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xena
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 Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:08 pm Post subject: What I like about the bible |
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The pages are so thin and soft and make such a hypnotic sound when turning them.
They make excellent toilet paper if you've run out.
Any more? |
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RyanDzundza
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:10 pm Post subject: |
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yeah but wouldnt you get ink on your behind lol
i dunno, its pretty heavy, good for smacking someone back into place with or a door stop and paper weight
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hillbillyatheist
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:11 pm Post subject: Re: What I like about the bible |
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| xena wrote: | | They make excellent toilet paper if you've run out. |
I doubt it. not unless you wanna paper cut your asshole. |
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JBCuzISaidSo
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Joined: 22 Feb 2008
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Location: South Florida
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:28 pm Post subject: Re: What I like about the bible |
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| xena wrote: | The pages are so thin and soft and make such a hypnotic sound when turning them.
They make excellent toilet paper if you've run out.
Any more? |
All right all right. I admit that I absolutely LOVE the smell of the paper used in my fancy older bibles I own. I love it. Granted it only gets to be appreciated when I open it to double check on family stuff kept inside the first few pages, or to refute somebody claiming something obvious, and some of my other older books smell just as sweet.....but that is my favorite thing about the older bibles I own.
How dare you waste it by wiping your bum!! Shame on you! Stop and smell the....biblical passages!
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xena
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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Oh the book I'm looking through right now is soft-really delicate.
But better use would be to wipe up spills and stuff, wipe your feet on to protect the carpet...
Burn............
No, I don't fancy a paper cut on my arse. |
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JBCuzISaidSo
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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| RyanDzundza wrote: | yeah but wouldnt you get ink on your behind lol
i dunno, its pretty heavy, good for smacking someone back into place with or a door stop and paper weight |
Shhh....don't say nuthin'....but I really do use mine as fillers for each shelf to keep the other books straight.
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hillbillyatheist
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:32 pm Post subject: |
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| xena wrote: | Oh the book I'm looking through right now is soft-really delicate.
But better use would be to wipe up spills and stuff, wipe your feet on to protect the carpet...
Burn............
No, I don't fancy a paper cut on my arse. |
well you have to admit the bible would make better toilet paper than this!
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RyanDzundza
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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well the only one in my house is my dads, and that just sits in the cupboard collecting dust untill i need to check something,
normally the really freaky stuf fi wouldnt expect to be in there,
i probs read that book more than my dad lol
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antonivs
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with Isaac Asimov that "Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived."
That is what I like about it.
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It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the Coca-Cola that the thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. |
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Hit_me_up024
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:31 pm Post subject: |
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um it was a good guideline in starting a civilized society.
(Ten Commandments)
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RyanDzundza
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Hit_me_up024 wrote: | um it was a good guideline in starting a civilized society.
(Ten Commandments) |
well it could have included at least an extra 2,
thou shalt not rape
thou shalt not keep slaves
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antonivs
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:53 pm Post subject: |
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| RyanDzundza wrote: | | Hit_me_up024 wrote: | um it was a good guideline in starting a civilized society.
(Ten Commandments) |
well it could have included at least an extra 2,
thou shalt not rape
thou shalt not keep slaves |
But banning slavery would have contradicted the 4th and 10th commandments which require allowing your slaves to rest on the Sabbath and prohibited coveting your neighbor's slaves.
How is it possible to improve on the law code of an omniscient being? 
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It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the Coca-Cola that the thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
Last edited by antonivs on Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:55 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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joshuas3521
Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition!
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:54 pm Post subject: |
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In my experience, it makes excellent rolling paper. No, I'm not joking, it is fantastic. (although I read mine a lot, so I only used the blank pages.)
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"What I'm saying is, if God wanted to send us a message, and ancient writings were the only way he could think of doing it, he could have done a better job." --Carl Sagan
"In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." --Douglas Adams
In memory of George Carlin. May he rest in peace.
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Aridiris
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Hit_me_up024 wrote: | um it was a good guideline in starting a civilized society.
(Ten Commandments) |
Except that civilized societies existed long before the ten commandments were written and most of the ten commandments are either pointless or are laws generally universal to all human societies and therefore add absolutely nothing new.
1. You shall have no other gods before me ~ BS
2. You shall not make for yourself an idol ~ BS
3. Don't take the Lord's name in vain ~ BS
4. Keep the Sabbath ~BS
5. Honor your father and mother ~ And what if your parents are abusive alcoholics? What if your parents are murderers or child molesters?
6. Don't kill ~ universal
7. Don't commit adultery ~ less universal but still common in many cultures
8. Don't steal ~ universal
9. Don't lie ~ sometimes lying is the right moral choice
10. Don't covet your neighbour's stuff ~ communism
If I hadn't struck number 5 and 9 as pointless, they're still somewhat universal values. The only think the ten commandments really adds is "don't covet" which would actually be detrimental to the advancement of any civilization and admonitions against greed are universal anyway. |
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antonivs
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 10:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Aridiris wrote: | | Hit_me_up024 wrote: | um it was a good guideline in starting a civilized society.
(Ten Commandments) |
Except that civilized societies existed long before the ten commandments were written and most of the ten commandments are either pointless or are laws generally universal to all human societies and therefore add absolutely nothing new.
1. You shall have no other gods before me ~ BS
2. You shall not make for yourself an idol ~ BS
3. Don't take the Lord's name in vain ~ BS
4. Keep the Sabbath ~BS
5. Honor your father and mother ~ And what if your parents are abusive alcoholics? What if your parents are murderers or child molesters?
6. Don't kill ~ universal
7. Don't commit adultery ~ less universal but still common in many cultures
8. Don't steal ~ universal
9. Don't lie ~ sometimes lying is the right moral choice
10. Don't covet your neighbour's stuff ~ communism
If I hadn't struck number 5 and 9 as pointless, they're still somewhat universal values. The only think the ten commandments really adds is "don't covet" which would actually be detrimental to the advancement of any civilization and admonitions against greed are universal anyway. |
6. Sometimes killing is necessary (i.e. self defense). In the original Hebrew text, it is murder, not killing that is prohibited. Also, prohibitions on murder may be universal, but what constitutes murder varies from culture to culture.
7. Do you want to criminalize adultery, or are you just talking about the morality of it? These 10 Commandments
were originally part of a legal code with strict punishments.
9. Also, it is not lying, but false testimony (i.e. perjury) that is prohibited by the Ten Commandments, so you might want to consider putting this rule back in.
10. A commandment against coveting your neighbor's stuff isn't communism. Quite the opposite. It is a rule by the wealthy to keep the less fortunate from wanting to get their goodies. Not only are you forbidden from stealing my stuff, you aren't even allowed to want it. As Daffy Duck said, "It's mine, all mine!"
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It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the Coca-Cola that the thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
Last edited by antonivs on Sat Jun 14, 2008 10:38 pm; edited 4 times in total |
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