Questions about funerals...specifically MY funeral

monty

I'm getting my affairs in order now since I have a child. Having a will is pretty important just in case I happened to get squished/melted/etc.

One section of the will concerns burial and funeral directions and I'm having trouble coming up with a good way of phrasing what I want done - mostly because I do not know what I want done. I know specifically that I do NOT want a church funeral or anything resembling it. I also know that the opening reading of the funeral will be an address from me starting with:

If you are hearing this - then I'm dead.

My final request to you is this. Please refer to me as "dead". I am have not passed on anywhere. I am not in a better place. I am dead. I am in the box in front of you - at least most of me should be. If they harvested any organs then I am helping some other people live on in a better way - but the fact remains that I am still dead.

I'm not in a heaven or a hell. I'm dead. Take a look - I'm still in the box. Dead.

So please - I implore you - when you refer to me in conversation please say that "Monty is dead". Don't say "Monty passed on" and for Hank's sake DO NOT SAY I am in a better place.

Saying I'm worm food or saying I'm pushing up the daisies is highly acceptable - because it is true. And since it's also highly irreverent - something I always liked - it quite likely I'd appreciate the comment. Of course, in that case I'm dead, so I won't know.

That part will be read by a trusted friend. I highly suspect it won't be taken well by the crowd so it is a huge responsibility to ask of someone.

However, I am still confused - a non-religious funeral is pretty much whatever format you want. I'm open to suggestions, readings, etc.

I'm pondering the concept of having a "Speaker for the Dead", which is a concept I love very much....but I'm open to suggestions.

Philosophos · Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 11:31 pm Post subject:

Mmmm... I'm curious why you want to have such view espoused when they may make those who mourn for you uncomfortable (unless you're somewhat certain it won't - in which case, please forgive my assumption).

It's my personal opinion that when you're dead, you're dead (and I feel quite safe to say that we probably agree on this matter).

So, why do you care to have this speech read after you die? It certainly won't make you feel better. So - what's the point?

Me - I just wanna be creamated or thrown in the nearest ditch. I don't care. And, literally, I won't care. Let those who mourn for me mourn in whatever way they see fit. Embalm "me". Rape "me". Eat "me". The funeral's for them - not me. Literally. Because the real "me" won't exist anymore.

At least that's my opinion. I look forward to hearing your reasoning or feelings that support yours.
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Specus_Meretricis · Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:23 am Post subject:

I always felt having your servants buried with you and various other human sacrifices very tasteful and poignant. I'm sure most funeral homes can accommodate you. Oh, and find out if they have a special or coupon for year long gladiatorial games in your honor.
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ShaSha · Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:18 am Post subject:

You can request how others should think or feel about your death but it is pretty much going to go whichever direction the person already thinks. The atheist might smile and say good job. The theist might smile and say you found out differently Smile

Depending on whether you suffered a long time or not prior to your death, the comment that you are in a better place may not be a foolhardy one at all.

hillbillyatheist · Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 9:30 am Post subject:

I'm with philo, but will take it further than he. that speech you want read will do nothing but cause but pain. it will be like rubbing salt in the wounds of the mourning people.

I agree with the speech and I would still find it offensive if it were read at the funeral of a loved one.

why not have a speech focusing on how much you loved them and how you want them to go on living, and you will always be in their memories?

anyway I don't care what happens to my corpse when I die, since I won't be alive to experience anything. hell they can burn my ashes down into a jesus statue for all I care. Laughing

of course I hope I won't die, that I can be frozen and brought back to life in the future. hey its worth dreaming about.

ChrissyFos · Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 9:35 am Post subject:

Why do you care so much about what people say of you when you are gone? It won't really matter, since you're dead.
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baddogma · Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 9:55 am Post subject:

I sorta like the new idea of freezing your remains in liquid nitrogen, pulverising it and using it for fertilizer. Flower food! Beats cremation., plus you get to stick it out in the food chain in another form.

I don't want a funeral. Waste of money. Throw my carcass to the wolves and remember me how I was. It better bring laughs not sadness to my loved ones. They know I thought death was final. No need to remind them.
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monty · Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 9:55 am Post subject:

Philosophos · Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 11:11 am Post subject:

monty · Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 12:18 pm Post subject:

We all persist beyond the graves as memories in the minds of others. Beyond that a few famous individuals persist through their works - authors, engineers, etc.

Just because I will at some point most (hopefully far from now!) be dead does not mean that I will not persist as a concept.
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Nimitz · Guest Local time: 6:18 PM

How many of you heathens already have a hole paid for?! Smile

If you're ever in Upper Sandusky Ohio after I croak stop by and see me. I'll just be hangin' out with the dead. It's a pretty cool old grave yard. Even has a few dead indians from the late 1700's. So I got that to look forward to.

LOLatChristians · Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 4:25 pm Post subject:

I don't have any suggestions because I am pretty much ignorant to all those processes, but I am among those of you who do not want a funeral or a casket, or anything like that. It's unofficial, but I've told my friends and family that, if possible (read: if legal), I'd like to be flung off of a mountain/cliff/ledge into a body of water (fairly large, preferably).

I've firmly made it clear that I do not want a service of any kind.

Anyone know it's legal for my body to be flung off of a mountain into the water? I'd imagine it isn't, for sanitation concerns.

huff · Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 pm Post subject:

Highlander?

Chaoslord2004 · Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 9:17 pm Post subject:

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