Joined: 07 Dec 2008 Posts: 4550 Local time: 2:30 PM
Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:14 pm Post subject:
heXed wrote:
I was walking along a high cliff one day and saw a little girl, all alone and she was crying. I asked her,
"Dear, what are you doing up here all alone?" She replied, with tears in her eyes,
"My mum's down there at the bottom. She fell!"
"That's terrible!" I said. "And your dad?"
"He's down there right next to her. He tried to save her and he fell too!"
"That's awful!" I said. We shared a quiet moment there, together, looking out at the sky over that grand cliff. And then, when she asked me why I was unbuckling my belt, I told her, "Darling, today just isn't your day."
Well, I thought it was about time for a few more...
Our local vet provides a grooming service.
Yesterday he introduced me to this cute six-year-old he befriended online.
How do you know when it's bedtime in Michael Jackson's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
The Government has announced struggling pupils are to get one-to-one help with the "Three Rs". Great idea. I did that with my kids.
Rohypnol, rimming and rape.
I am a primary school teacher, and today I was given the honor of being able to enter some of my class in a competition.
I managed to beat the headmaster by five schoolgirls to one.
What's a paedophile's favourite part of a hockey game?
Before the First Period
My wife says she will kick me out if she finds out I have any "skeletons in my closet" - but the joke's on her because the tykes in my closet are still alive.
Ok, there's my deviance for the day... More will follow!
Yeah, I realize that I've complete disregarded the format of the jokes being asked for, but I hope the OP isn't too bothered by that. I have a few more jokes to post and then I'm starting a dead baby thread. My goal is to have the joke folder full of twisted shit before I'm done, lol...
What's worse then fucking a 3 year old?
Hearing her complain she's had better.
I've just been dumped by my girlfriend and need revenge.
A while ago we filmed ourselves having sex and a friend suggested I put the tape on the internet and make sure everyone she knows sees it, to really humiliate her.
Then I realized there are laws against distributing child pornography.
What do you do when you've just had a baby?
Put its nappy back on.
What's the best thing about role play during sex?
You can make your eight year old daughter pretend she's only six.
Why is it better to fuck a three year old than a seven year old?
You don't have to dig such a big hole.
How do you stop a little girl crying?
Put your dick back in her mouth.
Joined: 01 Feb 2006 Posts: 19575 Local time: 4:30 AM Location: South Dakota
Posted: Tue May 26, 2009 11:25 pm Post subject:
I think "you have to make air plane noises to get your dick in her mouth" is the winner so far. _________________ Just as a magician is the least likely to believe in magic, those that are least likely to believe in the supernatural, are those that most understand the natural.
A prayer for men:
I'm a man......I can change....if I have to.....I guess....-Red Green
Joined: 01 Feb 2006 Posts: 19575 Local time: 4:30 AM Location: South Dakota
Posted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 12:10 pm Post subject:
You MIGHT be a pedophile if you have PMd Godless Lawyer for advice on how to get around your restraining order. _________________ Just as a magician is the least likely to believe in magic, those that are least likely to believe in the supernatural, are those that most understand the natural.
A prayer for men:
I'm a man......I can change....if I have to.....I guess....-Red Green
You might be a pedophile if.......you just bookmarked this page for use as advice later... _________________ Pro-Gun, Pro-Choice, Liberal/Democrat, Atheist, Hispanic-Texan
Peace, Liberty, and Justice For All...
"He's not gay, he's just European."
Joined: 20 Apr 2003 Posts: 5887 Local time: 2:30 PM Location: Houston, TX USA
Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:14 pm Post subject:
How is spinach like anal sex?
If yer forced to have it as a kid, you won't like it as an adult. _________________ Please visit my site at www.caseagainstfaith.com featuring critiques of Lee Strobel and other apologetics
Check out my InfidelGuy interviews, tapes 117 and 269
Joined: 01 Feb 2006 Posts: 19575 Local time: 4:30 AM Location: South Dakota
Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:42 pm Post subject:
You might be a pedofile if Miley Cyrus is
TOO OLD! _________________ Just as a magician is the least likely to believe in magic, those that are least likely to believe in the supernatural, are those that most understand the natural.
A prayer for men:
I'm a man......I can change....if I have to.....I guess....-Red Green
Joined: 01 Feb 2006 Posts: 19575 Local time: 4:30 AM Location: South Dakota
Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:46 pm Post subject:
ImRunninUDown!33 wrote:
You might be a pedofile if...you have a gunrack next to your toybox
=D
no?
....=[
What kind of toys? _________________ Just as a magician is the least likely to believe in magic, those that are least likely to believe in the supernatural, are those that most understand the natural.
A prayer for men:
I'm a man......I can change....if I have to.....I guess....-Red Green
Joined: 26 Oct 2008 Posts: 1332 Local time: 2:30 PM Location: Riding my pink unicorn in FL
Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:48 pm Post subject:
You might be a pedophile if you want to see if huge mylar balloons really attract 6 year olds. _________________ Atheism, a lack of religious belief, is still a belief system, is it? And I suppose the fact that I don’t collect stamps is still a hobby? (anon)
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