How do they survive

RyanDzundza · Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:17 am Post subject: How do they survive

ONE: Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half
dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at
the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or
twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I
can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO: I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed
it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had
scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all
over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code
she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've
changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said, "OK," and
I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE: A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she
was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR: I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into
my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)
would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an
alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE: Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One
day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out
of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX: I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had
set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN: My neighbor works in the operations department in the central
office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming
from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

EIGHT: Police in Radnor, PA. interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't
telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE: A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she
needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be
fine. The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher:
Rush him in to emergency room!

Life is tough;

It's tougher if you're stupid
_________________

Raskolnikov · Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:18 am Post subject:

Lol those all your stories? Or someone elses? Either way it's pritty funny.
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-Thomas Jefferson

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-Dr. Emmett Brown

Mr_C · Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:55 am Post subject:

I've heard of a few of them before...
Mostly urban legends I think.

Example 1:
http://www.snopes.com/legal/colander.asp
Example 2:
http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/cruise.asp
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RyanDzundza · Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:58 am Post subject:

i just got them in an email today off my sister, didnt think they were true but funny all the same so i thought id share them

i think my life would be quite enjoyable if these were all my stories lol
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BarkAtTheMoon · Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 1:32 pm Post subject:

munky99999 · Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 1:34 am Post subject:

ONE: He is working at mcdonalds...

TWO: walmart...

THREE: comp newb...

FOUR: woman driver...

FIVE: MBA interns...

SIX: Mmmm cruise control...

SEVEN: comp newb...

EIGHT: Tech newb...

NINE: Dumb mom...

Pretty damn generic set of stories.
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A cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his fleshand drink his blood; while telepathically tell him you accept him as your master so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

You cant outsmart me; you can only outnumber me.

aitm · Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 9:31 pm Post subject:

Still funny and I don't doubt them at all. I was at a micky d myself and gave the gal 5 bucks for a 4.85 tab and her computer went down, She was lost. I told her 15 cents change and the manager came over and said, just give him his five back until the computers come up. Oy.
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