writing 101 as well as Logic 101. (I actually could have opted out of Comp and Grammar because I received a perfect score on the writing portion of the A.C.T.) But I still consider myself to be uneducated, because I don't have formal education in any field that would yield any specialized knowledge about the world, if you understand what I mean. I have a PBS education.
Quote from: Brian37There is a reason we write poetry, so I like the motif of "why" as a subject.However, I do get down on people who insist it go a certain way. What does all the meter and code language mean if the message is lost? I've heard poems and read poems I love that are simplistic.Poetry to me is ultimately the message and all it has to do is work for the reader.
Quote from: "mykcob4"I have 2 degrees. I'll be 56 in two weeks. I started college, or rather ended college late as in between I had a complete military career that lasted 22 years+. No I don't have any formal writing training perse, just the basics.I write in the venacular. I always compose runon sentences. I lack puncuation and spelling skills. When I write I am basically talking out loud. I become a character not necessarily in the story, but of the same ilk as the story. For example if I actually wrote Sherlock Holmes, I would smoke a pipe, wear a cap and Mac to write the story. I often draw about what I am writing, so if I'm using a legal pad it's covered with graffity.
Quote from: "Solomon Zorn"Well I was on fire this week!Since last Friday, I have written three more poems, two political cartoons, 30 stanzas of proverbs, a short essay, and ten pages of outline for an X-Men sequel! 8-) I got up at 6AM yesterday, and started writing this one:[center:3296omay]The SalesmanSolomon ZornHe sold you a bookThat's based on a storyBy people who lookFor post-mortum gloryDid you buy it?He sold you a mythThat's based on traditionOf conquering deathAnd that was his missionDid you buy it?He sold you adviceThat's based on a notionThat walks the thin lineOf doubt-free devotionDid you buy it?He sold you a lightThat's based on a lieHe told you a frightOf after you dieDid you buy it? He sold you a fearThat's based on a threatOf burning and tearsAnd endless regretDid you buy it?He sold you a cellThat's based on your guiltControlling you wellWith fears that you feltDid you buy it?He sold you a LordWho's based on himselfHe promised rewardAnd scared you with HellDid you buy it?He sold you a taleThat's based on religionAnd wrapped up the saleWhat was your decision?Did you buy it?[/center:3296omay]
Quote from: "Anonymousjane"Hello. I couldn't sleep and it's almost 3am so I'll force myself to in a few moments. Please provide your feedback. I enjoy reading what's posted on this thread, too. Thank you for allowing me to share mine here.This girl I knewFell madly in loveShe was loyal and trueHer spirits high up aboveSix seven years passedHer love didn't lastThis girl I once knewFell madly once againOverwhelming feelings grewHigh spirits' confusion beganOver a year went byHis shattered soul bid goodbyeNow getting back on her feetShe criedWhy do we fuckin fallHe liedTo learn how to get ourselves back upThis girl I once knew was meDoing my very best you seeLife is for the living.This is how I let go.AltThis girl I once knew was meTrying to get back on my feetWhy do we fall, I criedSo we can learn to get ourselves back up, he lied.Life is for the living.I must let go.