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RyanDzundza Sock Puppet

Joined: 19 Sep 2007 Posts: 5250 Local time: 4:09 PM Location: Manchester

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Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 11:00 am Post subject: The Polite way to Pee |
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During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.'
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to
shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce
you to after dinner.'
The teacher fainted... _________________
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hillbillyatheist Administrator


Joined: 29 Jun 2004 Posts: 15984 Local time: 11:09 AM Location: Denver Colorado.
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Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 11:03 am Post subject: |
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oh that's priceless! |
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Jason_Harvestdancer WonderMod Powers ACTIVATE!

Joined: 23 Oct 2005 Posts: 2421 Local time: 8:09 AM Location: Northern LA County, CA
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:14 pm Post subject: |
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Ah, Little Johnny.
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In the classroom, the teacher poses the question "If there are three birds on a fence, and you hit one of them with a rock, how many are left?"
Little Johnny raises his hand. "Yes, Johnny, how many are there?"
"None, teacher, because the others would all fly away."
"The correct answer is two, but I like the way you think, Little Johnny."
So Little Johnny asks "Three women are sitting on a park bench eating popsicles. One of them is licking her popsicle, one of them is nibbling it, and one of them is sucking it. Which one is married?"
The teacher thinks for a moment, then says "the one sucking the popsicle?"
"No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think!"
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One day Little Johnny goes up to the board and writes "Little Johnny is a passionate devil." The teacher gets offended and orders Johnny to stay in during recess.
When the other kids return from recess they ask "What did the teacher make you do?"
"I can't say except that it sure pays to advertise." _________________ Nos laetus edo qui votum opprimo nobis.
LakeGeorgeMan actually think's I'm Socrates.
Visit my wife's art gallery |
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Hit_me_up024 Forum Master


Joined: 25 Dec 2007 Posts: 2351 Local time: 11:09 AM Location: My parents basement.

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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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i hate when someone tries to speak with me while im at the urinal. Its just strange _________________ KILL the pancake
Props to Enemy_of_Reality |
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joshuas3521 Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Joined: 19 Dec 2007 Posts: 2236 Local time: 11:09 AM Location: Birmingham, Alabama

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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Hit_me_up024 wrote: | | i hate when someone tries to speak with me while im at the urinal. Its just strange |
That's what I thought this thread would be about too |
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rickcopeland648 The Phantom Teabagger

Joined: 09 Sep 2005 Posts: 3021 Local time: 4:09 PM
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:44 pm Post subject: |
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Despite her lack of a schlong, Letitia Baldridge once wrote a collumn regarding this very subject to which The Rick Copeland always adheres. Before taking a whiz he applies a dick-bib... Now the big question is does one finger his prick with a spoon, fork, or knife? _________________ “I think it’s also important for the President to lay out a timetable as to how long they will be involved and when they will be withdrawn.”
-- George W. Bush on Clinton's involvement in Kosovo, 1999
"Syphilis is the algebra of infection."
(\ /)
(O.o)
(> <)
Can't... fight... any... longer... must.. help.. bunny.. achieve.. global.. domination.. All.. hail... bunny...
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transientangent Forum Leader


Joined: 25 Apr 2005 Posts: 1638 Local time: 2:09 AM
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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Reminds me of another joke:
Guy walks into a doctor's office, says, "I got a problem with my dick!"
Secretary says, "Sir I cannot tolerate that sort of language, go out, come back, and try again."
Guy comes back in says, "I got a problem with my dick!"
She says again, "I cannot tolerate that sort of langugage. Just tell me you've got a problem with your ear or something."
Well he comes back in the third time says, "I got a problem with my ear!"
Doc walks in at this point, hears, and asks, "What's wrong with your ear?"
Guy says, "I can't piss out of it!" _________________ everything is changing
a constant flow
our existence - a photograph
the time - like slow-motion
did someone realize
that our life is based
on the history we've been taught
we are living the results of a lie
Project Pitchfork - "Existence"
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