Objective Ministries v. Landover Baptist

jesuschrshit

While surfing for funny and sacrilegious stuff, I came across this link: http://objectiveministries.org/shutdown/. Well, I had to stop and read it (while containing my uncontrollable laughter...). When I was done reading that skull-numbering, I wrote the following e-mail to the Head Minister Dude:

***Dear Sir:

I just had the utmost pleasure of wandering into your site by accident and I wish you thank you for the laughs. I needed that today! Please allow me to explain why as follows:

#1-"Link to Landover Baptist website
WARNING: Should not be viewed by anyone under 21."

I contend, Sir, that the same disclaimer should be placed in the Bible. Subjecting children under 21 to that filth should be, for sure, declared child abuse and a crime against humanity at large.

#2. "Landover Baptist claims to be a church. Moreover, they claim to be the only church in America that understands the Bible! In fact, neither is true. Landover Baptist is a fraud. A joke. Their true purpose is not to spread the Gospel of our Lord, but to trick people - especially those who have not received the Word and Salvation or have been programmed by secular culture to distrust Christianity - into believing that Christianity is evil and rejecting it.

Those of us with a healthy sense of humor and our feet strongly grounded on reality see it for what it is A GOOD JOKE and we derive a great deal of harmless pleasure from reading it. They are detoxing people's minds from the poison you put in there with your religious bigotry, fantasies and threats.

#3.

- LOL Jesus (Love Our Lord)

This should be http://www.loljesus.com/ - LOL Jesus (Lough Out Loud) - Because that is the only thing that your religion and dogma inspire on intelligent, rational individuals.

#4. "Landover Baptist is run by an organization that calls itself - no doubt in gleeful mockery of Our Lord - Americhrist Ltd. Its leader is a shadowy figure named Chris Harper who apparently has a history of anti-Christian bigotry. Although Landover Baptist claims to own vast properties and have thousands of members, in reality it exists only on the Internet and it's membership is quite small."

By galee, I think there is hope that you might get it yet! As for Christ Harper being a "shadowy figure" - well, Sir, I doubt that he is any more shadowier than your own leaders, to name a few: George W. Bush, Pat Robertson, Oral Roberts, Jerry Falwell and countless others. What, Sir, may I ask is the opposite of "anti-Christian bigotry" if not Christian Bigotry! Yet you fail to see the irony and humor in Landover "claiming" to own thousands of member and own vast properties but existing only cyberspace as compared to your own leaders' claims...

#5. Their modus operandi is simple: post articles that take good Christian values and twist them - beyond recognition - such that they look arrogant, hateful, or just idiotic. To this they add a continuous mockery of The Lord and Salvation, such as portraying Jesus Christ as the captain of a decadent cruise ship or offering a free cellphone as a reward for those who become saved - demeaning the value of Salvation to that of some material trinket!

No doubt, it is "good Christian values" such as the following that have been twisted around:

"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword." - Jesus - Matthew 10:34

“Happy shall be he, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.” (Psalm 137:9)

“For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death.” (Leviticus 20:9)

“There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.” (Ezekiel 23:20)

“If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son…bring him unto the elders of his city…And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die; so shalt thou put evil away among you!” (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)

“Suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” (1 Timothy 2:12)

“And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the FLESH of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.” (Deuteronomy 28:53)

Now, I could go on "twisting good Christian values" but, unfortunately, Sir, it is not my intention to quote the Bible in its entirety.

#6. Your harangue for people to "Shutdown Landover 'Baptist'" because "He didn't give his life to be mocked" could easily be used to "Shutdown Religion" because "He didn't give his life to be mocked" (that is, of course, provided He ever existed, and, if He did, He would be turning in His grave due to the atrocities that have been and continue to be perpetrated against humanity in His name).

#7. Thank you for providing that list of other "blasphemous" sites, you did good research and I had the time of my life in those websites.

Finally, Sir, my only fear is that I am wrong about my non-beliefs and there really is a hell that I will have to spend all eternity there with you and the likes of you.

May the Spaghetti Monster Bless you!

In No God I trust and doing my best to piss off the religious right. *** [End of e-mail]

I do things like these on a regular basis and was wondering if I am the only one, if not, I'd love to hear what others do to PO the religious right.

"Atheism is mythunderstood."

chrisreid · Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 4:14 pm Post subject:

haha i wonder if he's going to reply. you probably made him cry.
_________________
"Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has" -Martin Luther

"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?" -Woody Allen

chrisreid · Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 4:16 pm Post subject:

haha i wonder if he's going to reply. you probably made him cry.
_________________
"Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has" -Martin Luther

"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?" -Woody Allen

jesuschrshit · Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 4:33 pm Post subject:

chrisreid · Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 10:40 pm Post subject:

Raskolnikov · Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 11:05 pm Post subject:

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