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Cracker Jack
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Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 51
Local time: 7:00 PM
Location: Lost in my mind...
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 Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:12 pm Post subject: couple of jokes off the top of my head |
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They may not sound right, I can't really remember some of them correctly.
A drunk stumbles out of a bar and wanders into a church. He sits in a confession stand.
After 5 minutes pass, the priest asks "Is there something you want to say, my son?"
The drunk responds "That depends, is there any toilet paper on your end?".
A couple of friends go to the stadium to watch a baseball game. They notice several nuns in front of them but they want to freely scream and swear without being annoyed by the nuns. So they start ranting about Christians (or w/e nuns are) and how they eagerly try to avoid them in hopes that the nuns will leave.
Finally one of the nuns turn around and says
"Why don't you try hell? I hear there aren't many Christians there"
An Irishman, a Scot, and a Brit stumble upon a genie who offers to grant them all one wish
"I want a giant 600 foot wall to protect my entire country!" the Brit says
"I want a bottle that will never go dry" the Irishman says
"How big is the wall?" the Scot asks
"600 feet"
"Good. Fill it with water"
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Pressure: It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or a normal person into a total basketcase. |
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pavlos
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Joined: 26 Sep 2004
Posts: 40
Local time: 12:00 AM
Location: bedfordshire, england.
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| Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 2:02 pm Post subject: Re: couple of jokes off the top of my head |
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| Cracker Jack wrote: | They may not sound right, I can't really remember some of them correctly.
A drunk stumbles out of a bar and wanders into a church. He sits in a confession stand.
After 5 minutes pass, the priest asks "Is there something you want to say, my son?"
The drunk responds "That depends, is there any toilet paper on your end?".
A couple of friends go to the stadium to watch a baseball game. They notice several nuns in front of them but they want to freely scream and swear without being annoyed by the nuns. So they start ranting about Christians (or w/e nuns are) and how they eagerly try to avoid them in hopes that the nuns will leave.
Finally one of the nuns turn around and says
"Why don't you try hell? I hear there aren't many Christians there"
An Irishman, a Scot, and a Brit stumble upon a genie who offers to grant them all one wish
"I want a giant 600 foot wall to protect my entire country!" the Brit says
"I want a bottle that will never go dry" the Irishman says
"How big is the wall?" the Scot asks
"600 feet"
"Good. Fill it with water" |
Then the Scots would drown, you sure he wants to do that, the joke should start "an Irishman, a Scot and an Englishman", the English, the Scottish, and the Welsh are all Brits.
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Jason_Harvestdancer
WonderMod Powers ACTIVATE!
Joined: 23 Oct 2005
Posts: 2419
Local time: 4:00 PM
Location: Northern LA County, CA
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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Two country boys were visiting the big city (population 100) and heard people talking about fucking. They were confused so they decided to ask their dad about it.
Well, the younger brother stopped by at the out house while the older went inside and said "Paw, what's 'fucking'?"
Paw thought for a minute then yelled out "Maw, come in here."
Maw came in.
"Maw, take off your clothes."
Maw took off her clothes.
Paw turned to his kid and said "You see that hole on Maw? Well, this is fucking." And Paw showed fucking.
The younger brother came in and said "What'r Maw and Paw doing?"
"Fucking." said the older brother.
"What's fucking?"
The older brother thought for a minute and pointed and said "You see that hole on Paw? Well, this is fucking."
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LakeGeorgeMan actually think's I'm Socrates.
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