Zombie Survival Plan

Moloth · Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 7:57 pm Post subject:

Look, I'll stop and ask for directions when i see someone who doesn't look like they'll literally eat my face off.

And, now you kids back there SHUT UP, or so help me i'll stop this armored monster truck RIGHT NOW. We'll just open the doors and toss you two out to the Zed.

Alright.

thats what i thought.

Now who wants McDonalds? I'm starving.
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Last edited by Moloth on Tue Feb 30, 2026 13:61 am; edited 426 times in total

Specus_Meretricis · Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 5:21 am Post subject:

Moloth · Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:13 am Post subject:

BanditJack · Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 7:27 pm Post subject: Sniper Superiority

I don't know what some of you have planned, just don't try to pull me into some of your twisted plans. All I know is that I'm a damn good sniper, and I will put that skill to devastatingly good use. I don't expect to come into close contact with anything of an undead nature, but if it became necessary, I'd prefer to be carrying a nice pistol, like a M1911A1 Colt. If that isn't a possibility, we will go to the ever trusty trench spike thank you very much. Any angle is good for brain cavity insertion, I don't see what the problem is. I, however, think that a motorcycle or technical (pickup truck with a gun stand on the back) is the way to go in zombie escape. I would want to add some guard rails on the tech though.

lafcadio · Intern Joined: 29 Apr 2005 Posts: 29 Local time: 3:10 PM

all the vehicle people are forgetting that you may be going over things which could cause you to hit the ground if you have any texture to your path... say a pile of corpses or off road driving (necessary to avoid the writing masses of metropolitans)

the cattle guard is a good idea but it really fails once you have left flat ground... and if its raised very high to solve this problem you run into the issue of zombies merely being knocked down and grabbing on to the bottom of your vehicle waiting for the gas to fall to empty and for you to step out just in time for them to grab your ankle causing your quick demise into the world of zombiedom...

vehicles seem good but should only be used to create a gap between yourself and the z warriors... at which point you need to abandon the vehicle with keys still in the ignition for some other fool to use (we all know that zombies can't drive)

Philosophos · Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:53 am Post subject:

Nimitz · Guest Local time: 3:10 PM

haunterex · Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 5:41 am Post subject:

Hope it's not too late to join the party...

I always pondered about this topic, here's what i would do if there is a zombie breakout:
- I would wear biker equipments. Those padded leather jackets and pants are tough and not too heavy. A biker helmet would at least provide some protection for the head, and if you combined that with those leather jackets that cover the neck, you are very well protected already. Gloves are necessary as well. For those of us that cant get our hands on miltary wears, it seems the next best thing.
- have a backpack to carry shits, and here are some of the items i would bring:
a portable GPS device,
a flashlight that has radio built into it and is rechargable by kinetic energy,
some basic medic kits,
swiss arm knifes,
a small soldering kit,
those all in one screw driver.
Flare.
binoculars.
Night vision goggles if available.

-as for firearms, pistols are necessary i think, even though ammos will become an issue. But at least it will buy you a few extra moments to live. Deagle would be my choice of firearm, i know it's a bad choice but i am sticking with it.
i wouldnt get shotguns because the reload time and the capacity of ammo are just too much of a disadvantage.
Sniper rifle would be my other choice. Good for defending the keep when settled down in a barricaded area. Precision is key when defending barricaded buildings. For other situations, i will go with my pistols or melee weapons.

-but personally, i would rather carry a melee weapon.
why? unlimited usage, and if you use it right, you can defend urself better in desperate situation then firearms. And i always been an ancient warfare freak, so i have a deep affection for melee weapons such as swords and spears and tridents.

I would definitely carry a katana. It's light and deadly, and you just need moderate strength to use a sword. Remember, you are chopping decay flesh here. And there are many ways to wield a sword and a lot depends on the foot work as well.

Maybe even get a sickle with a chain attached to the end, so in situation when i am surrounding, i would just swingin it in a circle and clear myself a way out. This of course, we are assuming the zombies are like 'dead rising' or 'dawn of the dead' type of zombies. If it's like the type in '28 days laters', then its a different ball game.

Last but and not least, a crowbar.
why? so i could go gordon freeman on the zombies, break doors, and kill any head crabs if they do exist hahahaah

CET · Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 3:16 pm Post subject:

CET · Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 3:22 pm Post subject:

Nimitz · Guest Local time: 3:10 PM

MORE BREAKING ZOMBIE NEWS!

theonion.com

Zombie Nutritionist Recommends All-Brain Diet

STONY BROOK, NY—In a dramatic reversal of decades-old medical wisdom, the late Dr. Albert Rossum, director of the O'Bannon Institute For Postmortem Nutritional Studies, recommended an all-brain diet for zombies Tuesday.

Our research indicates that live human brains are not merely the cornerstone of a healthy diet; they are, in fact, the only food an active adult zombie should consume at all," Rossum said during a press conference at the institute, located at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. "A daily three-pound serving of brains supplies all the vital sugars, neurons, and ganglia essential to promoting zombie fitness and slowing the decomposition process."

The Rossum Plan challenges the traditional zombie food pyramid, which consists of five to seven daily servings of human hearts, three to four servings of livers or eyeballs, and two servings of brains. Instead, Rossum advocates a four-level pyramid, with all four levels consisting of as many servings of brains as possible.

"Ideally, the brains should be consumed fresh from the head of the victim," said Rossum, widely considered the nation's leading expert in the field of undead nutrition. "However, precious scraps of brain may also be pried from the fingers of other brain-crazed zombies. Failing that, dropped brains may be slurped from the ground by a third party to such a scuffle."

Added Rossum: "Braaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnns!"

Nutritionists at the Romero Foundation For Zombie Health, the nation's oldest zombie-health organization, were dismissive of Rossum's announcement.

"The O'Bannon Institute's plan is a reckless fad diet," the late Dr. Vincent Peters said. "Five servings each day from the neurosensory group, made up of the brain, spinal column, and nervous system, as well as from the vascular, digestive, and pulmonary groups, are the best way to maintain robust zombie health. It is an established fact."

Told of Peters' remarks, Rossum strenuously disagreed, citing recent tests conducted by his institute.

"Studies have shown that zombies who follow the Romero school of nutrition can be stopped with a single bullet to the brainstem," Rossum said. "On the other hand, our exhaustive studies conclusively show that the newer, fitter breed of zombies who adhere to an all-brain diet cannot be subdued by anything short of total incineration."

Rossum's detractors are quick to point out that a high percentage of zombies in his studies are young accidental-death victims, many still in their teens, recruited from the punk-rock-fan community. Such individuals, critics charge, are too healthy and recently deceased to be reliable subjects in long-term dietary studies.

Critics also charge that a diet consisting entirely of brains would not be likely to attract many followers due to its monotonous nature. Rossum again disagreed.

"There is still ample room for dietary variety in this plan," Rossum said. "One day, you might make a spicy South Of The Border treat of a Mexican person's brains. The next, you could enjoy the Far East taste sensation of an Asian. There are so many different kinds of heads to tear open, there's no reason ever to get bored."

Rossum then stepped down from the podium and descended upon New York Times photographer Dennis Levitan, cracking his skull open and devouring his brains.
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