Why Parents Drink

CET · Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 11:23 am Post subject: Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the Worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to Elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son,
John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a
report card, that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.
_________________
Namaste,
CET Cool

The Spiritual Atheist

"Much of the suffering in the world comes from the delusion that we are separate from one another." - Gautama Buddha

"Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music." - George Carlin

Moloth · Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 11:26 am Post subject:

excellent.

Laughing

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Last edited by Moloth on Tue Feb 30, 2026 13:61 am; edited 426 times in total

LionHeart · Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 11:46 am Post subject:

Absolute genius.
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God says you must believe in him and accept his son, otherwise you will be sent to the bowels of Hell where you will be tortured for all eternity by evil demons and burned by fires so hot that no man can comprehend their fury.

But he loves you. =)

Noggin · Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 11:51 am Post subject:

Oh my that is good.

I can see my middle son doing this ... /cringe

-Noggin

not_a_theist · Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 12:13 pm Post subject:

ive seen various versions of this, including a letter from a girl off at college. They are great though.
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