1,000 Things Christians Can't Do.

Vyrian · Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 1:41 pm Post subject: 1,000 Things Christians Can't Do.

Let's make a list of 1,000 things Christians can't do because of their religious beliefs.

1. Christians can't have sex
2. Christians can't admit to being gay, but can have sex with young boys.
3. Christians can't understand math, science, and history.
4. Christians can't see in colors. They are as color blind as dogs.
5. Christians can't understand that the fiction section means made-up, and the non-fiction section is real.
6. Christians can't smell fruit.
7. Christians can't breasts bigger than B.
8. Christians can't spell Evolution correctly.
9. Christians can't shit without praying first.
10. Christians can't eat food that isn't flesh and blood, especially if it isn't from Christ.
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Raskolnikov · Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 2:16 pm Post subject:

Christians can't have sex with animals.
Christian women are not allowed to speak in church.
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"Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, underwhich weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, for if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear."
-Thomas Jefferson

"The future is not set in stone. The future is what you make it. So make it a good one!"
-Dr. Emmett Brown

helloween_metal · Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:18 pm Post subject:

Christians cant play or listen to Heavymetal-hardrock music
Christians cant play fantasy games ( they consider it occult)
Christians cant watch cartoons and films (occult )
Christians cant wear black t-shirt
Christians cant smoke hookas,bidis,cigerates etc
Christians cant go to job if they have calling for ministrey by lord
Christians cant have unbeliever frends

(all this was told to me by many pastors when i was christian)
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish

La Ilaha · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:55 pm Post subject:

Christian can't be Catholic

Razz

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Behead those who say Islam is not religion of peace.

baddogma · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:01 pm Post subject:

Christians can't define god!
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Can omnicient god who knows the future find the omnipotence to change his future mind?

I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar....

smartmarzipan: "Debating fundies is like playing chess with pigeons. They knock over all the pieces, shit all over the board, and then fly back to the roost to declare victory."

Moloth · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:03 pm Post subject:

Christians can't date ME.
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-=The Believer is Happy; the Skeptic is Wise=-

www.Moloth.com

Last edited by Moloth on Tue Feb 30, 2026 13:61 am; edited 426 times in total

baddogma · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:33 pm Post subject:

Christians can't shit a new argument to save their lives!
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Join http://www.sefora.org/

Can omnicient god who knows the future find the omnipotence to change his future mind?

I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar....

smartmarzipan: "Debating fundies is like playing chess with pigeons. They knock over all the pieces, shit all over the board, and then fly back to the roost to declare victory."

helloween_metal · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:49 pm Post subject:

Moloth · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:57 pm Post subject:

helloween_metal · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:07 pm Post subject:

baddogma · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:10 pm Post subject:

helloween_metal · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:10 pm Post subject:

that was just a joke bad dogma =D
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish

Vyrian · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 11:34 pm Post subject:

christians can't fly.
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Dawkadoodle · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 11:46 pm Post subject:

Atheists can't go to the Elysian Fields.

Oh Wait.

FlatEarth1024 · Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:03 am Post subject:

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