Muslim - But I Am Starting to Realize

foolishpwnzr · Visitor Joined: 15 Aug 2008 Posts: 2 Local time: 12:19 PM

Hello everyone,

Now, this is an extremely tough subject for me, I can only share it to myself since , well, no one else I know thinks like me. All of my friends are religious or believe in God. My entire family is Muslim , and very strict at that. I really feel like I need to let out my thinkings and share with others so that I can get some different opinions and views.

Now, like I said, this is a touchy subject. My entire family is Muslim, including my 7 uncles and 2 aunts all with families. My father is a very strict muslim. He prays 5 times a day, always on the right times, he doesnt drink, he doesnt smoke, only eats Hallal meat. He has all his faith in God. All my uncles and aunts aswell are very strict. When it comes down to my brother (26) and my sister (19) it loosens up a lot. I guess its because my father grew up in a muslim country with a muslim culture all around him, as me and my siblings grew up in europe and are a lot more liberal and open minded. My siblings don't pray but they believe in God. We only pray when we have to - (like if my family is together and we all have to pray together). I am 16 years old by the way, I forgot to mention, so i've seen things in my life. I've been to Mecca and visited all the holy sites. I have listened to the infinite stories of miracles of the prophet and the immams and the wonderful things they have done. I know full prayers in Arabic - even though I dont speak the language, my dad started teaching me when I was young so it just sort of stuck to me.

Well I guess i'll get to what I want to speak about. About two years ago I just started thinking about God. Such a huge variety of subjects and discussions you can have. I started to think about heaven and hell. What I thought was, when back a long time ago when these things were thought up of, people really had no idea about anything that goes on in the universe or in our world as a matter of fact. People thought it was impossible to travel past the clouds, and that heaven layed there. The only way to get past was by death and your soul going up. Today we can go all the way into space! There is no heavens up there. Back in those days, I think people created heaven as an assurance of a better life than the one they live at the time. People looked to this created "God" when they were in fear and made wishes, just for any hope they could get. Also, back in that time, there was always someone ranked higher than the other. A King, a President , a Pope. They needed a ruler of them - God. They believed God created everything, and actually believed that he controlled everything that happened to the world. If he did control everything, why is there so much pain and suffering in the world? Why would this "God" create the emotion of hate, anger, jealousy, revenge into our genes? Why could we all not be perfect and live in harmony? It is not god that created this, it is nature. The universe is what it is, why did something or someone have to have created it? Why cant it just be there? If God controls everything on this world, why am I feeling like he does not exist? I just feel like my entire family has a cover in front of their eyes, and I have learned to see past this cover. When I was younger and I thought about God I felt he was there up high. Now if I think what is here, its just us and our universe. I feel like I sort of got God to go away if you understand what I mean. I feel like I am the only one in my family that really understands what the world is about and that everyone is living in the past of knowledgeless thinking. I mean as religion grew from 3000 years ago many gods were created. The greeks had multiple gods. It started to narrow down to 1. If you think about it today, we know so much, that no new religions are being created with new gods, we are still following principles of the god created 2500+ years ago.

Something which really pushes me over the edge, is all these miracles ive been told about. One of them is that on the night of the date that imam hussein died, the sand of his grave turns red. My dad has some of this rare acquired sand. On the night we were praying for the entire time and my uncle told me it would turn red. Now I thought about this and I was like "How is that even possible? Date is part of our time system. TIME DOES NOT EXIST. It is not actually possible to happen" I told my dad this and he just got pissed off that I was defying the greatness of imam hussein. I just find all this miracle stuff such bullshit. Thousands of these events happened 1400 years ago when Islam was forming, how come we dont see any of this now? Oh thats right, because its just made up. Sometimes I just think that these prophets were on heavy drugs and actually saw this shit and people believed them because they didn't know better. When they saw it was forming they just continued. Thats honestly how I feel sometimes about this religion. And what pisses me off even more is that I have to pray everytime my dad asks me to, I have to fast, I have to do all the religious activities the entire year! Even though I don't believe in this stuff. Now I love my dad and my family very much, but if I tell them this, I would be disowned immediately, and i love them too much to do that so i play this on going game of religion. Now when we pray together, I dont pray, i just stand there staring at the mat thinking about these thoughts that I have shared with you tonight.

Man there is so much stuff I can talk about, but I will leave it with this for tonight and maybe continue later Smile

I hope I can get some feedback, thanks!

chookrooter · Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:53 pm Post subject:

I think you, Risky and Mughal are going to get along spiffingly.

Although I have strong opinions about both Risky and Mughal, I'll keep them to myself.

I think they are both sincere, but different.

Welcome ,I hope you find some of what you seek here..

RMS · Intern Joined: 16 Dec 2007 Posts: 51 Local time: 12:19 PM

I can't even begin to imagine what you will be facing and how you are exactly feeling...however your post touches me in a very profound way.

You are on the right path, continue on it, but protect yourself.

Best wishes,

RS

Dawkadoodle · Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:51 pm Post subject:

Anti-Islamic Muslims were of the most extreme minded people I knew of back in IsraJew.

pr126 · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:04 am Post subject:

Dawkadoodle · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:08 am Post subject:

SvZurich · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 2:55 am Post subject:

Welcome foolishpwnzr! Very Happy

Please be careful and hide your disbelief from your family until you are in a position where they cannot harm you.

In the Islamic section of this board, you will see that a Muslim man recently cut his daughter's tongue and murdered her for becoming a Christian.

Until you are safe from their reprisals for your apostasy, play their game. Pretend to believe, go through the motions, and keep yourself safe.

Hide your real thoughts until you are safe from any harm they could do you.
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Dawkadoodle · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 9:19 am Post subject:

I like how you made an anti-Semitic statement , PR, then edited it out of your statements.

baddogma · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 10:37 am Post subject:

Welcome, congratulations on escaping the mental delusion. You are in a tough position, but it is not safe to admit your feelings to your family. If you love your family play along, if you love free thought escape.

I would not trade my free thought for my family though I love them dearly. I could not play along with their fantasy existence. Life is too short.

Good luck and again, welcome!
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A_Atheist_named_Christian · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 10:47 am Post subject:

Dawkadoodle · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 10:50 am Post subject:

Vyrian · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 11:43 am Post subject:

Dawkadoodle · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:16 pm Post subject:

ApostateLois · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:29 pm Post subject:

Welcome to atheistforums, foolishpwnzer! Smile

How old are you? If you are still living with your family, you will probably just have to play along with them, pretend you believe like they do, until you can get out on your own and support yourself. Like many religious parents, they just won't understand why you don't simply accept everything they teach you on blind faith, and they might even think they raised you wrong because you don't believe. So, just hang in there until you are independent.
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Amberli · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:43 pm Post subject:

Welcome, what a rough spot to be in. Hopefully you will find some relief here, as you can talk about whatever you want. Very Happy

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